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Our son's hatred for us for a promise not kept

Started by Louey0727, October 31, 2009, 12:04:56 pm

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To Penstamen:
I found your post very interesting and informative.
Could you explain to me what you mean't when you said "in countries with single-payer they do not have foreclosures" - - what do you mean by "single-payer".  I hope you do not think I am stupid.
Thank you


Louey I thought that's what Canada has a single-payer.  I thought that's when everyone pays into one big pot and the gov. runs the health care.  Its kindof like our social security and medicare systems, if you're familiar with those.


Dear just2baccepted:
I never have heard the expression "single-payer"., but I think I get the drift of what it means.
I live in Ontario Canada, and every province in Canada, has a different name and for their medical plan.  Her in Ontario, it is called the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP).  If you really are interested in our Health Plan, go to and type in OHIP or who funds OHIP and their many sites you can visit and it gives the details.  Like I said, every province has a different name, i.e., In British Columbia, you probably could go to google again, and type British Columbia Health Plan.  How we personally pay for coverage (do not know how other residents pay) since we are retired, when we file our Income Tax Returns a certain amount for OHIP is non-credit allowances and it is based on your Income.  Chances are if you have a very very low income or do not work and under the age of 65, you will not have this non-credit allowance and you are not taxed.
I hope this helps somewhat?


I am very very sad today.
As you probably have read my previous posts, regarding my son who has disowned us and told us we would never see his children again and have not seen my grandchildren for over a year.  My son talks to one of my daughters, and he told her that his oldest son (the love of my life whom I had an instant connection with and him with me) keeps asking about me and my husband (Nanny and Grandpa).  Since my daughter has brain damage, she does get the facts straight, but she has said it more than once.  I have not disgussed our alienation from my son, because she would not comprehend the situation.  All I said, why does my son (her brother) not call us, she told me, he said he sent many emails, saying how my grandson misses us (this is so untrue and such a FIB).  If I received such an email, I would be running over to see my grandson, not matter, how I was treated.  Just the fact that he wants to see me, I will go through hell and fire.  I believe my son knows that my daughter tells me things, and he either wants to hurt me even more OR this is his way of some form of contact--even it means tourturing me.  "What do you mothers think"?


OH LOUEY!!  I don't know what to think...would your daughter be able to understand exactly what he told her?  Maybe if you'd just act like nothing ever happened and gather the courage and call him? 

Would that be something you could do?  Call and say that Daughter said they had spoken to each other and he wanted to see the Grandson? 

What does everyone else think?  I just can't stand this boxed in thing!!


I cannot call my son, as I stated before he has told me 'point blank and to others' that he has disowned us and in his eyes were are dead.  By calling, I know with his hot temper and his inability to listen or reason, that I am in for more painful reactions.
This is definitely a "no" and believe I am not being stubborn, this history of my son holding grudges and not talking to us, goes back a long way.  As mentioned in previous posts, he completely lost it when we did not give him the cottage that we sold.  Never in my wildest imagination, would I believe that I reared this man.  We once were so close and he was a good son for many years, he changed in so many ways after he started to have children and the finally the sale of the cottage.
Of course, his mates hatred for us helped the tension further.


I'm sorry, Louey,  I had to be away for a few minutes. Oh my gosh, I just wonder if it would do any good to call the DIL?  I just don't know what could work......if only there was someone who knows you both who could intervene for you.

I'm worried about you.......



It sort of sounds like both.. if your son knows that his sister will repeat things then he wants you to hear it and he may also be trying to make contact in his own way. I have had this happen too ( son telling other family members so I would hear it). I am so sorry for you ( and all of us ).