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Birthday Party

Started by holliberri, February 05, 2011, 06:07:56 AM

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jill

I think your MIL has a nerve to want to take over this special occasion, your baby's first birthday. By all means let her foot the bill for a big family party, but you and your DH and baby have a special celebration, with cake and lots of pictures, for just the three of you, maybe on her actual birthday.

pam1

We can be grinches together, 1Glitterati.  I don't really get into other little kids parties either.  I do like buying them gifts but forced interaction?  Ugh
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

1Glitterati

Quote from: pam1 on February 05, 2011, 11:33:49 AM
We can be grinches together, 1Glitterati.  I don't really get into other little kids parties either.  I do like buying them gifts but forced interaction?  Ugh


;D I thought about it the other day and came to the conclusion that while I like my own kids (duh!), I'm not nearly so hot on other people's children when they are little.

I have nothing but awe, respect, and a touch of horror when I think of nursery school, kinder, and elementary school teachers.  I tend to think (maybe because mine were messy little boys) that small children are wet, sticky, frequently snotty, koolaid/juice stained and they always want to touch you.  Kind of makes me shudder to think of 10 or 15 or 20 of them bearing down on me at one time.

Expectations are a huge thing for people.  I think many people (all of us in fact) don't necessarily think about if our expectations line up with those of other peoples or that they think about if their expectations line up with ours.  We just make assumptions, and the miscommunication goes from there.

On the flip side...people have their feelings hurt easily so sometimes we don't want to make our expectations know.  I'm sure all of us have those family members who are just hurt if we don't send a birthday card, or call on the birthday, or make a big deal of anniversaries, etc.  Trying to explain to them that something like that doesn't even register on our radar is seen as being hateful and mean and uncaring.

Pen

My mom was a very creative person and would throw really cool birthday parties for us. We picked the theme and she made it happen. They weren't expensive, just great fun for our friends (we could invite the same number of guests as our age.) Sometimes she would invite a couple of adult friends. She could make cakes to match any theme and was willing to set up games and activities with great prizes and favors as well. We also got to choose a favorite dish for our birthday dinner.

I tried to do a little of that with my kids because it was a cherished part of my childhood, but I couldn't replicate it exactly. There were a couple of remarkable (yet inexpensive) parties that are talked about to this day. It would have been annoying to me if my MIL tried to take over...it was my special gift to my child.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

stilltryen

I remember throwing a birthday party for my oldest son and decided to hire a clown to entertain them.  I just looked in the yellow pages and called.  On the day of the party, here comes the clown.  The guy was in a wheelchair.  No, I have absolutely nothing against the disabled; unfortunately my house (which he never asked about on the phone) was a split entry at the time.  You walked in and went either up the stairs or down - and this guy can't do either.  I was so mad, as it was raining and everything was set up in the basement.  I didn't want to yell at him in front of all these kids, and I couldn't very well toss all the kids outside in the rain and expect him to entertain in the rain - it was a nightmare.  I had to call some neighbors (men) to help carry him downstairs, then they had to come back to carry him up.  I understand the guy probably didn't want to tell anyone he's in a wheelchair, because I'm sure it would have cost him jobs, but he should have been honest.  There are other reasons that people need to know - like they simply don't have a home adapted for that.

LaurieS

Wow a wheelchair bound clown.. what are the chances on that one :)

pam1

1Glitterati, lol.  I can't imagine being a teacher either. 

But speaking of which, we have another kids bday party coming up next weekend.  DH is insisting I either take back the gift I got the kid or get an ok with his mother about the gift. 

Would you guys be upset about a live frog habitat?
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

I just became the legal guardian for my son's two pet rats.. do you think frogs would bother me?

pam1

Hah.  Did you see that recent Hoarders episode?  I never thought much about rats before and while I think the guy was a freak, it did make me think of rats in a whole new light.  They seemed ok as pets.  I mean, not like 2 thousand of them.  But one or two...maybe.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

No I missed that, and there are only 2 of these marshmallow eating clowns.. they are in their cage unless I let them out for some exploring but only in my utility room and only when I'm there to supervise.. who knows they could mistaken my washer hose for a long undivided marshmallow.

luise.volta

We have been wondering on other threads why our kids seem to be moving in the direction of entitlement, right? Well, this party being planned by the most insensitive person I have heard of in a long time...sounds like it is going to be bigger than the party for my grandson when he graduated for law school! Give me a break!

Tell her there's been a misunderstanding and you haven't formed any plan yet since being eight is great but you don't see it as a major bench-mark in your daughter's life. Tell, her also, that your daughter will have a lot of input when the time comes to plan it and that you will be sure to invite her. Ask her to rescind her invitations so as not to be embarrassed later, since you at yet don't even know the time or location.  Sending love...

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

Yeah be careful.  That's how this guy got started.  He only had 3 but they got out and went into the wall and started mating.  They caught something like over 2 thousand by the time the Hoarders team got involved and after they left his update said he caught something like 400 more.  And there was still more left lol.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Rose799

Quote from: pam1 on February 05, 2011, 12:50:44 PM
But speaking of which, we have another kids bday party coming up next weekend.  DH is insisting I either take back the gift I got the kid or get an ok with his mother about the gift. 

Would you guys be upset about a live frog habitat?

I remembered my little bro having an ant farm, so dd got one for a friend's b-day.  It was the hit of party!  All the boys were hovering over it.


holliberri

No StillTryen, I don't call her except when DH was deployed and she needed updates. I do send her links to things via e-mail/photos of DD weekly, and she always e-mails/calls DS about them (except the photos-no one knows except for her that I do that).

But, I am there at every Skype session, always on a Sunday. It's not one on one with her, but DH is there too. I mean, I don't call her, but I "see" her near weekly.


lancaster lady

My GD will be one in two weeks time ...
When I asked what they were planning for her birthday ,I was told my DIL mom is planning a party at her house , and you are welcome to come .
Thanks ,but you know I'll be working that day . !
I have asked them to come and visit another day near her birthday so we can give her presents etc ..
A little bit of thought and tact goes a long way .