Author Topic: I need some help getting over this.  (Read 4848 times)

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Offline Pen

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #30 on: August 12, 2011, 08:27:46 AM »
Oh, and DIL started doing the same...we gave her fantastic gifts, the same $$$ or more that we gave DS & DD, but she gave me obvious re-gifts. Both DIL & SM are loaded (we're not.) Now DS buys our gifts, and he makes a big point of saying "This is from me." It's interesting to see how they are manuevering around this stuff. Can't wait for Christmas, lol.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
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Offline pam1

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2011, 08:36:03 AM »
Pen, you have such a good sense of humor about it, send some my way!  I'm glad your DS took over gifts.  My DH seemed to think that once we said "I Do" that I would take over doing the "womans work" like buying gifts and such.  To be honest, I don't mind a lot of stuff, I am better at it :)  (look at me on my high horse haha)  But I think it means a lot more to MIL for DH to pick it out, even if it is not the perfect gift ever. 

I can't figure out how much of the gifts are on purpose or just bad gifters.  I know a lot of people who are just bad at gifts, period. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pooh

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #32 on: August 12, 2011, 09:13:57 AM »
Again, we have to admit it's in the "spirit" of the giving, not the actual gift. 

My Mother always gets me a nice gift and then I get tons of "free with purchase" gifts from her.  She doesn't wear makeup, her ears are not pierced and she has no need for "bags" of any sort because she has a couple and doesn't want anymore.  She only likes Charlie perfume, never wears anything in her hair so I benefit from it!  I get colognes, makeup and girly stuff that I normally wouldn't spend the money on myself.  There have been some of them that have been donated that I just didn't like but the majority of them, I love!

Had my XMIL only given me a "free with purchase" by itself, it wouldn't be about the gift, it would be about the "spirit" of it.  My Mother's "spirit" is pure and she knows I enjoy them and actually probably goes out of her way to purchase things that have the freebies more with thoughts of me.  My XMIL would have bought her something she wanted and as an afterthought gave me the freebie just to say she gave me something.



We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Scoop

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2011, 10:22:11 AM »
Get this, my lovely SIL (she's a peach, I really do love her to bits) just bought into a "gift" type store in her (and the IL's) town.  So now, DH just calls his sister and says "Put together a bunch of stuff for Mom." SO - DH gets a free ride on PICKING the gift (he still PAYS), MIL gets something she likes (SIL pays attention) AND she gets it on time for her occasion, and SIL gets the business.  It's perfect.  It makes me SO happy.

I was hoping it would go both ways and MIL would have SIL send me something from her shop.  Because, did I mention? SIL rocks!  However, this hasn't happened yet.  Sigh.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #34 on: August 12, 2011, 10:34:06 AM »
Well, how fun is that?! I would ask her to put together a package every so often to you from you but saying it's from her! Your equalizer! I get flowers like that. I send them to myself (well, I actually get them at the store where I buy groceries)…and I say to myself that there's a card saying "Guess who?" Why not?! 8)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Pooh

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #35 on: August 12, 2011, 10:50:01 AM »
Get this, my lovely SIL (she's a peach, I really do love her to bits) just bought into a "gift" type store in her (and the IL's) town.  So now, DH just calls his sister and says "Put together a bunch of stuff for Mom." SO - DH gets a free ride on PICKING the gift (he still PAYS), MIL gets something she likes (SIL pays attention) AND she gets it on time for her occasion, and SIL gets the business.  It's perfect.  It makes me SO happy.

I was hoping it would go both ways and MIL would have SIL send me something from her shop.  Because, did I mention? SIL rocks!  However, this hasn't happened yet.  Sigh.

Now that's what I call a WIN-WIN for everyone!  I'm with Luise.  Order something for yourself from yourself and know that you get something great and that SIL gets business! 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: I need some help getting over this.
« Reply #36 on: August 12, 2011, 11:05:00 AM »
Yup…To me from me with love…especially MIL's deep affection for me (no matter how well hidden!)  :)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama