I don't work and stay at home. When DIL found out she was pregnant, I told them I would babysit if they'd like me to. DIL works at home two days a week, but on the two days she does go in to work (she works 4 10's and has Fridays off), both she and DS have to travel on the freeway close by. You take an exit and come up the hill. It takes roughly 13 minutes to reach my house after you get off the exit. DS has to travel this way every day. I told them I would watch the baby here at my house.
DIL took 4 months off to stay at home with her, which is great. The next thing I know, she's lined up a daycare for $900 a month to watch baby for 2 days a week. DS said DIL wanted the daycare to watch baby for 2 days a week, I would watch her for 1, and her mom (who has Thursdays off) would watch her for 1 day. That way baby wouldn't get more attached to me. I told DS I thought that was silly and thought they were nuts since they had a sitter for zero a month and I assumed they could put the $900 to better use somewhere else. Oh, but DIL said the daycare came highly recommended, everyone who works there evidently graduated from Harvard (okay, being snarky, but guess they all have college degrees there). I finished with my usual, "Hey, you two are going to do whatever, you know what choices you have."
Evidently DS convinced her that baby being with someone who loves her was better, so she reluctantly gave the daycare idea up and we were all set. A month ago, DIL changes her mind and I now am being told that I must get up and travel to their home every morning to watch baby there. It's better for her schedule, I'm told. It's a 35 minute drive, through traffic, to get there. Frankly, if they weren't practically passing right by my house, I might go for it. Also, since DIL is working from home one of the days, I can imagine how uncomfortable that's going to be. I asked DS if she had decided to take baby to daycare, would she have suddenly demanded that go to her house instead? We're doing THEM a favor, and yet, we have to accomodate DIL.
The other day I watched baby while she went to the dentist. Hubby was watching tv in the family room and I walked in to tell him something and suddenly realized how fascinated she was with the tv. She couldn't keep her eyes off of it. We laughed about it and I said, "No way missy! We are not letting you go all tv zombie on us." I walked back out. Made the mistake of sharing this with DIL, that I had found out baby was fascinated by the tv. Before I could finish, she said, "Oh, we don't allow her to watch tv." I immediately shut up. So then DS calls and evidently she's convinced I had her parked in front of the tube all day. Next I get a long list of rules for watching baby. Rule No. 1? NO tv, and I'm not even allowed to have it on in the background because it's bad for her. She's 3 months old.
I want to say, "You know, just forget it and take her somewhere else. Get a stranger to come to your home." I am so tired of always having to accomodate her. She's a control freak and everything always has to be her way. Can I get some advice here?