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Who does that????

Started by pam1, February 02, 2011, 05:03:16 PM

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pam1

No, I must have missed her story!  I'm going to try and find the thread.

Oh and for my previous post since we can't edit, I don't mean to insult the glitter and bow crowd, it's just not my cup of tea.  And it's especially hilarious b/c anyone who knows me knows that so to fight over bows and strings in regards to my wedding was especially funny
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

I like glitter and bows but like most things...I think it needs to be selective. Like I got a Valentine that was so gross that I just love it!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 01:02:04 PM

So we finally got it straight that we weren't doing all of that, she then had to decorate everything.  and I mean everything had bows super glued to it, fake sparkly type things.  Basically all the wedding stuff was bedazzled lol
Ahhh the bedazzler.. now that is one toy that I always said hmmm that looks kinda cool... haven't a clue what I'd ever want bedazzled.. but now that we may have a wedding coming up:)

luise.volta

I hate to admit it, but I like sparkle - sparkle - twink- twink. Not on me, I can't wear earrings or a necklace without looking like a Christmas tree...but on love-stuff I have no taste at all. :-[
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

AnonymousDIL

Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 12:46:38 PM
Yes, GWN she does lol.

She did try to come on our honeymoon with us and I don't think I ever told the full story here.  Anyway, she bought the tickets and booked the villa right beside us and gleefully told us lol.  So initially DH tried reasoning with her and all she could say was that people on their honeymoon don't come out of their room so everything should be ok!

We quietly switched our honeymoon plans and went somewhere else.  It still didn't stop her from calling!  lol oh I got stories for days.  My therapist (take this with a grain of salt since I pay her lmao) since I should try my hand at stand up comedy with some of this stuff.

WOW PAM!!!!! My MIL did the same thing! FIL's family lives on the west coast, we live on the east coast. So, since they couldn't come out to the wedding, they wanted to let us use one of their cabins in Yosemite for our Honeymoon. Just wanted us to come over for dinner one night so they could meet me.

Well, we had everything set up when they send us a letter that it would be better for us not to come and that we shouldn't tell people where we are going. We were shocked and sad. So we called wanting to know what changed. Well? MIL tried to book the cabin next door. They told her no. So, everything is good right? WRONG! SIL/MIL tag team combo demon squad that they are, then "booked" a vaca for the whole family as a b-day gift for FIL right after our wedding.

We cancelled our honeymoon. Then the demon squad never went out. Ugh!

My MIL also gave a V-day gifts. I think it is weird and gross. Although not as bad as the KY gel she left in our bedroom for our wedding night. Really? Don't think that is crossing some kind of line, MIL? Ewwwwwwww! lol

Our first wedding anniversary hasn't rolled around yet, so I am hoping she doesn't give us any grief. But every year we have to go to DH's Grandparents anniversary party. Every year? Isn't that a bit much? Why not 25, 50, 60, 70, 75? Why Every year?

LaurieS

So why go if you are not interested in celebrating their anniversary?  You do have choices and it's well within your ability to politely decline an invitation... will there be fall out? probably.. but if this is a decision that you and your dh made together then it's your decision to make. 

AnonymousDIL

Quote from: Laurie on February 17, 2011, 10:00:42 AM
So why go if you are not interested in celebrating their anniversary?  You do have choices and it's well within your ability to politely decline an invitation... will there be fall out? probably.. but if this is a decision that you and your dh made together then it's your decision to make.

But why does it have to be a fall out just because we don't want to go to one of the family get togethers? It is like DH's family doesn't know how to love unconditionally. If you don't show up. BAM! you aren't "in" the family anymore. At least until they need to borrow your truck or something, then everythings great.

We got into such trouble last year when his Aunt's house caught on fire. His aunt lives 2.5 hours away AND we already had stuff going on so we didn't go. Yes, we feel bad that this happened to them, but what good would it really do for us to go see the burned house?

holliberri

Quote from: AnonymousDIL on February 17, 2011, 10:28:21 AM
But why does it have to be a fall out just because we don't want to go to one of the family get togethers? It is like DH's family doesn't know how to love unconditionally. If you don't show up. BAM! you aren't "in" the family anymore.

Fall out isn't comfortable, is it? It seems easier to avoid fall out altogether and suck it up and fit it in. Yet, when you do that, the other edge of the sword comes across b/c you feel like you're caving on your needs while they get their way. It doesn't make for an easy situation.

Pooh

There shouldn't be fall-out and it is wrong for anyone to get upset if you choose not to attend an event.  But I also have done plenty of the sucking it up and going to things, when I would rather be doing something else.  And I could give you many reasons why I chose to do that instead of doing what I wanted. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

AnonymousDIL

Quote from: Pooh on February 17, 2011, 10:38:10 AM
  And I could give you many reasons why I chose to do that instead of doing what I wanted.

World peace? lol
It is funny because even when we "suck it up" and go, MIL still complains over something. Usually that DH and I tend to only talk to 3 of his cousins. They are the only ones our age. The rest are between 7-12 years younger. They do their thing and we do ours. Likewise the Aunts and Uncles do their thing. I am the type who speaks when spoken to in crowded situations.

LaurieS

I think you'd have to weigh it out.. if sitting in pj's till 3 in the afternoon instead of attending a family event was the decision.. I think it would be easy. 

With our family events, or any event we try to gage the importance... there are somethings that only come once in life, and I'll do anything in my power to make it work.. but if I'm extending a invitation to one of my kids we usually discuss how important this should or doesn't have to be.  I try to be realistic and always it's there option in the end.. fallout.. sometimes I guess but isn't there always a reaction to every decision?

LaurieS

Quote from: AnonymousDIL on February 17, 2011, 10:44:26 AM
I am the type who speaks when spoken to in crowded situations.
;D take your laptop and type out messages.. you don't seem to have any problem speaking with this crowd.

AnonymousDIL

HaHa! That is funny Laurie, I wonder if that would work?

LaurieS

Could it be Adil, that anything your mil now says to you is just going to get on that last exposed nerve?  There are people who when you feel like they've pushed you far enough, now can say good morning and it's met with contempt and loathing, you wish they'd just shut that god given pie hole once and for all.

A lot of this might just be how you're perceiving what is being said.. not everything may be intended as a way to find fault

holliberri

I think we all do a lot of sucking it up for events. I'm an introvert...most events require a certain amount of sucking it up for me. I'd rather be home, and after constant activity, I need to be at home. I just think 10 day vacations to Madrid with family sound like ticking time bombs, and I think that weekly Sunday dinners under duress are a bit much. I feel like I spend a lot of time avoiding any and all fall out.