What goes around !

[Keys Girl]

LL, please take care of yourself.

If they don't have a backup plan, it's because they are leaning on you.  They are adults, if they aren't standing on their own two feet it's because they know you won't let them be homeless, although that's their responsibility.

Have as much fun as possible, but remember, if they don't have Plan B, it's because they choose not to.  They are parents and could step up to the plate (if they had to) and get a place of their own.

Enjoy your GC and have as much as possible, but please keep your own health as Plan A+, keep some notes, write a movie screenplay and make $$$.

[lancaster lady]

Thankyou KG for your kindness ......my DS did have his own house but due to the economic climate,plus a wedding ,had to give his house up ..this was his home and he will always be welcome  even more so now .

[amflautist]

Wow, LL, you have a full heart.  I can only hope mine would be as full, and I would be as gracious, should the need arise.  You are a treasure!

[luise.volta]

We're all a little overprotective. Could be worse! 

[Kennedy]

Hi LL,
  I don't know if you remember me? My 1st post here was about my worries over this same issue. I just wanted to chime in with the others and tell you that I think you are a wonderful Mom and Grandma for helping them like this.

Our Son and family stayed with us a few months until they were able to move into a rental that my DH paid for to help them out. We are helping them repair their home from Tornado damage done last November.
Anyhow the work has really moved along a lot faster than we had thought and they will probably be moving home in another month. So happy for them!

I was VERY NERVOUS about them staying here for many reasons but I was careful (On purpose) not to step on "Parenting"toes. And just relaxed as much as I could. I really think we made it thru okay. As far as my feelings go we are fine like before and best I can tell my Son and DIL feel the same. So it can be done for a short time it seems. And luck may of played a part? But we made it okay it seems.

Money causes more issues and more family pain "IMO" than anything else in life. In your shoes I'd be slightly aware that your DS and DIL may have fusses while staying with you because of the stress? Maybe they won't? Just try to prepare yourself in case. Try to not hear it.. LOL If you should over hear it? I'd try to pretend I didn't. LOL

In my case I caught myself right off wanting to give my opinion about the grandchild. Sleep time, food, bath ect. That is NONE of bees Wax! LOL But I was really trying to be aware of ME not really so much them and I did catch myself and said nothing unless asked then said very little.
Anytime there is more than one family in a home its hard. We all just do things different. I don't care if your son only moved out 6months ago he will be different. So just brace yourself. And if you pray? Do it a lot! LOL HUGS

[lancaster lady]

Thankyou Kennedy ......its good to hear your own experience .I know it will be  difficult ,but forewarned is forearmed so they say . My DS is 33 so has.been away from home for many years .I hope he is mature enough to overcome any  differences of opinion , and also realise there have to be compromises on both sides . I hope like you we can get through this and still be ok  ,bearing in mind we have a wedding to get through !  As far as my GD is concerned , I always ask before doing anything with her ,I.know who the momma bear is ,and when to use that zipper ......lol        Today is the day .........I plan to take my GD to the beach to escape the.hustle ....weather and permissions granted of course ......you'll be hearing from me no doubt ,maybe in the middle of the night  when peace reins .....lol

[lancaster lady]

Reigns.......need to get a.moby that can spell.....

[RedRose]

LL,

The fact that my son's family moved in with me is how I found this site...I was looking for help.

My Son, wife and my grandchild stayed with me 2 times...once for 3 months and about a year later for 6 months.Both times it was for financial reasons. All I wanted to do was help them with a place to live til they got back on their feet. You would be wise to set up boundaries and stick by them..all must remember this is your home and they are guests. Relationships can go from good to horrible in a flash.

Scoop made some really good points.

My DIL did not work during this time and I work at night..so..we were together during the day. During this time is when I found out how controling my DIL is. I gave up my TV for my DIL..she did nothing else. After 2 weeks, I finally told my son...they need to clean up after themselves, and we would have to share the cost of food and DIL would have to cook at least 2 times a week. I never said anything about my grandson because then it would be considered interfering..they once put him in time out and I looked at him and another time I jumped to see if he was OK when he ran into a wall and hit his head. She would threaten with us never seeing our grandson numerous times.

I looked forward to the weekends when they would stay sometimes with her parents.

My DIL almost turned my teenage daughter against my husband and me..and that was the last straw. I asked them to leave.

They were together about a half a year or so longer...they are now divorced.

[Pen]

LL, best of luck to you! The beach sounds amazing, I'm ready to move in myself, LOL. I guess we all care about you so much we want to be sure you have strategies in place to deal with the unpleasantness we all hope will not come to pass, if that makes any sense. My wish is that you are able to enjoy spending this time with your family, especially GC. Take care!

[Rose799]

My wish is that when ds & dil leave, you'll have nothing but happy stories to share with us, LL.  With your spunk & sense of humor, I think you may just pull it off~  Enjoy that baby...!     

[lancaster lady]

With all you ladies beside me , I can't fail !!
closing my eyes to all the boxes and packing cases as we speak ......
GD and I had fun in the bath ...her not me ....we sang duck songs ...and splashed a lot !

[Barbie]

LL, I wish you all the luck in the world, it's not going to be easy at times but you're doing the right thing. If I were in your position I'd do it too, I could never say no to any of my kids specially if in need but I must admit I would be a very unhappy camper, now that all my kids have moved out and I've had a taste of having the run of the house again, I wouldn't want to have anyone living with me. Try to focus on your GD and let everything else slide and hopefully time will go by fast and you'll feel good knowing you helped them out and if you're in need of advice or just want to vent you can always come here.
                                             ((((Hugs))))

[lancaster lady]

Two Days In :

I am beginning to see why they are in the state they are in ...!
I'm going to need a huge ZIP with a padlock for this old mouth !!....lol

[Pooh]

Ha ha ha....you can do this!  I bet it is very obvious to you why they are in their shape, but I bet they don't have a clue?

[dvg]

LL, hope it is going well with them being there!