March 28, 2024, 08:07:46 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Just something I've been thinking about

Started by overwhelmed123, April 27, 2011, 02:38:37 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Sheen

Hides mints behind back  Mints what mints   Can I interest you in a Swedish meatball maybe   lol

LaurieS

There is a store here called Ikea...it's all Swedish stuff including meatballs :)  For some reason Sheen the meatball as just a little lacking in the sweet department

Sheen

Ikea,  me as a non swede loves it, my swedish other half hates it. As far as the meatballs go, I never touch them.  I think I cooked them maybe the first month I lived here, one happen to drop on floor when I was putting them in a bowl and the darn thing bounced.  That was the end of my meatball days,  I refuse to eat food that bounces like one of those old time super balls   lol

lancaster lady

Hopefully the DIL that get a rough ride will.become the MIL they wished they had !  It will teach.them what NOT to do when they become  a MIL .  ....         ....  My MIL made.no effort  to get to know me .Not once did my kids receive a birthday card ,gift or acknowledgment whatsoever !  Why ? I have no idea ! No rows ,disagreements nothing to make her this way ...I hopefully have become the MIL she  was not .....  :)

Nana

Good point Lancaster Lady...

This brings some memories.  My mom was the sweetest lady and mon you could hope for.  But...at first hour in the morning she was in such a bad mood...yelling at us to hurry and get ready for school...she was so disgusting to my ears..... when we came back from school...she was a completely different person...all loving.  I promised myself that when I had children I would not repeat the same pattern.  Well I have news for you, I was just like my mom during the morning.  I did changed it...because my hubby ask me as a favor. (lol) .to not speak to him or the children when they woke up....that he would see that they were ready for school without freaking them.  I was so embarrased.  I was up but could not speak to any one in the family until they came back from school.  This took place for about a year and than I was permitted to speak to them softly or to shut my mouth lol.
So much as I hated it, I had become just like my mom. 

I now relate all this to the fact that I am a night person...not a day person...mornings are hard on me lol.


Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

AnonymousDIL

It is definitely a result of narcissitic personality disorder. My MIL has it (evil). Her daughter, my SIL has it (evil). My DB's wife has it (evil, but sweet to your face). And my mom's bf's daughter (14) has it (evil!).... So I definitely don't think it has anything to do with a title.

holliberri

ADil,

If all of those people have it...is it contagious?

pam1

Why is it when I think of a thin mint I get fat

I think difficult personalities are difficult no matter who they are in relation to someone else.  It's just easier to me when a difficult person isn't someone I have to interact with so much or that I can get away from.  Like at work, it's easy to walk away from someone.

It was a whole 'nother ball game learning how to deal with it in family.

I also think that there may just be growing pains and a new marriage may make a DIL or MIL appear a little crazy -- when really, they are both trying to navigate rocky waters.  It's almost like they need a year off after marriage lol
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

AnonymousDIL

I hope it isn't! lol

A year off after marraige sounds fabulous!

FAFE

I made a vow to myself when my children when they were little that I would like/respect their choice of spouses, etc.  I had a great example in my mother as she treated inlaws/outlaws with total respect - even if she did not agree with a lot of stuff that went on. 

One example of thinking of others before I act, is this is my DD's first year to be celebrating mother's day.  We are not going to be here to celebrate it with her.  I called her husband yesterday to see what he was planning on doing - he did not know yet, so I told him if he was not planning on sending her flowers, then we would do that.  I honestly think he was surprised that I would check with him.  I even asked his advice on a florist where they lived.  So, hopefully, I scored a few brownie points.  I do not want him to think I am competing with him, as that is the furtherest thing from my mind.

Some people are just plain mean and live to make life miserable for everyone around them, some people just pick on whoever is the most vulnerable.  I do have a mean streak and cannot for the life of me, just be mean for no reason whatsoever. 


overwhelmed123

LOL, Sassy I was not speaking about you at all.  In fact, I wasn't speaking about anyone who has commented on this board for awhile.  I was referring more to the stories I hear about DILs from the MILs on here.  Then I read something yesterday on another site that really just blew my mind.  I don't think anyone on here is awful!  I love you all.  :)

ADIL, how do you know so much about all these people's psychiatric history?  Seems like something they would want to keep private....


AnonymousDIL

Oh, I've diagnosed them. They all have too many of the classic "symptoms."

LaurieS

Quote from: AnonymousDIL on April 28, 2011, 07:00:13 AM
Oh, I've diagnosed them. They all have too many of the classic "symptoms."

Funny Adil

catchingup

Quote from: lancaster lady on April 28, 2011, 12:38:21 AM
Hopefully the DIL that get a rough ride will.become the MIL they wished they had !  It will teach.them what NOT to do when they become  a MIL .  ....         ....  My MIL made.no effort  to get to know me .Not once did my kids receive a birthday card ,gift or acknowledgment whatsoever !  Why ? I have no idea ! No rows ,disagreements nothing to make her this way ...I hopefully have become the MIL she  was not .....  :)
In my case I would agree that because of the way my MIL treated me I certainly will not follow in her footsteps.
She was a sergeant major in WW11 and sergeant majored everyone around her.
She was waited on hand and foot by a full time maid,char and gardener then added me to her servants as if I could not think for myself.
It was never please or thank you.I wasn't brought up like that.
My mother taught me manners and independance and my MIL thought everyone was subject to her approval.
i.e. One day we popped in there after work and as we sat down she said "You can go and make the tea"
I told her I was tired and had worked all day and she could make it herself. This was after submitting to her every wim and fancy for too long.
Then ofcourse I was the awful DIL.
If my son and DIL visit I shall make the tea.I would never make demands like that either.
She was a rude,ill-mannered woman with culture that existed only in her mind

tryingmybest

I think fear and insecurity have a lot to do with it.