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My mother

Started by SassyDI, May 11, 2011, 06:47:15 PM

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AnonymousDIL

Maybe she is trying to change. People are capable of changing sometimes.  :-\

SassyDI

Quote from: AnonymousDIL on May 12, 2011, 10:46:38 AM
Maybe she is trying to change. People are capable of changing sometimes.  :-\

OMG your actually defending her.  Calling 21 times alone on my cell phone not including my house and DH's cell phone in one day  is not trying to change.  this is normal Mother hen mode for her.

AnonymousDIL

I'm just saying that there are always two sides to a situation. Sometimes it can be beneficial to try to see things from the other person's perspective. The ladies here taught me that. If I didn't learn to view things from my MIL's perspective, she and I still wouldn't get along.

Rose799

Quote from: SassyDI on May 12, 2011, 10:45:28 AM
She doesn't say she is sorry she likes to just drop things

Might it be that your dm considers it sort of equal, as you also hung up on her?  I'm just playing devil's advocate here...  :)

SassyDI

Quote from: Rose799 on May 12, 2011, 11:29:26 AM
Quote from: SassyDI on May 12, 2011, 10:45:28 AM
She doesn't say she is sorry she likes to just drop things

Might it be that your dm considers it sort of equal, as you also hung up on her?  I'm just playing devil's advocate here...  :)

Equal to what?  And explain how else to get off the phone if one person won't say goodbye even as you are telling them good bye.

SassyDI

Futher why are you ladies standing up for a woman who is kicking me when I am done.  Sure there are two sides to every story but she kept telling me mean things when i was vaunable I don't care what her side is its wrong to do that to someone no matter what her side is.

LaurieS

Sassy, there is no reason to jump adil and Rose ... you are on a site which is based on people giving their opinions.. just because someone else is seeing something differently then you it should not be assumed that they are siding against you.  I've read your postings since day one and I don't know maybe only to me, it appears that you are not here for any  kind of input, only validation to your feelings.  If anyone says anything that even resembles a different point of view, you are quick to declare that they are speaking out against you. 

Rose799

Quote from: SassyDI on May 12, 2011, 11:40:16 AM
Equal to what?  And explain how else to get off the phone if one person won't say goodbye even as you are telling them good bye.
[/quote]

Equal to both parties feeling wronged/offended?  I don't know how the conversation went; but I might say something like, "Mom, I'm too upset right now but I'll call you back in a day or two?"   I'm not saying you were wrong, SassyDI, I just dislike estrangements between dm's/dd's.  Been there, done that...I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

holliberri

SassyDI,

Everyone is going to have a different opinino about your situation. I think you can expect a healthy dose of opinions divergent from your own if you're posting on a board where none of us have ever met before.

LaurieS

Even in real life.. no one should be expected to be a "yes man" and when we/they aren't there is no reason to take such offense. 

Rose has been nothing but supportive of EVERYONE on these boards, and I'd like to say thank you Rose, you really are a sweet smellin lady :) 

SassyDI

Quote from: Laurie on May 12, 2011, 11:51:29 AM
Sassy, there is no reason to jump adil and Rose ... you are on a site which is based on people giving their opinions.. just because someone else is seeing something differently then you it should not be assumed that they are siding against you.  I've read your postings since day one and I don't know maybe only to me, it appears that you are not here for any  kind of input, only validation to your feelings.  If anyone says anything that even resembles a different point of view, you are quick to declare that they are speaking out against you.

Its the way it comes across like poor mom mean daughter.  And its more to do with one poster who seems to follow me around its her wording more then anything.  Futher Holly said some things I haven't agreed with all together but its her approuch to it that I respect.

Rose799

Thanks Laurie.  Maybe it's due to my personal experience from both sides of the fence.  : )

Dm was unhappy because the $90 orchid I sent to her for M.D. was larger than she was prepared to receive - as though I should have known. 

I was afraid to give dd a gift for M.D., as I have been told in the past that she is not my mother... 

Shoot me, shoot me now...


Rose799

Quote from: SassyDI on May 12, 2011, 12:01:46 PM
Its the way it comes across like poor mom mean daughter.

Not to me; you come across as overwhelmed dd, who could use dm's help & understanding.  If you'd like to send dm here, I'd be happy to relay that to her, also...  I'm sorry SassyDI, right now, I'd just like to give you a hug.

LaurieS

Rose seldom can you truly win

And Sassy... I'm not following you around and I don't think anyone else here either. And I don't get where you are seeing anyone posting anything along the lines of "Poor Mom" or "Mean Daughter" but if you choose to perceive it as such, then  so be it. 

It's like a child, if you spend a year telling her that Uncle Jack sexually molested her, then in her mind he did and you'll never convince her otherwise.. if you are determined to hear Mean Daughter at every posting then Mean Daughter it is. It's all in your power.

SassyDI

Quote from: Rose799 on May 12, 2011, 12:12:47 PM
Quote from: SassyDI on May 12, 2011, 12:01:46 PM
Its the way it comes across like poor mom mean daughter.

Not to me; you come across as overwhelmed dd, who could use dm's help & understanding.  If you'd like to send dm here, I'd be happy to relay that to her, also...  I'm sorry SassyDI, right now, I'd just like to give you a hug.

Sadly I don't think it will help when I was a teenager my parents forced me into therphy because I wasn't according to them acting like I should.  I have always been the outspoken one who thinks different then they do.  When the therpist would talk to me parents about things they both wouldn't listen.  And the therpist finally said sorry I can't help you anymore because you won't listen.  Its always been this way with her. 

It hurts my DH very deeply when she uses the "You choose to marry someone in a wheelchair defense."  She knows it bother's us and yet she does it anyway.  She is like that even if she agrees with me on something when she mad she will use it and act like she doesn't agree and say hurtful things.