April 22, 2019, 06:09:27 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Personal Messaging and WWU Etiquette

Started by luise.volta, April 23, 2011, 08:18:20 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

luise.volta

Let's see: A person with a gripe about a Moderator would PM the PM Guru. If she couldn't resolve it and it was deemed valid, I'd be brought in. If not the member would just have to "suck it up." (A term I don't like but it's very descriptive.)  I'm no longer going to be so readily available except to my team. And any complaints I get will go on to the PM Guru, as well. (Unless they are about her. LOL!)

The goal of this whole operation is to get rid of the complainers. This is not about how to placate them.  "You can't please all of the the people all of the time..." We want to stick to "being respectful" when we disagree and "taking what we want and leaving the rest..." when a thread doesn't please us. Just those two acts will take us back to being what we were before we started picking each other apart. Once started, it will never end. We have to become proactive and stamp it out. Otherwise, it will take us down.

Someone quit today because another member took exception to her presentation on a thread. I tried to go in and lighten it up but failed. We have some sarcastic members that have a long way to go to become respectful but if they are also loving and understanding part of the time...we just have to Walt them out whenever possible. If they go the other way and become less loving and understanding and more sarcastic, then "off with their heads!"

What works for most of us is where we need to go. WWU isn't custom-tailored for any one person. We have to learn to fit in and to work together before we can clean up the kind of mess we are now facing.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Thanks FAFE- You can go to my counseling Website at www.MomResponds.com. There's a Donation button on the Home page. I so appreciate it!  :D I won't know who it's from unless you add your User Name but know that I am grateful!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Pam1, thanks for your kind words. I feel the same about you and the others mentioned. I am afraid I might not always be available due to my DDD who can go for months w/o a crisis and then suddenly require 24/7 attention for a few days, but I'm willing to help in some capacity. Perhaps a shared duty?

We have so many wonderful members, we must remember that most of us have the best interests of the site at heart...but it only takes a couple of "sad apples" (apologies to the Jackson 5) to spoil the whole basket.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

holliberri

Well, I do nominate Laurie to handle newbies. She was the first to welcome me here via PM, and her welcome was the first beginnings of the attachment that I do feel to this forum. (Not even Laurie knows that). I understand if she won't take that role though, but in my mind, since she already does it anyway...then I think she might as well wear the hat. I didn't even know there was a PM until she sent me one.  So, I second Pam's selection.

I don't mind taking the Daughter/Son board so long as it is to resolve a complaint of someone. If that would be much of a role (considering how often I do post on here), I don't mind being the PM guru, b/c I think the problems would be easier to spot when notified versus the exchanges that snowball on the boards, even if they were really big ugly problems at the time.

And, if you bag this idea altogether, I understand that too. I do think this site is in excellent standing and that is due to your hard work.

holliberri

Quote from: Pen on April 24, 2011, 05:32:40 pm
Pam1, thanks for your kind words. I feel the same about you and the others mentioned. I am afraid I might not always be available due to my DDD who can go for months w/o a crisis and then suddenly require 24/7 attention for a few days, but I'm willing to help in some capacity. Perhaps a shared duty?

We have so many wonderful members, we must remember that most of us have the best interests of the site at heart...but it only takes a couple of "sad apples" (apologies to the Jackson 5) to spoil the whole basket.


I already said Pen and Pooh would make a great team. Perhaps they could share moderating, as Pooh has her weekends and Pen can't be here all the time either. Plus, a team might not be a bad idea for some more of the subtle complaints that occur. (Sorry,  Pooh, I'm speaking for you again).

luise.volta

No need to apologize for tossing out names as well as offering ideas and volunteering to fill openings. It's a compliment, always when someone nominates you for something. No one will get "stuck" with a job they don't want or can't handle or have to stay in one they find they don't like. We are doing what Think Tanks do...thinking! :-)

I was offered the highest honor here at Warm Beach when I was recently nominated for president of our campus, volunteer association. It brings in over $100,000. a year to filter back into the community by running a thrift shop, a ceramic lab and hosting an annual bazaar. This is a church owned facility and I am not a Free Methodist...so that pretty much doubles the honor when they chose to offer it to me.

My point is that I declined but it was still wonderful to be nominated! :-)

.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

Congrats, Luise! That sounds like quite an honor.


luise.volta

Thanks. My heart is in my Web work. What can I say? I'm six questions behind on my counseling Website, www.MomResponds.com and I don't know how many comments are waiting for approval. I was all caught up on Friday!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

LOL, only you know what you can do. That is incredible. I'm still trying to figure out what I can do and what I can't!

pam1

Quote from: Pen on April 24, 2011, 05:32:40 pm
Pam1, thanks for your kind words. I feel the same about you and the others mentioned. I am afraid I might not always be available due to my DDD who can go for months w/o a crisis and then suddenly require 24/7 attention for a few days, but I'm willing to help in some capacity. Perhaps a shared duty?

We have so many wonderful members, we must remember that most of us have the best interests of the site at heart...but it only takes a couple of "sad apples" (apologies to the Jackson 5) to spoil the whole basket.


Sorry Pen, didn't mean to put you or any others on the spot.

So we got for sure

Holly
Tara
Pen (sometimes)

Alright Laurie, WWU wants YOU.  Yea or nay?

I'd personally like to monitor the grab bag lol


People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Quote from: luise.volta on April 24, 2011, 03:21:14 pm
As you may have read, Lauie doesn't want to be Lt. Newbie-mom. I can understand that.

Did I just get demoted to Lt from Col? Geez Luise a girl turns her back and wham :)  whatever you decide

holliberri

Laurie,  you haven't been promoted to begin with; you're only in recruit status at the moment.  :P

pam1

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

holliberri

Pam, if there was ever any kind of hijack on this discussion board...it was tonight and it happened faster than ever. You've been recruiting all night long! LOL.  ;D ;D ;D

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama