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GC sexually abused

Started by justus, April 06, 2011, 06:33:24 PM

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justus

BG: DH had custody of SD since she was 13. SD's M essentially abandoned them both here in the Midwest and SD chose to stay with her only sane parent. DH and I got married about a year and a half later.

SD has always had unfinished business with her M. She was never a priority and was abused and neglected by her M. About a year and a half ago, SD moved across the country away from us and SIL's family to live with her M until they found jobs. It was  a poor decision, but one she couldn't help but make.

It has turned out badly.

GS, who just turned 4, has been sexually molest by her half-aunt who is 11. It could be a lot worse, but on top of this, SD is dealing with her own childhood experience of molestestation that her M dealt with in the same way, that is by sweeping it under the rug. I just cannot imagine what SD is going through right now, but both she and SIL are dealing with it in admirable ways. GD will never see her aunt or her GM or SGF again because of how they are dealing with this. SD is putting her DD first.

DH and I have been on pins and needles for the past several weeks. SD has needed to do several things so that after they reported it to the authorities, they would never have to have anything to do with these people again. Every interaction has been toxic. DH and I have been watching from a distance of around 2,000 miles and wishing we could kick some behind,  but distance prevents that.

Then, there is the "I told you so..." factor. We knew it would end badly, but we didn't think this would be it. I am kind of angry with SD. She was abused and neglected by her M, why did she think her own DD would fair better? On the other hand, I did the same thing to my own kids with my diagnosable M only it didn't end with sexual abuse. I can't judge, but I am very upset.

They called CPS, who say there is nothing they can do because the victim, GD, is out of the situation and is being protected from her abuser. If the abuser was older, prosecution would be pursued.

This and DS told me that my own CO M might have Kidney cancer the same night I found out about the abuse. Turns out it was just another trumped up drama. Another attempt at crying Wolf.


luise.volta

I honestly dona't know what to say but I am sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Rose799

Justus, I hope your GC helps SD move on to a brighter future, now that she has a full grasp of what she's been missing in DM.  It's fortunate that SD is taking the high road...  Wishing you all well,

Rose