Advice needed from MIL's & DIL's

[Tara]

also, in the workplace.  A few years ago I went to a workplace training on civility and they said the same thing.  Never use email
if there is strain or stress in the interaction,  to easy to misinterpret.  I wonder why I didn't get this earlier re:  family.

[holliberri]

Tara,

A lot of my e-mail seminars have said they were "unprofessional" and too "personal." I began to associate those descriptions with family. I think I decided that's what it was useful for, and it was instantaneous.

I think we're just not starting to learn that it's probably more passive aggressive than effective communication, and that we just aren't as articulate as we are with the whole package: facial expression and body language.

(Besides, who wouldn't want to look at me!?) 

[pam1]

Other than here, I type the least amount possible.  Ok.  Thanks.  Got it.  I don't reply to forwards or forward anything.  I hate my blackberry and don't know why people thought it was a good idea to be accessible 24/7.

No one else seems to have a problem with it, they leave me alone and know how I am.  Except the in laws - sister in law said to DH that I was a "cold b!@%h" b/c of my email manners.  And MIL was mad that I don't say Love, Pam. 

My goodness.  I'm not good with the written word and anyhow, if it is that important shouldn't we grab a drink and talk about it?  I don't get it.  It's like some people use this new technology to be braver...but only behind a computer?

[holliberri]

I don't get it either. I don't sign my name...but MIL does get Love, HB...b/c that's how she likes it. She had a problem with me not signing that way, so I fixed it. DH doesn't even get that.

[LaurieS]

what  was then new closing someone came up with...  With Detached Affection

look at this.. surely you can find one here  to please your  mil 
---Sorry bad link--- scroll down

[holliberri]

Laurie, I can't check that from the phone. Is that the member list? Lolololol.

[pam1]

I tried typing Love, Pam and then felt dirty!  Not b/c I don't truly care about her - I do (even though it might not seem like it on here.)  But I felt coerced into being intimate. 

[LaurieS]

Laurie, I can't check that from the phone. Is that the member list? Lolololol.

You need to get yourself a big girls computer

I like the first one.. Adios

[Pen]

what  was then new closing someone came up with...  With Detached Affection

look at this.. surely you can find one here  to please your  mil  http://www.wisewomenunite.com/index.php?action=profile;u=278;area=showposts;start=0

Yeah, I like that "With Detached Affection" thing. Here's another for the next step forward: "Love-ish, Pen"

[Tara]

Oh Pen, I love this

[LaurieS]

Laurie, I can't check that from the phone. Is that the member list? Lolololol.

You need to get yourself a big girls computer

I like the first one.. Adios

OMG  I did just post a link for our own site.. oh man I'm loosing it.. try this one
http://www.writeexpress.com/letterclosings.html

[LaurieS]

Some of my favorites:

Gotta boogie, Pam

Toodles, Pam

Smell ya later, Pam

Lustfully yours, Pam

Pam.. did she really make this complaint? 

[Pen]

LOL! These are hilarious. Great site, Laurie, super resource.

[pam1]

Yes, in her round-about way.  From what I gather she was telling people that she thought I hated her and this was one of the things mentioned that I could do to smooth waters.  She never spoke to me formally about it. 

And nothing is direct.  I don't know how to explain it, she cries or says she is left out and feels hated or not loved by me.  She says she can't sleep and her feelings are really hurt about things -- but I don't know what or I can't understand it at all when I actually do know.

[LaurieS]

I'm not a big believer in mother's going nuts when their little boys leave home.. but she may be the exception to my thoughts. It really sounds like she is totally lost without him constantly in her life. Backing her off some when you found that she wasn't even going to support you through medical problems was wise.. and the fact that for the first time your dh saw with clarity how her mind works may have been a marriage saver.... Shame she can't see or control what she is doing