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How did it get like this

Started by shocked, April 20, 2011, 08:30:53 PM

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lancaster lady

My FDIL instructed me not to go through my DS , go directly to her , which I did , took us a while but we
are now sorted . It's like discussing her behind her back .
Let the dust settle , give them space .The fact they are coming to stay in June means you'll see them for a whole week .
They never visit the DS FOO as much as the DIL FOO ...that is a fact !
It's hard when you feel you are being slighted , but maybe not intentional .I'm just glad for any invites or visits I get .

Pen

Shocked, I agree with the others about FB. Unless you have a solid relationship it can be a landmine. I would love an account for keeping up with friends, and have missed many social events because no one seems to email or snail mail anymore. However, the risk is too great for a cut off and I'm not ready to chance that yet.

My DIL has never given us a reason for her disdain, other than "she just doesn't like [us.]" We've done nothing we can apologize for or change. Her FOO rules, we drool. We are frustrated because her attitude affects how often we see DS, but we put up with it without comment (we refuse to talk about DIL behind her back) because complete cut off would break our hearts. When GC arrive we'll figure it out...I'm ever hopeful but not expecting anything to change.

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Sun_is_still_shining

Aww Pen! You sound like a wonderful MIL! I disliek the whole lets hate on someone just for the sake of it. Way to take the high road! Cheers!

Pen

Hey, Sun, thanks! We think we've been fabulous, but we're predjudiced in our favor.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

lancaster lady

Pen ...I hope when GC do arrive things will change for you ....you would make a great GM ... :)

Sun_is_still_shining

That's okay Pen, someone has to look out for #1. I like to think the same about DH and I lol!

Rose799

Quote from: Pen on April 22, 2011, 12:46:03 PM
We think we've been fabulous, but we're predjudiced in our favor.

You've got my vote...

holliberri

I am prejudiced in your favor too, pen.

shocked

Thanks for all of the input, it has given me alot to think about and options on how to handle things.  will continue to make plans for a "girls day" when they are here including lunch, facial and massage.  It never dawned on me she may not have wanted me to come after the baby was born, all of the plans were made with my son.  I would've welcomed any help when my child was born but I need to remember everyone is differrent.  I will not take her off my FB that may make things worse and then I would not be aware of things going on with them.  Wish there was not 16 hours between us but will make the most of it.  Thanks ladies! 

Pen

Shocked, I'm glad you're in a good place. I hope your visit is wonderful!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb