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Why DILs Do What We Do & Why

Started by lovelyd, February 04, 2011, 05:02:42 PM

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LaurieS

I like for my visitors to stay a week if they have the time.. after that they have to help  mow the grass.  Any less then a week and I feel like we have to become running men to fit it all in.  But then again I'm pretty casual about my guest.. now my mil, I loved when they came when we were living in different states.. Mom couldn't sit still and she was like.. would you like for me to sew you a new set of curtains ... Dad was painting my porch.. they were always hard working people and that was how they evaluated their own time on earth.. how much did I get accomplished?

I just told my mil last week that she need not fear being alone that I would like for her to live with us when and if the day came.. she said oh I don't want to be a burden.. I said I won't let you be a burden, we'll get it figured out. OMG I am a softie.

holliberri

Lol. I am packing my bags and on my way...since you're so casual! :P

I don't think I'd mind houseguests either if they helped around the house-wow!! I never minded the ILs coming overseas to see us, but our house was bigger and we saw them once/twice a year.

The frequency of the visits, the size of my house and the small amount of leave we have has changed my tolerance a bit though.

pam1

I can't even do a week.

I need my privacy and I think I have OCD.  Can't stand messes and clutter and things out of order.  It's unsettling b/c I constantly want to rearrange my guest and their stuff.  I like people to sit in certain places....ohhhh, I'm letting my crazy out of the bag.  I also was brought that a guest is a guest so I refuse help with anything.  I cannot relax at all with a guest so a week or more than a couple days....woooo, Pam needs a tranquilizer.

And my pack starts to get antsy and trying to rearrange pack order and my alpha status is tested quite a bit by my babies (I've got 4 dogs.) 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

You are a softie, Laurie!

I have a son and DIL, an ex-DIL, and two sort-of daughters who all want me to come and live with them when Val passes. I have told them all that I want them to keep imagining I'm wonderful, so I decline.  :)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

Pam-same here. I can't turn it off, but it wears me out.

I get antsy at other people's houses too. Even in a hotel, 3 days is my limit. I just never managed to relax and settle down, and I am thinking about all the things I need to be doing at home.

I left my little bro's graduation early...and headed for the beach and then on home. I planned on staying 5 days with him...I lasted a day and a half.

LaurieS

Quote from: pam1 on February 04, 2011, 08:12:28 PM
I can't even do a week.

I need my privacy and I think I have OCD.  Can't stand messes and clutter and things out of order.  It's unsettling b/c I constantly want to rearrange my guest and their stuff.  I like people to sit in certain places....ohhhh, I'm letting my crazy out of the bag.  I also was brought that a guest is a guest so I refuse help with anything.  I cannot relax at all with a guest so a week or more than a couple days....woooo, Pam needs a tranquilizer.

And my pack starts to get antsy and trying to rearrange pack order and my alpha status is tested quite a bit by my babies (I've got 4 dogs.)
Woo - pass Pam the bottle of wine

LaurieS

February 04, 2011, 08:22:51 PM #21 Last Edit: February 04, 2011, 08:25:20 PM by Laurie
Quote from: luise.volta on February 04, 2011, 08:12:39 PM
You are a softie, Laurie!

I have a son and DIL, an ex-DIL, and two sort-of daughters who all want me to come and live with them when Val passes. I have told them all that I want them to keep imagining I'm wonderful, so I decline.  :)
My MIL has a true fear of nursing homes.. a couple of years ago when she developed a mobility problem she got rather nasty as if it was everyone else's fault.. she would constantly say.. Well just put me in a nursing home.. so my fil did..  I think she learned a valuable lesson

pam1

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

Yeah, it is unfortunate but my tummy can't handle wine.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Quote from: holliberri on February 04, 2011, 08:09:10 PM
Lol. I am packing my bags and on my way...since you're so casual! :P
I am pretty causal about company after they get here.. I'll break out my vinegar before hand.. but once here I'll mix up a big jug of Sangria ... or a batch of cinnamon pecans and sit by the pool side watching the stars.... Ok not this time of year so come in the summer.
Quote from: pam1 on February 04, 2011, 08:12:28 PM
I can't even do a week.

It's unsettling b/c I constantly want to rearrange my guest and their stuff.  I like people to sit in certain places
As  Cezar would say pssssst  psssst.. and snap you and your pack into a calm submissive state.  I do think it's funny that you like for people to sit in certain places.

LaurieS

Quote from: pam1 on February 04, 2011, 08:29:49 PM
Icky wine.  Gimme a beer!
Yeah I'm not a beer drinker .. and I like fruity wine

pam1

It's terrible.  I'm ok without guests and don't make family members or dogs sit in certain places lol.  But overnight guests...

We all have our quirks, right?  Right??
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Pam that one may surpass a little quirk :)  I actually don't often have overnight guest who are not family.. well does my dd's bf and ds's gf count?


pam1

You let gf's and bf's stay the night?  ;) j/k

I meant to refer to it as household family members.  But even though, I DO control my urge to put people in their place!
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift