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Josh Coleman, author of "When Parents Hurt" offering free seminar

Started by Tara, April 17, 2011, 09:48:37 PM

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Tara



Josh Coleman is doing a repeat of the tele-seminars I just completed with him.  On a scale of 1-10 I would rate
them a 10 given where I was interms of my knowledge base about parental estrangments, the causes and how
to deal with them.

The first seminar in the series is new and free.  His format: He lectures for about 30-40 minutes and then
has Q&A.  You can send your questions in in advance via email and he answers them.  Those too were very informative.

The price for the whole series was about 185.00 or so but a woman told me he gave her and others a 'scholarship' and maybe
he does sliding scale as well.

http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/

if you have any questions, feel free to email me via my profile

Rose799

Hi Tara,

Will you please share what you gained from Dr. Coleman's tele-seminars? 

Thanks, Rose

Tara

Hi Rose,

Big question.  Thanks for asking.
I should say I also  had two consults with Dr Coleman (aka Josh)

I felt before I took this tele seminar I knew next to nothing about estrangement issues.  I had learned quite a bit
from wwu about how to not engage with my ds.  One thing worth mentioning about Josh is he is co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families.  Here is the description of the Council on Contemporary Families:  "it aims to increase communication among family researchers and practitioners while helping the press and public access accurate information and best-practice findings about how today's families work."

One of the things that appeals to me about  Dr. Coleman is that he is plugged into the research world and he's not just making stuff up.  Its like critiques of John Gottman and John Gray who wrote "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus"  John Gottman has done a huge amt of research on couples  and John Gray has done none.  Its not that Coleman has done the research himself, but he is intimate with it and the changes in society and families.  I did my undergrad work in sociology so the research gives me something comfortable to hang my hat on.


The topics of the seminars do address what I learned:

1.  5 most common mistakes of estranged parents

2.  Understanding why good parents get cut off:  5 most common reasons for Estrangement

3.  Should I keep trying or just give up?  Learning the signs, making a decision

4.  How to stop blaming yourself and get on with your life; dealing with guilt, anger, sorrow, and regret

5.  Dealing with your difficult son or daughter in law; the do's and don'ts

6.  The right and wrong way to make amends

7. Handling disrespect and abuse; setting limits and maintaing your self respect

8.  The role of divorce in estrangement; healing the distance.

This may  not be that helpful; but I have a great data base of info in my heart and mind now.  Also
he lectures for 30-40 minutes and spends the rest of the time answering questions, so one can get mini consults
from him and it is really helpful to hear other participants questions and his response. 

Here is one thing that has come out of my training with him which isn't alot but just a simple example:

My son can be rude and a bully at times; other times nice.  Lately nice.  I was telling my therapist that I'm
in a transition right now as my goal with him is to role model mature adult, parenting communication.
Even if he is being abrasive, rude or dismissive, I don't want to back down anymore, take it till I get mad,
or act like a victim.  I am committed to (even if I'm anxious) addressing issues as they arise with him,
in a calm but clear way.  He may with drawl for awhile, he might not like it, but i'm doing it and I'm
feeling it is helpful.  Also, Josh (Coleman) has a lighter touch than I do about things and I like that and am
going to strive to incorporate this in my interactions.  I learned so much about dils and the dil in my life
who is difficult, I so much wish I knew these things earlier in our relationship.  Here is one more tidbit
I find useful out of hundreds:  He says that we need to have a compassion barrier with our kids, that we
especially women, feel deeply what our kids say and do and its very painful  so he describes the pope mobile
that we need to imagine ourselves in that when interacting so that we are balanced, and can respond to our kids from that
happy, balanced place.  He talks allot about self care and has excellent strategies which he says are important
so that when we interact with our adult children we can do so from a place of love of self and love of them
(my choice of words). 

I don't know if that's what you are looking for, but this Thursday he is offering a 'new' free seminar you can
take to see if you like what he has to offer.  One great thing is he has a good sense of humor, so I like his
delivery.

PS:  I am aware that not everyone is fond of Josh Coleman's work and (and infact feel blamed by him ) I do not mean to offend or frustrate my dil friends here on wwu.  He does have some vip info for estranged parents and it is in this spirit i'm sharing. 


Rose799

Thanks Tara, you've been very helpful.   I've made significant progress since joining WW, but am having difficulty moving forward.  I do well until upcoming events & holidays.  I exhaust myself in preparation for what may be thrown at me.   Like you, I want to learn a better way of interacting with dd.  I appreciate your post, Tara.  I will register for Dr. Coleman's tele-seminars.  Hopefully it will help strengthen dh's & my relationship regarding dd, as well. 

Rose

Tara

Rose,

I'd like to hear what you think about it as it goes along.  It really is a long series and provides alot of info and support.
I looked forward to it each week.



Rose799

Quote from: Tara on April 19, 2011, 02:24:24 PM
Rose,

I'd like to hear what you think about it as it goes along.  It really is a long series and provides alot of info and support.
I looked forward to it each week.

I will let you know, Tara,
thanks again~

Rose799

Quote from: Tara on April 19, 2011, 02:24:24 PM
Rose,

I'd like to hear what you think about it as it goes along.  It really is a long series and provides alot of info and support.
I looked forward to it each week.

Dh & I listened to the first tele-seminar today, Tara.  We both were quite impressed with Dr. Coleman.  This one was about how the stress of estrangement hurt marriages & friendships.  He shared some good suggestions on how to cope better as a couple.  I am looking forward to next week's, April 28th.  The topic will be "Should I Keep Trying or Just Give Up?"  I can see why you spoke highly of the program, thank you...

Tara

Rose,  good! 

I'm glad you liked it. I signed up for thursday too and didnt get to attend, so will listen to his
replay.