Hate Destroys

[cremebrulee]

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity.

Hate destroys lives...

It's easier to hate then it is to try and understand people for who they are...
Mentally, we do not all think alike, some of us are not as far along as others mentally...and to understand that...takes hard work.

My maternal mother was very abusive...very abusive...she hit and smacked and was so delussional...she gave me bloody noses...I'm hard of hearing in both ears from the cracks she gave me across the ears...I can still hear that ringing in my ear when she'd do that.

At the age of five years old, a family took me into they're home, thank God. 
Otherwise I'd be just like her...


When I was young, I'd be very embarrassed of my real mother...her social skills were less then acceptable and the things she'd talk about were off the charts. 

There were times when I hated her, she was actually jealous of me, b/c I was popular in school.  She used to tell me it was my fault we were very poor.  I had to go to work when I was 13 to help out...I didn't mind...really, I didn't.  But the woman who took me in as her own, used to tell me, no matter how terrible she is, she is still your mother...so, I still go to see her, although the visits are short. 

I used to hate her...because of all the bad things she did to me...now, there is no more hate, I feel very sorry for her...she is alone...no one likes her, she has no friends...and I just cannot hate her...I don't want to...and as long as she lives...I will continue to visit her...she's my maternal mother...and she is a sick woman...always has been...her life as a child was awful and it surly affected her mental capacity...

my point is, do I hate my DIL...heck no...I wish more then anything she would stop this foolishness...this desire to hit back so to speak...this desire to keep my GD from me...and yet, when they lived home for a year, I was good enough to watch her every single weekend...?  maybe my son pushed for that, I dunno?  But my ponit is...what does hating accomplish. 

[2chickiebaby]

Your story is hard to hear, Creme...so much you've walked through....some people have a hard road to live a life.  I'm sorry this double whammy hit you with the DIL.  I know you only wanted to love her.  Just heartbreaking.

I'm envious of you that you have no ill will toward anyone.    May your tribe increase!!

[cremebrulee]

Thanks Chickie, I appreciate your kindness...however, I don't look at the bad times as that bad really...I know, I'm a better person for it...Chickie, I've had so many wonderful opportunities in my life...so many blessings...if it wouldn't have been for that wonderful woman who took me in and treated me as her own, I wouldn't be who I am today...nor would I have had the opportunities I have.  She was so kind, loving, caring and giving...she was my best friend...and mother...and if it wouldn't be for her, I might be hateful...or just like my maternal mother, b/c that is the only role model I would have had...I vowed, as a little girl, when I grew up, my children would have only love....they wouldn't know cruelty...hate, vindictiveness....and when I had my son, my priorities even changed more...

So happy, I've been where I've been and experienced it all...God is good.