This is my first post, I desperately need some advice, if not to help my situation (if that's possible) or at the very least to help me come to terms with it. I am mother of 3 adult children, (2 sons and a daughter) I have 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter only 9 weeks old. Each child has one each. My youngest son (25) is a beautiful soul, he is gentle, has a very calm nature, is a great partner to his girlfriend and a buddy wonderful new father to his new little daughter. He has been with his partner for 2 years. He had moved to another state, after being raised by me only, to spend some time with his father, within 3 months he met his current partner and had moved in with her. I flew over after 6 months to catch up with him and meet her, she seemed lovely and doted on him. What more as a mother could I ask for? They decided after a year to return to our home state. She had been raised in a very violent and abusive home and wanted to have a new start. I paid for their relocation, flights etc.. They had been here just over 3 months and she fell pregnant. Things changed dramatically from that moment. She forbids my son to see his sister and young nephew. There was no arguement, my daughter simply would not be at her beck and call. This then extended to my neice, then me. She vented all of her anger on a popular social page, adding derogitory comments about my family, knowing we all had access to her comments. We all discussed not reacting to her nastiness and each time it blew over, she even told me that she would not be allowing any of my son's family to have anything to do with the baby. She would apologise till ......the next time. It was a long 9 months of pregancy.. She then seemed much better after the baby was born. She then took ill unexpectedly after 2 weeks and had to have surgey. I flew to where they lived the same night, (I live 4 hours away). I looked after my granddaughter, bought her all that she needed, filled her food cupboards, cooked and stored meals for her return. Upon her return home she once again commenced this attack online to her family and friends describing how horrible we all were and that no one here offered help or support to her. Again we ignored it even though it hurt us all. She now has sent my daughter more abuse as and told her that her daughter was too good for this family. On my visit this last weekend she brought it up and was telling me lies over something that had been said supposedly by my daugher, against my initial annoyance, I did not fly to my daughter's defence and decided to take the higher ground. She sent me a message after I left to say she no longer will let me see my granddaughter.. I have tried to speak to my son but he believes everything she says, he won't speak to me.
I simply cannot do this anymore!! I dearly love my son and my granddaughter but how much is enough. I feel like I bite my lip all the time with her, she apologises and for my son and granddaughter I let it go. She speaks to me with no respect when she is having a "moment", she has shouted at me so often, I am simply done. I can't live like this anymore, I am so hurt by my son that he just allows this to go on and on. She has disrespected his whole family in some shape or form and yet to keep the peace he says nothing. I don't want to lose my son and granddaughter but I really believe people treat you how you let them treat you. I have cried an ocean over this situation and feel emotionally spent. I have been a good mother but now question if I have not done something right, my son is a good man, yet he stands by and watches and says nothing? I would be grateful of any advice any member can offer.. I just feel so alone and battered (emotionally).