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Who does that????

Started by pam1, February 02, 2011, 05:03:16 PM

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luise.volta

They couldn't sell it and didn't know why. We traded is for a house we had in CA that we couldn't sell. Talk about miracles! (We both thought we got away with murder...the polite term is win/win.)  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

Just thought I'd update -- MIL did as she promised and brought our V Day gifts to DH's work!  LOL
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 06:50:59 AM
Just thought I'd update -- MIL did as she promised and brought our V Day gifts to DH's work!  LOL
You know she is true to her word.. right or wrong she will carry through.. this is the kind of person that if she ever made a threat  I'd take her at her word and not even entertain the possibility that she is bluffing

pam1

Quote from: Laurie on February 16, 2011, 07:17:59 AM
Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 06:50:59 AM
Just thought I'd update -- MIL did as she promised and brought our V Day gifts to DH's work!  LOL
You know she is true to her word.. right or wrong she will carry through.. this is the kind of person that if she ever made a threat  I'd take her at her word and not even entertain the possibility that she is bluffing

Yeah, I know.  DH and I have been talking about what to do in different scenarios and getting prepared for it now.  I think the worst will be if we are able to have a child somehow. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 07:21:17 AM
Quote from: Laurie on February 16, 2011, 07:17:59 AM
Quote from: pam1 on February 16, 2011, 06:50:59 AM
Just thought I'd update -- MIL did as she promised and brought our V Day gifts to DH's work!  LOL
You know she is true to her word.. right or wrong she will carry through.. this is the kind of person that if she ever made a threat  I'd take her at her word and not even entertain the possibility that she is bluffing

Yeah, I know.  DH and I have been talking about what to do in different scenarios and getting prepared for it now.  I think the worst will be if we are able to have a child somehow.
And you know it doesn't have to be that way.. that's the saddest part.  I don't think my kids would be half the person they became if it had not been for the positive influences of their grandparents.. even my parents who didn't really have a lot to do with the kids were not negative.. It maybe taught them that someone can love you even if they are not in your daily life.

luise.volta

Laurie, that's what I hear from my GKs. I wasn't very visible in their childhoods but they found me "warm and interesting" and still treat me with affection now that they are grown and parents themselves. Not the stereotype, but not a thorn in their sides, either. Kind of an "Auntie Mame" gramma. 
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

I don't think my DD or any future children should be exposed to them.  It is always about gifts and who gives them the most and it is heavily pressured for DD to pick a side to love the most by the in laws.  MIL actually questioned DD over xmas about a new toy sent from her other set and stomped off about it.  She's also attempted to come between DD and I when I was consoling her on numerous occasions. It's really screwy and even if we get to a point where we can talk about a far distance relationship (which I don't think MIL would even let happen, give an inch, take a mile) I doubt that MIL could continually be respectful of me or DH in her pursuit of winning the grandkids. 

The only thing I think MIL gets out of her gk's is the added bonus for attention.  She gets attention for every new baby, at their bday parties, buying all those gifts at xmas she gets to tell all the clerks what she does for her kids/gk's.  It's all about attention and it's all the time.

If they can't be nice to the parents, I doubt they have good intentions towards the gk's.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

Yes Luise.. warm and interesting that is how I want to be known :)

Pam you're right... not every woman is out there to be a good mother or grandmother.  I often wonder what drives people to that point, it has to be based on their own insecurities at least in part, would you think?  Insecure people tend to come out of left field and try swooping in to grab what they think is a crumb of attention, while playing the victim of every situation.  You almost have to pity the insecure women and I think they would receive pity if they weren't so darn dangerous.  When you lose the ability to demand attention at every gathering, it seems that some of these women began to try doing underhanded things to bring it back around to themselves.  Not the situation, not the child, but it's all about them.. what do you do with these types of people.. here we have an ignore button, shame you can't have one in your real life.

luise.volta

Oh, I'm going to hang ;) on to that one...an imaginary "Ignore" button! Yes!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

pam1

I did feel bad for her -- for a long time too!  Otherwise, she would have never gotten away with 75% of the stunts she pulled.  I went along with things just to appease her and felt bad for this poor lady who no one paid attention to yadda yadda yadda.  But it's never enough.  Whatever you give to her once, she expects more the next time.  Attention (good or bad) is almost like a drug to her, she will really do anything to get it.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

GreatWhiteNorth

I wish I read this sooner, yours do this too? are you kidding me?

Oh yeah, I thought it was so odd each year to get invited to celebrate MIL and FILs anniversary with them, can they not celebrate this by themselves? what are we one big married group or something?

I fully expected MIL to try and tag along on our honey moon, it is the whole reason we eloped. I didn't know any other way to have an intimate marriage with my DH without MILs interference. She can't interfere if she is not aware of it.

I had nightmares for weeks about MIL showing up at our honey moon suite, with a big surprize (as she tells us in my dream with a big toothless grin) that "surprize" *carrying her cot that she is going to set up right between DH and I* she is going to stay in our room with us! Then I imagined me sitting on the beach ALONE while DH and MIL are galavanting as if THEY are the married couple.

This was a dream, it did not happen in real life- but this is how this enmeshment that you speak of effects me personally.

The other dream- it was me and DH on a wedding cake, but wait- on the other side is another bride taking his other arm- bet you can guess who it is. But the bride on the other arm is having a childlike tantrum screaming " I want....I want...I want"

So yours do this too? I have never met another person that can relate to this....

Oh and did I mention what the big concern was when DH bought me my engagement ring (this is not a dream). The concern was "but MIL does not have one from FIL" MIL was trying to get DH to buy her a diamond ring too.....I am not even kidding.

And Yes I still married him after this- I had no idea how bad it would be- I thought it was harmless, that his mother was just a bit strange- I even thought it was somewhat heroic to care so much about ones mother- after all how one treats their mother they will treat the bride (ever hear that statement?)

I had no idea what an issue this would end up being.....no idea........if I knew then what I know now!

pam1

Yes, GWN she does lol.

She did try to come on our honeymoon with us and I don't think I ever told the full story here.  Anyway, she bought the tickets and booked the villa right beside us and gleefully told us lol.  So initially DH tried reasoning with her and all she could say was that people on their honeymoon don't come out of their room so everything should be ok!

We quietly switched our honeymoon plans and went somewhere else.  It still didn't stop her from calling!  lol oh I got stories for days.  My therapist (take this with a grain of salt since I pay her lmao) since I should try my hand at stand up comedy with some of this stuff.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

GreatWhiteNorth

We had a second wedding in June, a remarriage and MIL only knew of that one.

She literally put crocodile tears in her eyes and said to DH in a dramatic sort of way that "he did not even include his own mother in his wedding plans" before she dramatically drove away.

Who does that?

So MIL wanted to ensure she got ample attention at my wedding? so should I have consulted her with what dress I wanted, where I wanted to have the venue, what my party favours would be?

And MIL does not think that would be just a little bit weird....I would not even think to include her in all these things, it was my wedding not hers. (second remarriage- thankfully since we were already secretly married, none of MILs antics ruined our real wedding- it was come and gone before she even got the chance)

Oh and did I tell you what she sat down to talk to me about just after the wedding. She presented me with an old old book on fertility cycles and started to explain to me how to get pregnant- after scolding me several times for not wearing slippers on concrete- don't ya know- this is how your ovaries get cold. lol.

Who does that?

pam1

Well, I'm sure glad I have a slipper fetish.  LOL, that is one of the funniest things I've heard ALL week.

Oh boy, our wedding was going to be a freak show if she had her way.  She actually already had it planned out for us, down to the location, cake, our wedding attire...yeah.

So we finally got it straight that we weren't doing all of that, she then had to decorate everything.  and I mean everything had bows super glued to it, fake sparkly type things.  Basically all the wedding stuff was bedazzled lol

So, then I decided to keep the exact location a secret b/c really it was so naturally beautiful we didn't need bows and glitter....she went BONKERS.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta


Do you guys remember the member (we have over 2,000 now, so her name slips my mind)...who had to hire a bouncer for her wedding in case her MIL crashed it? And she did! Most of us agreed with her, as I recall. Desperate situations sometimes call for desperate measures. A honeymoon for three? Well, I had that. We took my dog!  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama