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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


~~Miracles Happen~~Just Believe

Started by Faithlooksup, February 28, 2011, 03:55:48 PM

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TheBlues

Hello. This is my first time on this and yours is the first that I opened as I, too, so believe in miracles and I never give up.   I do not understand why our children make some of the choices they do. I am very happy for you and your family and hope that the relationship continues in a positive direction. 

    I am also curious because in your blogs you mentioned about bi-polar (I don't really know much about it). My daughter had gone to see a counselor some time back (during the divorce between her dad and I -we were married for 27 years-all took it hard). Anyway, the counselor sort-of diagnosed/implied that my daughter had some bi-polar tendencies.  But in any case, I wish to submit my question to you and hope, with your optimism, that you would reply.  I appreciate any advice you offer.
   
Question: My 20 year old daughter who is now living with her boyfriend in another state-who doesn't call me because according to her boyfriends' call to me 8 months ago, "I stress her out".  The reality is that my daughter has accumulated bills, traffic tickets that she didn't pay (her drivers license has been revoked due to non-payment of tickets)and now (as I still get her mail here as she doesn't have a "real" address)I see that her car insurance hasn't been paid (yes I opened it).  It is due to terminate in a few days. Of course, the protective mother in me wants to pay the $80.00 to keep up her insurance, but my practical side tells me that until she hits rock bottom she will never become a financially responsible adult. I did stress her as I often had asked if she wanted me to help her pay her tickets.  She had always told me, no Mom, I'll take care of it. What do I do?  My own mom (and my friend) has passed away a year ago.  I do not speak with my ex husband and he doesn't speak to me either.  I need guidance.

Thank you.

Pooh

Welcome TheBlues and so sorry for you DD troubles.  I know you phased your question to Faith and she will give you great insight.  Just wanted you to know that Faith has spells where she doesn't have time to get on for a few days or even a few weeks.  Just wanted you to know that in case she doesn't respond for a few days.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell