FDIL said she won.

[overwhelmed123]

Again unknown, being that you're new, you don't know the history of this situation.  So it's probably best for you to sit this one out instead of judging unfairly.  I don't think it would be fair to muffin to rehash her entire situation.  Once you've been here for awhile and become acquainted, you'll know everyone's stories.  That is, if you decide this place is for you.  From what I've read, I think that is questionable.  You seem very defensive for never posting here before.

[Unknown]

@ Anonymous sometimes relationships cant be saved. But maybe there is hope for this one.

[AnonymousDIL]

Respect is a two-way street. The FDIL should be respecting her as well. The world would be a much better place if everyone would just show each other a little respect and forgiveness....

[luise.volta]

Unknown - I am going to ask you not to post anything further until you have had a chance to interact with your Board Moderator, Holly. Thank you.

[Unknown]

Thanks Luise I already talked to Holly.

[holliberri]

Unknown,

I mentioned in the other board you posted on to review our Forum Agreement. I also mentioned to read some of the stories on here first. Muffin, in particular, has been very forward and specific with details and has also said she wanted to vent. This is not a place for attacking, and she was only looking for some sort of support.

I can edit/remove posts and I can also recommend deletion of an account. I hope that isn't necessary. If you can not objectively state your opinion about this without making it personal, please do not post.  I'm sure you have noteworthy experience you can rely on to give advice, as opposed to making assumptions about what the original poster has or  hasn't done to her FDIL.

You are coming in here on the defense; that's the only reason why people are being curt with you. People disagreeing with you is by no means attacking.

[themuffin]

Just returned from lunch and saw this.  Thanks to ADIL and OW and JustUs and Luise for defending me in my absence.    It felt like a warm hug! 

Okay...I have to say YIPPEE!!!!  This place is so good for the soul.  A week or two ago I would have been so upset to read Unknown's remarks.  But because of this site, because of all of you ladies  I am already so much stronger and open minded.   

[SassyDI]

How do you read past stories?

[luise.volta]

Wonderful endorsement, TM! 

[AnonymousDIL]

How do you read past stories?

If you click on the person's name it brings up their profile on the lower left side it says "show posts." Then you can see everything they've posted in the past.

[Keys Girl]

Themuffin, there's an old saying, "Do what you can with what your have where you are".

It hasn't really been very long since they left your home if I'm reading these posts properly.  Their emotions are still pretty intense, I'll bet.  I would take the time away from them to concentrate on your own life, and move on.  Given that your son was reluctant to pay for rent when he was at your home but is paying it now, it doesn't speak well to his sense of responsibility for standing on his own two feet.  It's very sad, but sometimes as far as I'm concerned ya gotta kick them baby birds outa the nest and let them fly for themselves.  I speak from experience here, my son and future DIL cut off contact last year and it was agony for the first couple of months.  It's pretty quiet now and I've grown fond of the peace and quiet and no blame shifting and squabbling.  It's not really what I had envisioned for his future but some times you don't get what your ordered in the "Big Restaurant of Life". 

Good luck and like the English say "Keep calm and carry on".

[Rose799]

Themuffin, there's an old saying, "Do what you can with what your have where you are".

I don't know if it's the situation with dd, or things in the news in recent weeks, but I'm feeling pretty low lately.  How do move forward when you have no motivation? 

[pam1]

Beer.

Ok, just kidding.  When I get really low I start taking a look at my 'Bucket List'  Do you have one? 

[alohomora]

Muffin,

From a DIL perspective, maybe I can offer some advice here if you choose to try and work towards a better relationship.

Given that there were already hard feelings between the two of you, stopping by their house unannounced wasn't a good idea. Doing it once and getting the door slammed in your face should have been a good indicator that you weren't welcomed. The home belongs to both of them - who pays rent there doesn't concern you and shouldn't come into question - its both their homes. I understand why you went the first time, being unable of communicating with your son. And he was clearly happy to see you despite your issues. That's great.

But showing up again, for whatever reason, unannounced, and in such a short period of time...bad idea. Sounds like you knew the reaction you'd get.

As for your DIL...well her comments to you are rude and childish. She's clearly engaged in full on drama mode. Best to avoid her for the time being.

If I was her...right now what I'd want from you is maybe an apology for invading their space, maybe let them know you love them and will not be coming by again unannounced, that your door is open, that sort of thing.

Its frustrating, I know, having to bite your tongue. But I know from experience, I too was like your DIL. And my MIL was overly aggressive and meddlesome until we had to go into a two year cut off. That was over five years ago. We now have a very close relationship, and love and respect each other. Growing pains sometimes, just hurt.

[Rose799]

No, no bucket list...  Maybe that's the problem, I'm not thinking big enough.  Skydiving?  Pole dancing?  Mud wrestling?  For now, believe I'll stick with beer/wine... : )   

Thanks, Pam