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Started by holliberri, March 27, 2011, 07:07:30 PM

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overwhelmed123

I feel for you, Holli- but you were classy as always! :)

pam1

Oh Holliberri, you did so well!  Classy is right. 

Some things I about in regards to outfits is just a thank you, it'll look nice and then put my own (oh wait, who am I kidding?  DD picks her own out now) for the bday/holiday and just truck on.  MIL eventually got the hint.  She was sad, she cried but more importantly she moved on and got over it....after awhile lol.

The holiday thing, finally DH and I came up with a set rule -- No spending two holidays in a row with in laws.  I really did not want to come up with a schedule, I just feel like that is handing over power and starting "fair" wars.  But this way, it's clear not one side gets to dominate and I'm "free" to have some holidays that I can relax and enjoy too.  Maybe your DH would be up for something like that? 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

holliberri

Thank you, Pam! Good to see you back here.

The holidays were supposed to be a 50/50 split. We'd alternate. But...life really got in the way. We've moved over Christmas, had deployments, lived overseas, and I was not allowed to take anytime off this year for Christmas b/c I was in mandatory training then. It hasn't worked out. So...we do what we can do, when we can; and I think we meet the "fair" markers adequately, although I'm sure some family member could argue that point. 

Last year, my therapist nearly died when DH said, "Well, I was going to tell you that they invited us for Christmas..." The therapist was like, "Hold it, right there! It is March. Why are they asking about Christmas?" DH said, "Well, we have to plan for driving/time off of work." She said, "Uh uh. You have no idea what is coming down the pike. They shouldn't even be broaching that subject until October. You can't stop them, but when they bring it up...a 'We'll let you know what we decide when we decide it' should suffice. Locking you into plans like that this early on is nothing but control. Nothing is etched in stone and that places lots of unfair pressure on a marriage."

Needless to say, I know this is wrong of me, but I was like, "SCORE!" I know that's not what therapy is all about, but it's kind of his fault for bringing it up for the first time right in front of her anyhow.

pam1

LOL!  I did that too when the counselor would "side" with me and I wouldn't have to say a word.  It was just so..so validating.  I think that's what happens when one side dominates, it's like you really do need to even it out.

Good to see you too :) 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pooh

Ha ha ha.....I try very hard not to verbalize "SCORE" when someone agrees with me, but my DH says I have no poker face whatsoever.  That and he follows that with, "Ok, wipe the smirk off your face."
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

ahhh Pooh. you don't even have poker fingers :)

pam1

Weird, you two are tied for posts right now.  1679 lol
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

dang I should have gotten a screen shot... catch back up  with me Pooh.. you're falling behind again old lady

pam1

I knew, knew, knew you'd be the one to post first Laurie and ruin it! 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

twice.. oh opps now thrice lol

Pooh

You know her Pam, she always has to come in first!  ;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

lol and use words like thrice.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Kennedy

Wow! that kinda shocks me about her buying your little girls special out fits without talking with you first.
I "think" almost all us Grandmothers enjoy buying the children new clothes and toys? I do anyhow! LOL I like it to much! ;)

But most of the time if I'm wanting to buy something special for a holiday I'll ask the Mom to go with me shopping. She gets what she likes and I pay for it. It works for us.
Now I just buy little things off and on, like a toy for Grandmothers house. And I often buy little outfits that are on a good sale without calling. Just not holiday clothes.

So my answer to your question about is it to much to ask that you're able to do the special outfits. My answer is "NO" of course it's not to much to ask.

LaurieS

LOL.. Hey Kennedy.. don't let anything a mil, dm, df, fil, dd, ds or anyone else does here, shock you... lol this would be a great place to come if someone ran out of ways to be an irritation in someone's life.. they wouldn't have to look far for some original ideas :) 

Nana

I also love to buy clothes for my gc.  I go crazy at the mall.  My son sometimes lets me know in a casual way that the kids have outgrown their clothing or that they dont have this or that.  My husband and I rush to buy clothes for them.  I think my dil does like us to buy clothing but sometimes she will say, this can stay here at your home for when you need to dress them when they stay overnight.   So it works for me. 

I do not push my dil into them wearing what I buy.  She sometimes bring them dress with what we bought for them and tells me "Did you see what they are wearing?" I think it is nice of her.

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare