Author Topic: Sad Lady at the ballpark  (Read 1389 times)

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2chickiebaby

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Sad Lady at the ballpark
« on: December 11, 2009, 07:51:28 AM »
2 years age (about), we were at the ballpark watching our grandson play ball.

Up comes this elderly woman (I GUESS SHE THOUGHT WE WERE THE SAME AGE!!!) Yes, I'm screaming!!!!

Anyway, she said to me: "hello, do you live around here?"   I told her that I did.  She went on to tell me that her son was a Pilot and she had had a stroke and lived in another state. 

The Doctor's told her son that she could not live alone.  They insisted she come to wherever her only child lived so she could be looked after???  Strangers would have been better, but I digress...

She said her son said she must come live with them.  All is well when the son is in town but when he leaves for a trip, this woman (his wife) who looks like Anna Nicole Smith treats her like a criminal.

She makes her live on another wing of the house and barks orders to her threw an intercom system.  She is not allowed out of the room anytime when he's gone.  She went to the ballgame because her son was in town.

She decided to tell her son about it.  Anna Nicole stood behind her son and glared at the poor thing and scared her to death!!!!

She asked me if I lived far away.  I told her I didn't....to call me and I gave her my number.  She never called. 

I don't know the people's names or I would call her.  She said, "this is my only child....I am so lonely and very afraid. I raised him all by myself!!"

This broke my heart.  It is a fate worse than death to be left in the care of these women.


cremebrulee

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2009, 07:55:45 AM »
ohhhh my Chickie....
this is so surreal, so sad...so, down right unfair.  This woman lives her whole life, raises her only son, to be treated like this...

I wonder what he did? 

His wife is insane...literally...and it makes me so angry...Operah ought to do a program on inlaw abuse...yanno, I bet there are a lot of people out there who go thru this....

This makes me very angry!  Poor woman....


2chickiebaby

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2009, 08:03:20 AM »
Cremebrulee,
No Oprah and NO DR. PHIL....they allow Mothers on there whose son's wives are clearly being horrible to their Mother and Dr. Phill and Oprah, in the past have allowed the abuse. 

There is nowhere for a Mother to go.  We have to take it.

I have thought of that poor woman so much.  I remember those scared eyes and hope she got to go back to her state or that at least she got to go somewhere else, even death would be welcomed, I'm sure. 

cremebrulee

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2009, 08:23:14 AM »
2chickiebaby
Quote
Cremebrulee,
No Oprah and NO DR. PHIL....they allow Mothers on there whose son's wives are clearly being horrible to their Mother and Dr. Phill and Oprah, in the past have allowed the abuse. 

Really?  I'm very surprised???? Are you sure that the MIL's weren't to blame?   

Quote
There is nowhere for a Mother to go.  We have to take it.

I have thought of that poor woman so much.  I remember those scared eyes and hope she got to go back to her state or that at least she got to go somewhere else, even death would be welcomed, I'm sure.

yeah ya do...there is nothing else can be done...

Yanno, I'm wondering....and would like to ask the mothers....

When this first started, how did you feel?  I mean, the very first instant she was nasty to you?  What were you thinking...?

When it happened to me, I went into a state of shock...I mean literally, I shut down...and kept thinking, this is his brand new wife??  What is going on?  Why is she acting like this towards me and talking so mean?  Why is she so blatenly rude and nasty?  Yanno, deep inside, I knew all along, but didn't want to admit it to myself that this was real, that this is what she wanted...I kept trying to tell my self, it was a mood she was in...I was in denial for so long...my family told me to never go down again....but I wouldn't listen...

Friends told me she was very immature and cruel...but I wouldn't listen...I was angry and talked about her behavior....was frustrated and couldn't believe it was happening...?  I was so angry...so darned angry, but kept telling myself, this isn't happening...this can't be real, this is his wife...? 

How did all of you feel?

When did the first situation start?  What happened and how did you feel...

Offline Pen

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2009, 04:05:18 PM »
How did it start? We've never been invited to their house except to help them move! I guess that should have been sign number one. My DIL's snarky comments disguised as genuine questions about DS's childhood started a couple of months after they married. Something in our discussions seemed off, but because it never occurred to me she could be so mean, it didn't sink in. I kept making excuses for her behavior. One shocking day we were dis-invited to an event DS had planned for all of us. The reason was given that DIL just doesn't like anything about us. DS was so mad about it he came to us soon after and had a major vent about DIL. We were so good, though...didn't chime in with our opinions, let him rant and led him gently to his own conclusion that counseling was vital to the health of his marriage. We totally backed off from contacting him for a few weeks,just to give them some space. (Aren't we awesome??) After that we were ignored by DIL and her family at events we all attended. DS would come over, shaking his head at their rudeness, sit with us awhile, reassure us it was them, not us, and then go back. We finally saw them both at Thanksgiving. DIL was bored and on her Blackberry most of the time.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

cocobars

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2010, 09:15:22 AM »
It's sad people are this way toward elderly people.  It's not always a DIL, but that may make it worse.  In the end, it was this woman's word against her DIL's, and society seems to discount the elderly as being absent...

I live with my elderly parents (90/mother, and 91/father) and take care of them and their property.  They live on one floor above me, and I live in an apartment in the bottom floor of their house.  I've been here for three years.  I hadn't showered and looked terrible yesterday, so I asked my father to come with me to a 7-11 to go in and pay for something (since I was embarassed of myself).  I do all the driving.  He walks very slow and can't hear very well.  A girl walked up behind him and started making faces at him behind his back.  He was slow paying and moving our of her way, so she got worse and it looked like she was yelling at him.  Then she laughed as he walked away.

I felt so bad for him and will not ask him to do that again.  It's not the first time I have seen someone treat my parents like that.   I asked him what the "lady" behind him was saying, and he said he didn't know!  I'm happy he didn't, but I worry that he did and doesn't want me to know.  The faces she was making were awful.

I hope you see the sad lady again.  You may be her only happiness!

2chickiebaby

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Re: Sad Lady at the ballpark
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2010, 09:20:51 AM »
I have looked for her but have never seen her again...she never called me.  I hope she got to go back home like she wanted to do. 

I'm so sorry about your Dad, Coco.  So sad