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I'm so jealous of Holliberri!

Started by Scoop, March 22, 2011, 07:28:48 AM

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holliberri

Oh, Pen! You didn't sound small-minded at all. I really thought you were just explaining that kids are picky eaters and goat meat might not be a suitable option for the kids used to mac n cheese and fruit slices (not that that's what your kids ate, but I remember that being the only 2 things I ate for a time period when I was about 4-6).

Pen

Thanks guys.

The kids did like mac n' cheese, but I always made it from scratch; it wasn't what their friends were used to, LOL, so we were "weird." BTW, we eat seaweed all the time. There's a seaweed salad already prepared at the Asian market that is so yummy. We like the toasted seaweed snacks as well...and kelp protects your thyroid so it's all good!

I'm proud to say my adult children eat just about anything from just about anywhere now. Birria tacos (I guess the pot luck was a good thing), grilled octopus, caviar, blood sausage, etc.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Barbie

Scoop,

These are all little things that you can prepare for ahead of time.

After reading your post I wonder if my DIL feels the same way about me. I do things different than most people, I'm very set in my ways and I'm a perfectionist but the truth is I don't think that makes me a bad person and I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable, it just makes it harder on myself.

I'm also a very picky eater, always have been and I put everyone's likes ahead of mine. I think you'll be fine, if anyone can handle it you can.

pam1

What is blood sausage?

And why do I live so far away from all you guys that can cook like this?  I love sushi, rolls and all that.  No idea how to make it though and I don't even know what I'm eating half the time, I just get one of those trays lol.  Why are we all so far apart?
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pooh

Ohhhhh yuckkkk blood sausage.  You don't want to know Pam...trust me.

I am not a picky eater, but I have a rule.  I don't eat anything that I wouldn't be willing to touch when it's alive!

Pam, I married into a family of vegetarians and vegans (religious thing), and I have to get creative when we have dinners.  I am a carnivore and very southern, so we believe in cooking everything with bacon, bacon or sausage grease and ham for flavors.  I have had to learn to cook dishes without it when we are eating with them.  But that's the bottom line here.  I do it because it's the right thing to do for them.  I respect their lifestyle and always take dishes to their events that are vegetarian and cook all vegetarian when I invite them to mine.  (I'm not so good with the vegan thing yet.)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Scoop

But Barbie, do you look down on your DIL because she's NOT a perfectionist?  That's part of our problem too, the things that are important to MIL, are not important to me.  If we could agree to disagree, there wouldn't be a problem.  But if I don't do what MIL does, she takes it personally.

As for the food, it's not so much about being a picky eater.  The one time, DNiece (who lives locally) stayed at the IL's when we were visiting, as a companion to DD.  (OMG - they had SO MUCH FUN together!)  MIL made "chinese food" for supper.  There was not ONE THING that DN would eat, not ONE.  And this is the GK that is LOCAL.  There was very little for DD, it was all saucy with mushrooms and onions.  MIL can have grown-up food for supper 7 days a week, when her GK's are NOT visiting.  And without even changing her menu too much, she could have had some plain white rice.  As it was, I had to ASK her to get out the baby carrots from the fridge.

I'm not asking MIL to prepare 2 meals.  MIL and I come from the same general culture, neither of us have any dietary restrictions, other than likes & dislikes.  There is a VAST overlap in what would be considered good food by everyone.  DD is a kid, she likes plain things, nothing mixed together and raw veggies.  She doesn't like onions, mushrooms or anything spicy.  I think this is pretty 'normal' for a kid's diet and not very hard to accommodate.  Especially considering this is not a strange child, but a favourite grandchild.

I think it's also the disconnect between MIL saying "I'm the Gma, I *get* to spoil DD." but then, not spoiling her when it comes to meals.

Oh man!  I just re-read my first paragraph.  Hmm, gee, MIL is not doing what I (expect her to) do, and I'm taking it personally!  CRUD!  I knew we were too similar to get along but MAN that stings.

Thanks guys!  This board has helped me so much.

Pooh

Scoop, I don't think that is it at all in your case.  I guess technically it could be an expectation, but I just see it as common sense.  When we used to get couples together on weekends to play cards with their children in tow, I always fixed things the kids would eat, in addition to adult foods.  Even when we had simple spaghetti, I made one sauce with adult things, peppers, mushrooms, etc and another that was plain meat and sauce for the kids.  It doesn't have to be two entirely seperate meals.  We made hamburgers with all kinds of junk in them for the adults when we grilled, and just plain hamburgers for the kids.

I don't think you are being unreasonable...at all!

Ha!  Maybe that's it....common sense!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

pam1

Pooh, lol that's how DH and I are.  He cooks like you.  We take turns and learned how to compromise on food.  If there is something I can truly not stomach I just eat leftovers or stuff in the fridge.  And for guests, we cook for them and their likes.  The problem is that it's not really reciprocated.  I understand that I'm the minority, but it just kind of stinks every dinner or even holiday that I'm stuck with food I really can't eat.  I don't say anything and just find something but I guess it's just another one of those things that is done that isn't really appreciated or acknowledged by the in laws.  They can't even see when I do try b/c it's not like I'm vegetarian for a reason, just don't like the taste, so I try everything. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pooh

Snack pack pudding in your purse?  That's what I would do and my own spoon.  Then I would whip it out and start eating it at dinner.  When they said something, I would just smile and say, "I'm sorry.  I appreciate everything you do, but since I am vegetarian, I know it's hard to make things just for me.  So I figured out how to not inconvenience you."

Ok, I'm not helping.....
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

LOL, Pooh. I know passive aggression can be bad thing, but  sometimes it feels SOOOO right. Haha. That made me laugh.

holliberri

...and actually, it's probably warranted where one will have to starve in lieu of it.

Pooh

It does feel good sometimes, although I know I shouldn't either.

I just got a picture of Pam pulling out snack pack pudding, a spoon, those little individual packs of cheezits, oreos, chips and piling it in front of her, so she can have a meal.

Ok....I'm still not helping....... ;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

Yes you are, you're helping  me giggle through the last bit of training I have.

Pooh

Wait!  If you offer to share your snack pack, does that make it more considerate?  Stick a six pack in there and offer spoons?
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

Ya know, wouldn't it be great if like, 3 family members looked at the  dinner and said, "Blech, pass the pudding?"