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Tears, tears, tears, tears, tears.

Started by seasage, April 02, 2011, 11:27:00 AM

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Pooh

Seasage, that was a horrible thing for a person to be told by anyone.  It so reminded me of being in High School, and the "elite" kids belittling and being mean to what they perceived as "lower class" kids.  It wasn't right then, and it isn't right now.

I will tell you from personal experience with a brother, that as soon as he reached 18, he has pursued with a vengeance the lifestyle of the wealthy.  Since we were raised very modestly, and on the poor side, he has always had the mindset that he was an unhappy person because of lack of funds.  But guess what?  He is now very wealthy, and is still an unhappy person underneath it all.  If he was made to look deep inside of himself, he would have to admit that he was raised in a healthy environment, with parents that loved him and taught him the good in life.  But to look that deeply, he would also see the ugliness that he has created, and he does not want to face it.  I have watched him over his life, trying to reach a place where he is happy, and it will never happen.  He still does not see that money does not make you happy, no matter how much you have, if underneath it, you are not a happy person.

Your son, although he knows he was raised well, may be in a place where he is believing money is very important.  He may be getting that from his wife, because he sees as long as she has wealth or perceives wealth, she seems to be happy, and feeding off of that.   I have a friend who married into a wealthy family, and when she's sad, she goes shopping.  She gets a feeling of happiness when she buys things.  Then she comes home and crashes back to reality.  So she goes and buys more things to achieve that feeling.  On the surface, she appears poised, happy and carefree.  But in reality, she is very unhappy.  Hopefully one day, your DS will understand that and learn to appreciate his upbringing.

The only thing you can do is set your boundaries and not let them make you feel less than you are.  You gave him a good life and you know it.  If my DS said in so many words, that I needed to buy a better house for DIL to visit, I would tell him that it was a shame that she felt that way, and I hope he would continue to visit.  That or that now that he had money, maybe he could buy her a new attitude, could go either way with me.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell