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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


My Troubled Daughter

Started by Winter04, May 06, 2011, 07:43:29 AM

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jill

Donna, loved your posts, you certainly are a wise lady :) :) :)......Jill

AnonymousDIL

Donna, if your intent was to make me cry, you succeeded! lol Beautiful post.

Nana

Yes...thank God we are having wonderful people join our forum....Luise's forum. 

Welcome Donna.

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Donna

Everyone is so inspirational, and has so much to share, brings so much love to this forum, so much understanding.  Luise was so wise in starting this - and to think duh it took me so long to get here.  I have to laugh as for all my life I was able to just listen to someone's woe and bango I knew the right words and how and where to point them.  All along my life had been a struggle, I could never fathom out my own issues and then I started to listen and study, and learned how to breathe when issues would arrise and not take the bait, that was definitely an incredible aid to help me, as then I would be able to stand back and see it from a different perspective, and be able to take my own ego out of the picture.  I believe in my first post, I was stunned that I had no tears no ability to cry, that I had reached a point of knowing the truth and acceptance, my only question was does this happen to others, and bless you Luise as I found out it happens to many.  I will be on this forum hopefully for a very long time, as I truly don't wish for anyone to struggle and feel unsupported as I did for years and years and years.  The easiest thing to do in life is smile, the most precious gift is love, and every one needs to be listened to, everyone needs to be heard, I hope I am around a long time to hear a lot of stories, and give my best to support all who come to this forum and all who pass through my life.  Kindness and Care to All

Dianna

Hello, I have been following this website for quite some time but have never posted.  That was until today, when I was moved by another new member, Donna.  Beautiful words flowed from your fingers capturing the pain that I have been forced to feel due to my distant child. I too am in awe of how inspirational this site is, as I have been reading postings forever.
Donna, your gift for words is enviable, if only I could express myself as clearly, I know a burden would be lifted from my heart. Please do continue to post as I felt that I am gaining enough strength from your words to venture forward with my own sad story. Thank you Donna, Thank you ladies.


Rose799

Welcome Dianna,

Thanks to Luise, we have this place to share, laugh & cry together...  Feel free to share your story whenever you're ready. 


holliberri

Welcome Dianna,

I'm so glad you have decided to join us! I hope that you have had a change to read the Forum Agreement under Open Me First. Just a formality. Again, welcome! I look forward to hearing your story! I'm sure you will fit in as easily as Donna has.

Pen

Welcome Dianna, I think you express yourself quite well. I'm sure you will be a wonderful addition to the site. I agree, Donna's post was beautiful.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Kennedy

Welcome Donna and Dianna,
Donna as the others have already said, I too have been deeply touched by your sweet and true words. I pray the Lord will always help you through the hard times. And I also sent up a prayer that you and your husband are blessed for helping others.
I too find great joy and fulfillment in helping others when I can. We had many tornado's in our surrounding areas last month and the total deviation is to much to understand. We have been out trying to help in any way we can every weekend and some week days. I feel such a blessing from doing the small things I'm able to do.
Believe me when I say that I am a thousand times more blessed from doing than those I try to do for.
I understand about some children being takers like you were talking about also. I think we each have to do what we feel is right for us at the time. I pray for you all the strength you need.
Since finding this site myself I have felt so much better and understood than I was! There are some very kind and wise women here!
Many Blessing!! And welcome again to you both!

Donna

Dianna:

I am so glad you have been reading and somehow my words moved you to start by introducing yourself.  I was thinking earlier tonight that it was just two Sunday's ago, my husband wanted to take the boat out and get me out of the house as I was so devastated, but I would not go and plainly told him, honey I can't I will throw myself into the ocean, I feel so devastated so unneeded, so uncared for; I told him very honestly I was depressed, and it was a huge risk to even think of going.   It was a hard and difficult Sunday, following my DS telling me how he and his SS planned my early demise if my dear beloved husband were to get ill with the cancer they removed and pass away.  I was nauseated as he told me how he would sell my precious stone collections for a nickle a piece, but get all the good stuff.  Yes, I was insulted, hurt, and in terrible pain.  Somehow I managed through that Sunday, and made it through another week, and in that week great resolve through more actions came to me.  I am so glad you have been reading on this site, as I had not been, but when I found it, I was so amazed at how many stories, how many people share my grief, I was not alone.  Knowing this is not a singular journey is painful in knowing so many such as yourself Dianna suffer from Adult Children hurting you, and I would love to hear your story.  Sometimes to journal one's experiences, helps to put things in focus.  When you sit back and read it, it becomes real in your mind, instead of just hurting in your heart.  Pain Management has a lot to do with exchanging where the pain is with another stimulation, and as you know; our hearts are heavy and our pain is immense.  Transferring it all logically into your brain, may be a way to deal with it logically, a step at a time.  My heart reaches out to yours knowing you are hurting.  Tomorrow I am going fishing and there is no way, I'd slip off the boat.  There lies the difference between letting the pain in your heart lead you down the path, and allowing the logic of the situation to make step locks in your brain.   I hope to catch a beautiful salmon, and if it's female it will go back, as I believe there are also wise women in the ocean, and they too need a break.  Now when I think back to that Sunday, I realize how deadly adult children can be to their parent(s).  Ruthless - however, that's okay as I finally made that simple transfer from heart to brain, and am dealing with this with logic and common sense, wondering what I would tell another going through the same thing, and trying my best to follow my own advice to them.  Dianna give yourself a big hug, for being on this site and reading, and know you are supported by the many many wonderful wise women hear.  We need you too, we can be strong, but sometimes we may grow weak and so we need as many women as possible so they can get strong to be there for those who need them.  Loving and caring thoughts to you, caring and kindness, you deserve only the best.   My prayers will include I hope to hear more from you Dianna, and you have touched my heart.  Donna

Donna

Kennedy:

I know the tornadoes are devastating where you are, we see it on the news and my heart breaks when I see the lost, stunned looks, the pure sense of loss and confusion.  I applaud you for all that you can do to help, and yes, it is a blessing to do just a small thing, anything and what a wonderful feeling that is.  I find comfort in your words that you have been here for awhile on the site and you offer encouraging words to both Dianna and myself as we definitely need encouragement, and prayers, as do others.  It is true, we have to do what we feel at the time is right, as that is all we have to go by.   My energy and care will stretch out further now than it did before, I pray you stay safe and no tornadoes come to you.  Thank you for your words, this is a special special site, a forum of embracing love, where we can grow and learn and let go.  My thoughts and prayers are with you, thank you Kennedy.