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abused by all 3 of son's 3 spouses!

Started by mother of 3 sons, July 28, 2011, 02:33:14 AM

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Pooh

I think that's very true to trying.  I also think when we had good childhoods and no issues with our parents, it tends to swing the opposite way.  I picked a first husband that was totally different from me and my parents.  That made it adventurous, daring and a little scary.  I had a model upbringing, for the most part and was a goody-two-shoes.  I picked the original bad boy.  He held true to himself and turned out to be the original bad hubby!  Lol.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

Yup, novelty in marriage is usually short-lived. I picked in a partner someone who reflected my level of maturity. Ouch! It worked eventually...of course...because I finally grew up.  8)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Belle, welcome to the site. I think you have a point, it's good to look at these issues from different perspectives before getting stuck on one causative factor. IMO, these problems have many variables which makes unraveling them so difficult. It doesn't mean the DILs in MO3S's post aren't all the problem, since DS is the one choosing them and he obviously has some things to sort out. But it does seem to point to him one way or the other, as it does in many cases here on the site - many of our DSs need to be involved in finding solutions to the problems between ILs and spouses.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb