March 29, 2024, 01:15:07 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


My weekend... Good for a laugh

Started by AnonymousDIL, April 04, 2011, 07:17:20 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pam1

I'm glad you can see it as funny.  I honestly wouldn't go around any of them until stuff settled down.  I don't think it will get any better until you draw lines -- but around yourself and your DH.  Laurie is right, I think taking sides or drawing lines to include other family members is just asking for drama.  The moment SIL came over and started her tirade, I would have left. 

To me, it even sounds bad enough that I'd change my number too and only contact them.  Until they can all behave themselves.  Life is too short.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

holliberri

I think it is quite common to stage a break in and prank the house.

Our girlfriend in Italy came home to a broken bed thanks to her pranksters. It was funny, but she's lucky she didn't get hurt.


AnonymousDIL

I only have contact with them on special occassions, but they harrass DH. I say harrass because whenever he gets off the phone it is complain, complain, complain. I do hope things settle down when the divorce goes through, but as they say "Plan for the worst and hope for the best."  :)

Ideally, MIL will act like a grown-up and not throw a hissy fit because we still see and talk to FIL. He has no issues with us seeing and talking to her (although with her past behavior towards me and DH, I might have a few "issues" lol). They really just need to play nice. No using other family members as a weapon against the other.

But, it is sooo clear where the family lines have been drawn. MIL/SIL/BIL2 on one side and FIL/DH/BIL1 on the other. Since my relationship with MIL/SIL has never been a close one, well, I don't think I need to say anything more about what side I would be on...

But, I may have a child someday. MIL might want to be a part of that child's life. But, if she decides to cut us off over this, she will not see any future kids. I don't play the game "I'll be nice to you as long as I am getting something from you."

Sooooo, praying that MIL gets a dose of maturity when dealing with all of this.... Maybe a dose for the rest of them too! I feel like I am watching a bunch of kindergarteners fight over a new toy!


I've heard that "tradition" before too. But, sending this out to the soon to be MIL's lol, it is a VERY INTRUSIVE RUDE thing to do when you have already told your FDIL that she is not now nor will she ever be part of your family.... I am a little OCD as well. My family had enough sense not to pull that, soooo, whether it was a joke, sweet or what-have-you it is listed as a mark against her in my book. Just being honest.

SunnyDays09

I think I like the move suggestion.  :)

You sound like you two have a handle on the family fun.  It would probably be nice to talk with them and voice your concerns, but mil may not take any more boundaries. 

Is it known what the woman really wants?  Is she this way with everyone?  Is there any remorse from her after her spells?  To call your husband so many times seems like someone going over the edge quick.  I hope you two are far from it if it happens.

I hope she gets a grip before she loses her whole family. 


Kennedy

Most every family has a few nuts. And the way you can laugh at  the nuts in yours is great! IMO.

I have a very off topic question. In your OP you used the word "Anywho" What does that mean? I've seen that before many times and I don't get it? LOL It seems to take the place of "Anyhow"? Just wondering? Thanks

luise.volta

Yup, that's what it means. We just substitute it for fun. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

elsieshaye

I'm not a fan of the pranking the house thing.  Seriously do not like people in my house without my permission.  And while I can see myself giving my son a gag gift, I can't imagine teasing a future DIL quite that way unless I 100% without a shadow of a doubt knew she'd find it hilarious.  It's only funny if the recipient finds it funny, and when in doubt, don't go there, otherwise it's just invasive and disrespectful.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Pooh

I'm with you elsie.  I'm not a fan of it either.  And I also agree I think you have to know your recipients very well, before you pull any prank. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

Making a note to self.... cancel that amazon order for the case of KY I was sending to Pooh :)

AnonymousDIL

Quote from: Laurie on April 05, 2011, 08:30:41 AM
Making a note to self.... cancel that amazon order for the case of KY I was sending to Pooh :)

ROFLMBO!!!!!

Pooh

Quote from: AnonymousDIL on April 05, 2011, 08:46:52 AM
Quote from: Laurie on April 05, 2011, 08:30:41 AM
Making a note to self.... cancel that amazon order for the case of KY I was sending to Pooh :)

ROFLMBO!!!!!
Pssshhh....send it on...you know your audience well.  ;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

So after the proposal when the F-ILs got weird you still went ahead with the wedding? You had a chance to escape and you didn't take it?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

AnonymousDIL

Quote from: Pen on April 05, 2011, 08:57:49 AM
So after the proposal when the F-ILs got weird you still went ahead with the wedding? You had a chance to escape and you didn't take it?

I guess I am as crazy as they are LOL

DH is everything I've always wanted. It truly never occured to me to "escape" from his crazy family because he is so perfect for me.

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

overwhelmed123

I've seen that question before, Pen, "why did you marry him if you knew what his family was like?" so I'm not trying to single you out here, but I just can't imagine leaving my DH in the lurch because he shares DNA with crazy people.  I mean would you give up your DH if he was related to nutbags?  Just walk away from the greatest love of your life even though it's not really his fault?  I just couldn't even imagine.  That would be punishing him for something he has little control over.  ADIL's DH seems like he is well versed enough not to buy into their madness.  So why punish him for it?  I don't get it.  It would have never crossed my mind.  Now, had he been completely enmeshed with them and not able to see the forest from the trees, that's a different story.  But to have a DH that isn't buying into their crap and doing what he can to put his marital relationship first...how can you walk away from that?