WWU Joke Mission

[Pooh]

I actually did the corn flake joke last year!

[Pooh]

Ok, thought I would let you in on the verdict, since I have a full blown rehearsal tonight.  First, ladies...thanks for your help.  Scoop, I gave your "blonde capitals" joke to Nurse Goodbody to use...she loved it!

My friend found this one and I laughed because I substituted the original names for our local Sheriff, Mayor and a County Commissioner (yep, I'll be in trouble again).

The Sheriff, Mayor XXXX and Commissioner XXXXX were traveling to a conference together.

They got lost, it was starting to get dark and they needed to find a place to sleep. They came across a farm and asked the farmer there if they could spend the night. He said, "That's fine, but my guest room is only big enough for two people. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."

The Sheriff said, "I don't mind. I will take the barn."

So they all agreed and went to their rooms.  About an hour later, there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the Sheriff. "There is a chicken in there that won't stop clucking! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

The Mayor got up and said, "I'll sleep in the barn. I'm used to the country noises."

They all agreed and traded places. About an hour later, there was a knock at the guest room door, and there stood the Mayor. "I can't stand the odor from that cow in there anymore. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

"Well, I guess that leaves me," said Commissioner XXXXX.

So he went to sleep in the barn. About an hour later, there was a knock at the guest room door, and there stood the chicken and the cow.

[Pen]

Love it!

[luise.volta]

An Italiona Boy's Confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'..

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
So you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
And his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

[Rose799]

[Pooh]

Ha ha ha...that's bad! 

[luise.volta]

What a compliment...bad at 84! I love it! 

[Rose799]

BBBBad to the bone, Luise!   

Here's my addition:

http://www.yousaytoo.com/a-woman-was-sitting-at-a-bar-enjoying/390458

[Pooh]

Hee Hee!

[Pooh]

I have to tell ya'll, I didn't realize how "risky" Minnie Pearl was with her jokes all those years on Hee Haw.  I guess because I was a child that I didn't get her jokes.  Our Minnie Pearl orders all of the real Minnie Pearls tapes, books and joke books and uses them.  Most of them, are pretty scandalous.

We try to keep things very family oriented and clean, but we do get a little borderline at times.  Our Minnie tells some of her "risky" ones that have to be approved by our grand leader!  Lol.  This is my favorite ones she is telling this year:

An elderly lady was sitting in her room in the nursing home when one of the male residents wandered in.  She said "Hey Luther, what are you doing?"  He replied, "Just out for a walk."   She smiled at him and said, "If you take all your clothes off, I can tell you how old you are."  He gasps but says, "No you can't."  She nods at him, "Really, I can.  But you have to remove everything."

So he shrugs and starts disrobing slowly.   When he finally has everything off, he stands there waiting.  She stares at him, looking him up and down for a minute before smiling, "You're 92."

He looks shocked and says, "Oh my goodness.  I am 92.  How do you do that?"

She shrugs and smiles, "You told me yesterday."

[luise.volta]

Luther said would never tell on me! 

[o.b.sikhquus]

Who else isn't telling? 

[luise.volta]

[Pen]

Pooh, how was your show? Wasn't it this weekend?

[Pooh]

It went wonderful but I am exhausted!  I always am.  We do 3 shows, Thursday - Friday - Saturday and now I have Hee Haw hangover....

It is always well worth it and is so much fun.  Our grand total was $24,317 raised for the Cancer Society!  Woo Hoo!  Thanks for asking Pen.