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What's up with this?

Started by Scoop, April 24, 2011, 08:00:56 pm

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Pooh

We always have multiple desserts too.  If I am making something that is geared more for kids (I have made the bunny cake several times), I normally offset that when a more "adult" dessert.  Cheesecake, rum cake, etc.  Since she pitched in and helped, which by the way, was very gracious and thoughtful of you, and had pics made, I would consider that a success!

I have also, at the last moment offered the people with children to take home the kid-friendly stuff at the last minute.  Cupcakes, sickly-sweet birthday cake, etc.  It has no hidden agenda with me.  Simply I figure the kids are more apt to eat them and old age making me not remember to the last minute!

Did everything else go well?
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

AnonymousDIL

We had the IL's for dinner yesterday and they were tasty... LOL.... Seriously now, lol, MIL brought her Jello cake. DH told her that she was in charge of dessert. I did not make anything for dessert because it would seem rude to me. I wouldn't want my MIL to think that I didn't appreciate the effort she put into the dessert. Sooooo, I completely understand where Scoop is coming from. If the roles had been reversed, I would have most definitely been offended by the appearance of the second cake because I was asked to bring it.

I have also just showed up to one of the IL's cookout with dessert (which only 2 people tried). I was a little offended, but chalked it up to them being unwilling to try new things. No skin off my back, now I go empty handed lol

That being said. I don't remember, Scoop, were you asked to bring dessert? Did you offer? Did you just show up with it? Could MIL have already had the ice cream cake ordered (I would have told you so and suggested something else for you to bring)? Maybe she wasn't trying to be rude.

Pooh

I can see that ADIL.  I guess I have never considered it rude to have multiples...just the opposite.  I like to offer variety because people like different things so I think I am being considerate.   :o  Of course, I try to ask questions beforehand too.  If my DIL told me I was in charge of desserts, I would have asked if I was the only person bringing desserts so I could bring a couple of different kinds.  If I was told that no, several people were being asked to bring them, then I would bring one.

I was told to bring a vegetable and caffeine to my DH's Easter dinner.  I asked if she knew what veggies someone else was bringing yet, so we didn't end up with 5 things of green beans.  Then my DH's niece FB'd me and asked me to bring her favorite chicken casserole (kids..lol), so I called my MIL and asked her if that would be Ok with her.  She said absolutely.  I think asking questions clears up many meanings sometimes.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

Like with everything, even the nicest thing can be done rudely.

It took me the longest time to figure out what my MIL was doing in regards to food.  I've never seen anyone with her food etiquette, not even since meeting her.  She's a food watcher and hoarder.  And we come from completely different hosting backgrounds.  I provide all the food as a host, she is a potluck host for every meal. 

I felt like it was rude that she kept bringing food to my events, even when asked not too.  Because it is rude.  However, she comes from a culture where it is customary to bring food.  I think she could handle it a different way but she doesn't, so now I quit worrying about it.  I just put her food in the fridge etc.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

 I'm no good on this thread because Bunny cake and ice cream is cake and ice cream to me. I ain't got no class...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

oh Pam there is always room for one more dish... But yes if I had been asked by the hostess to make my scrumdelicious potato salad and upon arriving find out that she also made her I would be a little taken back... I mean really my potato salad is good.. how can someone tell me it's good if her mundane potato salad is sitting right next to mine :)  In the case of the cakes.. you would have thought that a different type of dessert could have been made and not a duplicate.  Besides it's Easter.. I think the bunny cake really trumps the ice cream cake.

pam1

lol Laurie

I meant my MIL will bring a watermelon to a bbq without asking the host, the host already has watermelon.  Then MIL goes on and on how hers is so much better, the type of watermelon she gets, the rind is easier to hold.  I'm not kidding, she's a food watcher.  Constantly watching and remarking on what everyone is eating, trying to angle and push her food.  It's exhausting, I'm telling you, I'm a reasonable person so I would just serve the dang food if it wasn't for the stuff that goes along with it.  It's easier just not to play.

That's why I think even the "nicest" things can be done rudely.  I just refuse to play anymore, ok thanks and stick in the fridge.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift


LaurieS

what nationality is she Pam.. don't give out to much of your personal information.. lol but that is odd behavior.. but then again with your mil it seems pretty normal for her.

My son gets so mad at me.. I have a horrible habit.. HORRIBLE .. of asking everyone while seated at a restaurant what they are going to order.. before I make up my mind I have to know what everyone else is having.. lol.. I do it all the time.. I even annoy myself doing it.

I don't know if it comes from having kids at one time and we had to figure out what everyone was going to have so I could approve or disapprove their choices and help them order.. or because I was a waitress for years and well then it's obvious why I was asking :)

I also listen to how my family orders ..oh my gosh that is another really bad habit of mine.. but my dh will always forget to say no salt on his fries.. 9 out of 10 times I have to remind him.. or my dd hates any form of gravy and she'll not remember to ask if it comes with gravy.  I think I annoy my family the most at food events :)

LaurieS

Quote from: Rose799 on April 25, 2011, 02:31:05 pm
I bet she'd have trouble topping this one, Pam1...

http://www.sugarderby.com/blog/2011/3/15/the-ultimate-ice-cream-cake-cookie-pie.html

Oh My.. I just bookmarked that Rose.. looks like a bit of work but wow that looks fantastic

holliberri

Hm...I believe those will be my 1st birthday dessert. It's a good thing I am not inviting 100 people!

LaurieS

you got time for those Holly?  Now there is a  job your mil might delve into and leave you alone for days in advance

pam1

They are of Eastern European descent but I don't think that has anything to do with it.

She's not well and is a hoarder in all other areas of her life.  Her parents also had a really rough time during the Depression and have seemed to handed down a lot of oddities to her that she's not been able to shake.  Instead of looking at a situation like too much food for a two person household and only 2 refrigerators....she will go out and buy a 3rd one, a 4th one etc.  She's up to 5 and a deep freezer now.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

pam1

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

pam1

Oh I just realized too that I do the same thing Laurie.  I ask what everyone is getting, I listen to the orders.  Sometimes I just order for the whole table, I used to waitress too, it was my first job. Man, I loved that job too. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift