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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


MIL Competitiveness with Mom

Started by AnonymousDIL, February 10, 2011, 11:25:54 AM

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luise.volta

Some women who, for whatever reason, feel small...love the authority inherent in raising a child and being in charge. If the underlying lack of self-worth remains...they will give up the reins very reluctantly or not at all. (Old saying I just made up.)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

I think we can easily get stuck in this kind of thread.  My take is that we may have a frustrated DIL here and that she is still trying, in spite of her frustration. I think she genuinely wants help but has a lot of viable "ya, buts" when they are offered.

I also get that trying to be fair to those who want it all is a losing proposition. And that scheduling holidays a year in advance may be something to do but not publish family-wide. It offers too much room for conflict. If there is a MIL who can't be satisfied and a DIL who is trying and getting pretty tired of it, it may be time time think of something else. Maybe a years of holidays with friends...a kind of a hiatus. No one would like it but you have the right to get off the drawing board, rest up and regroup.

Some of our comments may help and some may not. Just skip the ones that don't fit. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama