Tears, tears, tears, tears, tears.

[lancaster lady]

Seasage:

I agree with Laurie , she's gonna find fault with something , maybe the colour of your loo roll !!

My previous post referred to Pen worth a million of these people , of course I meant you Seasage ...and you too Pen !!
some folk living in the middle of a concrete jungle would give their eye teeth for your location .....
We're all coming for a vacation Seasage .....better stock up ...wine that is ....
One of my friends could buy and sell me ....she had pots of money . when entering her house , back door of course ,
in her kitchen she had cats sitting on every available shelf and surface ! she didn't give a darn , her house , her rules !

[Kennedy]

Seasage, I'm sorry you are  sad.
Sometimes our children can hurt us the deepest I know.
It sounds like you've raised an amazing Son so he will come back to what is right. Until then I'll send prayers and good thoughts your way!

[luise.volta]

Tell them to buy a motor home and you'll be happy to plug them in, enjoy having them around when they want to be and respect their privacay when that's what they want. I'm serious. That way...they make your home "bigger" by adding a whole new "wing." Sending love...

[L]

You know what Seasage....there is one thing money cannot buy and that is CLASS.  I really don't have any respect for someone who would tell someone their house is too small!  Well, la dee dah!  If I were you I would tell him to stay in a hotel if your place isn't adequate enough.  Really, that is just rude what your son did.  But that's just my opinion.  Not trying to make you feel badly, I am also smarting right now from an extremely pretentious younger brother of mine who always acts like he is so much BETTER than me, so maybe I shouldn't respond to you.   But really, I do think your son is being quite insensitive and snobby.  Good luck!   

[L]

I think the RV idea is great to suggest to your son.  My relatives have a huge one with it's own master bedroom and it's a beauty, they travel all over and visit relatives in it.  That way, they have their privacy.  Hey, if your DIL is really so rich with jets and all, then buying an RV would be a drop in the bucket.  So, hey that may be your answer!   

[FAFE]

Well, duh!  Maybe DIL and DS could buy you a new house that they approve of!  I have heard of a lot of stuff in my years, but this one takes the cake.  Isn't it amazing that he could/would not tell you this in person.  Like a lot of the others said, she's gonna find something to not be to her liking.  I know you're hurt, but one of these days - what goes around, comes around.  As my mama would have said, dry up those tears, put some red lipstick on and march forward. 

[cadagi101]

seasage,
i just spent ages typing a long reply and then poof we had a blackout,  well this will be short and sweet.     I would dig my toes in and tell them " to paddle your own canoe buster"  but that's me.     How dare they.    They'll come back to earth with a thud!!!

[cadagi101]

seasage,
i just spent ages typing a long reply and then poof we had a blackout,  well this will be short and sweet.     I would dig my toes in and tell them " to paddle your own canoe buster"  but that's me.     How dare they.    They'll come back to earth with a thud!!!

Honestly how much can a koala bear

[Nana]

Seasage.  Yes...how dare him (your son) tell you that your house wasnt good enough for your dil to feel comfortable.   I am sad for you...but very angry at him.  Sorry to say this but it is true that those new "rich"people (like your son) lose ground.  He was raised in your house and had that house full of love for him. 

You are right about being rich.  Richness of heart, memories, love and having done the best we could.  Richness is not having money....that kind of richness has no value to me....it is our values and virtues that make a person full and worthy.  Dont ever permit noone make you feel worthless.....money comes and goes.....class, feelings, empathy is another thing. 

I know that I have more economic resources than dil's parents.    I am constantly buying things for my gk and offering unconditional babysitting.  My house is fancier and bigger than my dil's parents house.....and what?  So?  That doesnt really matter....this does not make me better than the ils....I dont think so, dil doesnt think so either.  That is how it should be. 

You are a wonderful human being...full of richness and your son/dil do not deserve you.  Your son will get it sooner or later, I am sure.Be patient, forgive him because he is in a bubble right now. 

Hoping the best for you.

Love

[Rose799]

Your home sounds lovely, Seasage...  Wonder what DIL would say about Warren Buffet's?

http://infozblog.com/interesting-facts-about-warren-buffet/


"I have been very happy with my homes, but homes really are no more than the people who live in them."     Nancy Reagan

It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.  ~Author Unknown

Every house where love abides
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest.
~Henry Van Dyke

He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world.  ~George Washington

You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right.  ~Maya Angelou

[LaurieS]

Rose.. that's great that you brought up Warren Buffet... I'd be willing to be that he would not have received the same message.

[seasage]

Rose, your quotes are wonderful, and they have totally turned my mind around.  I was going to select one of them to insert in an answer to DS.

In preparation for my answer, I reread DS's message.  At the end he says, "The bottom line for me is something that will make [DIL] feel comfortable."  With a clear head this morning, I can see that the problem is still DIL, possibly not DS.  As Laurie said,

I agree that if it wasn't the size of the house  or it's proximity to town.. it would be the color of the room or god forbid the wild hair on your chin   Your dil is grasping, I hope your son comes to see that one day, before he never gets to enjoy the sound of the croaking frogs again.

So I am just going to sit tight.  That email doesn't deserve a response.  As I said to DH, I'm staying put.  No need to refashion my life, or my house, to accommodate DIL.  It's her problem, not mine.

You all help me see things in proper perspective.

[1Glitterati]

It doesn't have enough room for him and DIL to get away from the family.  They need to visit us in a bigger house, someplace where either they can get away from our family and read, decompress, or they need to be able to go to a restaurant or park to get away from the family.

Is there any chance that this is about not being able to spend 24/7 in a house with other people without a break?  I especially look at the they latter part...that they need to be able to leave and go somewhere else for a short period of time to decompress.

Is it possible that this is just about having some alone time in the midst of spending overnight time with a group of people?  Is there any chance that this is because she might feel overwhelmed (for whatever reason) and need a place to herself to get herself back together?

I'm just asking if this is a possibility.

[Barbie]

Trying to look at the brighter side of it, Glitter may be on to something. When my DS and DIL came to visit, they came and went as they pleased, they went to visit friends or to eat by themselves while staying at our house and as I understand it, they do the same thing when they stay with DIL's parents house

[seasage]

Glitter, 
Of course this is about not being able to be with us for 24 hours.  Now my son knows that we always have a car available for him and DIL to hop into and get away.  Always!!!  So the complaint doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

BUT - I also need to tell you that the two of them are perfectly capable of spending a week at a time with DIL's FOO in one or another house or resort place.  They do this at least three times a year.  And DIL's FOO is welcome in their house --- which by the way has EXACTLY the same problem as ours: it is all one big open space with bedrooms off an upstairs balcony.

However, you should also be aware of the fact that DH and I are NOT welcome to stay with DS and DIL.  And that is DIL's choice.  We were once invited by DS to spend one night there, but DIL said no, not over my dead body, I will leave if they come.

So now I ask you Glitter, is this about "not being able to spend 24/7 in a house with other people without a break", or is this about DIL not wanting to be with us?