I would have never gotten away with it.

[AnonymousDIL]

Pam, I bet she is one well-behaved young lady that people find to be a joy to have around.

It is that "entitled" attitude that is the biggest problem with any generation although it is way more commonplace now. How did this happen? Did suddenly all the parents take a snooze that their children who are now adults became this way? What can we do to prevent it from rolling into the next generation?

[luise.volta]

When you are present, it's your call. When you are not, its "Grandma's way" and don't expect it here! Sending love...

[Pen]

A friend of mine says that her DF was an extrememly strict disciplinarian while she was growing up but just as the OP stated he's been the opposite with his GC. She says he's "an old man trying to get into heaven."

Heck, parents have been known to lighten up the rules from one child to another. My younger sib didn't have the strict rules I had. Things change. But I agree that basic guidelines must be followed by all regular care providers for the sake of consistency, structure and safety. And in my house there may be a couple of new rules due to different circumstances. That is, if I ever get to have the GC here

Once at Starbuck's I pointed out to a 9+ yr old kid, who was repeatedly sliding his grimy hands down the window of a display case, that someone would have to come out and clean the glass so perhaps he should stop that behavior. His oblivious mom came unglued and called me a very bad name. Good parenting in action!

Obama's own children seem to be very well-behaved. Just sayin'.

[LaurieS]

Pen, Thats cause he has a secret service agent attached to them

Pam, I bet she is one well-behaved young lady that people find to be a joy to have around.

It is that "entitled" attitude that is the biggest problem with any generation although it is way more commonplace now. How did this happen? Did suddenly all the parents take a snooze that their children who are now adults became this way? What can we do to prevent it from rolling into the next generation?

All ready has ... I don't know why but it seems like my generation was the one that really dropped the ball.  We suddenly became overly sensitive to Johnnies self esteem.  Suddenly molding our children fit into the popular/privileged group seem to be how we gained our own self worth.  We stopped being parents and started being friends.. and sorry but in our time friends did let friends drink and drive and it appears that we were actually began being the source as well.  Somehow we convince ourselves that if we lived through our childhoods then our kids would too and it became no-holds-barred.  How is the next generation suppose to correct it when it's all they know?

I tried and so did many other parents not to fall into this mood, but I think it would be unrealistic of me not to see where my generation did not cause so  many future problems.

[holliberri]

Oh, there is no doubt about that Pen. They do seem very well behaved.

Which is why I can't figure out why this woman chose that argument in the first place. I wanted to bad to say, "Yep, and his kids are quiet as church mice, what is your point?"

Oh well. It all works out. I filled out a survey in favor of the waitress (who was by then, sobbing), and got a $50 Gift card. So, I guess my tip came back 'round.

Back to the SDI's plight...I think some of SDI's rules are there for safety. Kicking a dog? I see two problems with this: 1.) misbehavior, 2.) a dog subjected to that for too long becomes fearful of dogs...and we all know the reaction from fear is aggression.

I'll get off my soapbox now about that...bit of an animal rights/behaviorist.

[pam1]

Thanks so much, ADIL!  I sure hope so, sometimes when people compliment her or her manners I'm wondering if they are really talking about her -- she's a rascal at home.

Laurie, you know what gets me?  In all of DD's sports the losers always get a trophy at the end of the year.  Helloooooo? You LOST, why are you giving that kid a trophy?  Losing is not trophy worthy.  Hmph

[AnonymousDIL]

It's funny you mention "Little Johnie's Self-Esteem," Teachers are no longer allowed to correct tests in red ink because it makes the kids feel bad. Really? If they did poorly they should feel bad enough to try harder next time.

[pam1]

Pen, one time on my way into a gas station I noticed a toddler outside right by the door, digging through the ash tray on top of a trash can.  So when I went in I told the cashier and this lady overheard and said that's her child.  She went outside and berated the child, all I could think was why in the world did she leave a toddler outside of a gas station?  I mean, I'd be happy if all he was doing was playing in an ash tray there. 

[holliberri]

In the words of my daycare instructor for the 3 years olds...

"Remember kids...second place is really the first loser."

OMW. Terrible.

Seriously, the pendulum may be starting to swing back. I hope so, anyhow. If not, I believe there will always be two competing schools of thought about parenting. I don't know that's been all that different among generations. I think my GPs have a laundry list of people they think were lacking in parenting skills when they were growing up. I see it among my friends too...but there are the "good doobies" out there as Pam puts it.

[lancaster lady]

GPs are big  softies because they don't want their gc saying they don't want to go to grandma's house because she shouts at me .We want them to enjoy coming to see us .I am not talking safety issues here ,just a bit of spoiling ... and we won't feed them forbidden foods ,that's just not done .We will teach them manners and respect as we did our own children ......and give lots of hugs ......that's my favourite bit .....

[LaurieS]

but there are the "good doobies" out there as Pam puts it.

Oh is a doobie a person these days?

[holliberri]

... and we won't feed them forbidden foods ,that's just not done.

LL...IDK...I think I've read some horror stories on here about GPs breaking the forbidden foods rule. That's  why I chose not to have a forbidden foods rule. I think in a lot of households, that IS done. LOL! 

[holliberri]

but there are the "good doobies" out there as Pam puts it.

Oh is a doobie a person these days?

Pam said so in her neck of the woods. I've been dying to say it! LMBO!

[AnonymousDIL]

... and we won't feed them forbidden foods ,that's just not done.

LL...IDK...I think I've read some horror stories on here about GPs breaking the forbidden foods rule. That's  why I chose not to have a forbidden foods rule. I think in a lot of households, that IS done. LOL! 

With my kids we will have the "please don't feed them too many cookies" rule just 1 or 2 please. Why? Because I know my mom and MIL will feed them the cookies anyway! lol

I remember having the "finish your plate rule" and I always followed it. If I didn't I had to eat the stuff cold. Well, one time I didn't finish my plate so mom sent it as leftovers to G-ma's house. She only made me eat half! We never told mom LOL

[Pen]

IMHO teachers are there to teach, not to humiliate; to encourage learning, not grind the slower kids into dust. Students retain more information when levels of stress, embarrassment and fear are lowered (that's been proven.) We haven't banned red ink in my community's district as far as I know, though. That's going a bit far, I think.

Regarding sports, IMHO we have to know what the goal (so to speak) of our kid's sports program is. I put my kids in for fun, exercise, team-building skills, the experience of improving techniques by listening to a coach, and hopefully to fall in love with a sport we loved. Winning, although strived for vigorously, wasn't the main point, so if they stayed in the whole season and met our objectives I was happy they got trophies. They all experienced the agony of defeat and knew who the overall winning team was anyway, since that team got a huge trophy and a standing ovation. The best players were tapped for club teams or spring select.

If your only goal is to win, then I suppose a trophy for participation wouldn't be appropriate.