FDIL said she won.

[lancaster lady]

 

[themuffin]

Hey Guys,

Just got home, two hour commute!  Soon as I got settled I checked in here and I must say!!

I ADORE MOONCHILD!!!!

Oh, how I wish DS was just a fraction like you.  The situation with DS is complicated.  I try to analyze it but it doesn't make sense.  DS changed when we moved.  He was in his last year of HS.  We actually held off the move so he could graduate at his HS with his friends, but he didn't make the grade and had to do an additional year.  He seemed to adjust very well to the move. He was popular with girls and had guy friends.  He got his first car and he when he graduated HS he got a job and started college.  He seemed happy.  But...he had a curfew which he didn't like, but other than that life was good.  Than FDIL entered the picture and I saw DS begin to change.  He weren't really carrying him financially.  We did help to make it so his bills were less, like adding him to our insurance, getting him a phone on our account, but he paid for those services.  When he started falling behind in his bills (college, credit cards,overdraft fees) I became his accountant, so to speak.  He would give me a portion of his check to put away so that he could make his bills on time. It was going very well.  He got spending money and if he wanted extra he simply asked.  He even had a nice savings account.  Never did I take one red cent of his money and he knew this. I just helped him manage it.  FDIL resented this.

Around the time he and FDIL became serious he said that some changes were going to be made.  And than he sat us down and said that it was his money and he wanted it.  I told him he always had it.  He said he didn't want me to help him any more.  We said fine. 

He went completely backward.  His savings became negative $748. He would use his bank card to rent a $1 redbox movie and pay $34 in overdraft fees. He did that quite a few times. I pointed out he could have bought the movie, but hey, I'm only his mom. He stopped paying his college tuition and dropped out of school almost two years ago, he's still being billed; still not paying. He got credit cards and would never make a payment on time.  The late fees amounted to more than the debt he owed. I mean he was just making every bad choice you could make. He was getting all kinds of tickets and parking violations, not paying, additional fees were added. He was doing as bad as he could.  This is when he became indebted to FDIL.

Finally, he got fired from the job that he had for two years because he was eating food and not paying for it.  Something he knew he shouldn't do.  He ended up losing his job and having to pay them back for the goods. Before he got fired from this job he had the big falling out with his brother (they worked at the same place).  DS told all the co-workers brother was gay and a wierdo without friends.  He said many other things.  DS didn't know that these people actually liked brother and they were upset that DS would be so hurtful toward him. They told brother and he came to us because he was so hurt. That was the night  we called a family meeting to discuss it. DS went crazy!  He denied everything, but we all knew it was true (FDIL later confirmed it when she was upset with him after OW in bed).  He cursed at his father like a sailor and tried to attack him.  He also went to attack brother but dad stopped him.  He broke his bedroom door and then went to female co-worker house to confront her. Brother called her and told her not to open door.  He than went to male co-worker (his former best friend who dropped him when he saw was liar he was) and made a huge scene. This former friend lived with his pastor grandparents right across from the church they ran.  I was so ashamed.  He was cursing and acting like a person with no upbringing.  The pastor tried to comfort me.  He told me that he had treated DS as a son. DS had spent much time with them.  It was just such a sad situation.  At the end of this he still loved me, but it was dad who he had attacked.  This was the event that forced him to move.  A year later he had to come back.  It's been almost two years since he and his brother have spoken a word.....and well I've already told the rest.  I let DS and FDIL in our home and it was like I let in demons.  When they left it was like there was an exorcism.  The house is so peaceful...and yet this is not how I wanted peace. 

[themuffin]

Just had to update---I WON!!!

Well, son did not do the right thing with the insurance.  He did try and has a pending application with a new company, but they said they needed more info and he never provided it.  I explained our situation and they contacted him and told him he would be uninsured as of 12:01 am tomorrow and that for each day there was a fine.  Great, more coverage for my butt that he was notified, but no good for keeping our current policy. 

Anywhoo, called the back up company and had almost completed the process down to credit card info when they did the final step.  Guess what?!!!  All of DS Jr's accidents were showing under DH Sr's name!!!   Thus, the computer would not allow him to process our application until that was cleared.  Contacted current policy and was told they could send a letter.  No good.  System needs to updated, it can't read a letter.

So hubby and I were going to be without insurance.  I ask current company who was going to be liable for our laspe in coverage since it was them who mixed up DS and DH.  Well, after being transferred and placed on hold forever they decided to that due to all the notes in our file and the many years we've been with them, that they would renew our policy WITHOUT DS!!!!  I have his new address and new telephone number (which he doesn't know I have) the company he applied with has this info on file too if my company needed to verify. 

I am so WIRED right now I feel like I can bounce off the walls.  OMG, this is such a relief.  I think DS is screwed.  Other company was waiting on his driving history.  Ummm...it's very bad.  I know I should feel bad for him, but I just don't!   

[luise.volta]

Wonderful! What a weight off your shoulders! Good for you for not giving up! 

[themuffin]

Thanks Luise!!!  I haven't felt this good in weeks!!  I've been doing the happy dance at work.  I just hurt my back doing the cabage patch dance!

[Rose799]

I've been doing the happy dance at work.  I just hurt my back doing the cabage patch dance!

I'd like to see that!    Hopefully, those fines will get ds' attention.  No telling what's next; ds may start appreciating all you've been doing for him. 

[LaurieS]

Really like a giant Ahhhh moment

[Pooh]

Yay Muffin! I'm so glad you got all that straightened out!  You shouldn't feel bad for DS, he did it to himself.  Like Rose said, maybe he will learn.

[SassyDI]

Just had to update---I WON!!!

Well, son did not do the right thing with the insurance.  He did try and has a pending application with a new company, but they said they needed more info and he never provided it.  I explained our situation and they contacted him and told him he would be uninsured as of 12:01 am tomorrow and that for each day there was a fine.  Great, more coverage for my butt that he was notified, but no good for keeping our current policy. 

Anywhoo, called the back up company and had almost completed the process down to credit card info when they did the final step.  Guess what?!!!  All of DS Jr's accidents were showing under DH Sr's name!!!   Thus, the computer would not allow him to process our application until that was cleared.  Contacted current policy and was told they could send a letter.  No good.  System needs to updated, it can't read a letter.

So hubby and I were going to be without insurance.  I ask current company who was going to be liable for our laspe in coverage since it was them who mixed up DS and DH.  Well, after being transferred and placed on hold forever they decided to that due to all the notes in our file and the many years we've been with them, that they would renew our policy WITHOUT DS!!!!  I have his new address and new telephone number (which he doesn't know I have) the company he applied with has this info on file too if my company needed to verify. 

I am so WIRED right now I feel like I can bounce off the walls.  OMG, this is such a relief.  I think DS is screwed.  Other company was waiting on his driving history.  Ummm...it's very bad.  I know I should feel bad for him, but I just don't!   

He's a grown adult if his record is bad thats on him and you shouldn't feel bad.  And you shouldn't have him on your policy even more if he is a bad driver.  Hopefully this will teach him how to stand on his own two feet.

[AnonymousDIL]

YAY!!!! MUFFIN!!! Whoop! Whoop! *Happy Danicing*

[LaurieS]

I'm always all for the big party and celebration, but all I can feel is sadness and empathy for your son.  He has done this to himself and it's his responsibility to handle the best he can.  I'm a firm believer in reality checks, but I just have this nagging feeling that this, does a party not make.

[Rose799]

How old is your son, Muffin?  Are either of them working? 

[Sassy]

Hooray for you Muffin.  Getting someone off a car insurance policy that you've been paying for, that he has known for a long time would expire on Friday the 13th and had every opportunity to prepare for ... is indeed something to celebrate.  Freedom for him to fly as he wishes, and freedom for you to fly without that resentment of feeling taken advantage of.  I feel your victory.

Now if Holly's name and credit line can come off off her MIL's business credit card account to free up Holly's own hard-earned good credit line for her own use, I will do a double happy dance.  DH and I both have credit alerts set up because we anticipated my own MIL trying to do something along those lines, and she did.  We had it shut down before it went through, and we did not press charges...

[holliberri]

I am glad you don't have to worry about him being on your insurance anymore, Muffin. I am sad for your son, however. I hope he is able to get things straightened out like a grown adult eventually...err...rather quickly, is more like it.

[AnonymousDIL]

Wow! The irony just hit me. It is expiring on Friday the 13th!