Essential/Non essential

[FAFE]

I think that some of us get put in those categories by our adult children.  When they need us, we should be on the front lines, but when we're not needed - for whatever purpose - we become non essential to them.  Therefore, when we become essential to them again, all is well in their world.  Just thinking out loud.

[luise.volta]

...and it was hard for me at first to know when to fulfill or even help with a "need" and when to step back and get that it was theirs to deal with. Sometimes it's still a Catch 22. Sending love...

[justus]

Yes, Louis, that is the hard part. DH is still a little too eager to save SD, but he is getting better at hesitating, at not returning her calls right away and often the problem really isn't a problem by the time he does call.

[dvg]

FAFE, I sometimes think my daughter looks at me that way.  She expects me to be there when she needs me.  When I was away for work not long ago, she wanted me to come home right away because she and her half brother were not getting along.  Now that they are, she wants me to stay away from them.

When she wants money, she lets me know right away.  When she doesn't want anything, she says she's through with me.  Sometimes I wonder if she thinks of me as a walking credit card.  Time to tell her that if she wants to be an adult, I will treat her as one in every way, including financially.  Sorry for venting.

[luise.volta]

We're here to listen and to care dvg. Sending love...