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Text message to my husband from SIL

Started by QuietStorm, June 15, 2011, 11:03:06 pm

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DH shared with with me as soon as it was sent.  We don't speak to SIL unless we have to and when we do have to be in the same place as her we keep our conversations as short and cordial as possible.  We have a long horrible history with her and would rather keep the peace than get overly involved in each other's lives.  We've been very busy lately and have not had much time to spend with DH's family because of one thing or another, but we've invited MIL and FIL to our new home next weekend (not Father's Day weekend) to spend some time with us (DH's family including SIL live 4 hrs away).

The Text is as follows:

"We are going to dinner for father's day at 4, you need to be here. There's no excuse, if anything your wife can spend with her dad and you with yours if need be"

IDK when she started calling me "wife" as DH and I have been married for 3 years and together for 9 total, but okay.  We decided together it was better not to respond to her frankly very rude text.  We're on the fence as to whether or not to tell MIL about it and what to do really about the whole thing - ideas? This is the first thing she's said to either of us since December.


Unless you're planning to go to SIL's dinner, (which it does not seem to be you are) I would ignore it.  This is the first time you heard from SIL since December.  I agree it would be rude if it wasn't so funny:  There's no excuse?  No, there's not.

I wouldn't involve MIL in anything about SIL's text.  MIL is not who invited you to dinner or wrote this to you.  "Telling Mom on her" is how to make yourself part of he drama SIL may be trying to initiate.  Let it go.  Enjoy your visit with MIL and FIL at your new home the following weekend.


Welcome QuietStorm :)

I'd probably not respond, hit delete and move on.  SIL is not in charge and it didn't sound like an invitation but an order.  Not cool.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift


Welcome QuietStorm.  If you haven't already done so, please read the "Modified Forum Agreement" in the "Open Me First" category.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you posted, we just ask all new posters to read it so they are familiar with the forum rules.

I'm with the other ladies, I wouldn't respond.  I wouldn't go and I wouldn't tell MIL/FIL about it.  You had already been making plans with them, and since SIL has not talked to you since December, and sent such a hateful text, you owe her no explaination.  That was not communication, that was an order.  If she says something to MIL/FIL about it, then they will be able to answer, "Well, we knew they were not doing anything with us this weekend because they invited us to come next weekend.  We've been talking to them."  Personally, I think that will get her worse than anything you could say.

Have a great visit with MIL and FIL and don't worry about her.  It's her problem.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell


QuietStorm, welcome. I'm with the others. Responding will only be turned around on you and your DH somehow. If you don't respond, the wind will be taken out of her sails when you and the ILs have a great visit next week. Enjoy!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb