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Who does that????

Started by pam1, February 02, 2011, 05:03:16 PM

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pam1

So I was thinking about some of the little things in my background and DH's background today.  We certainly had a very different upbringing.  A lot of the stuff his family does, well I mostly think "who does that?"  Some of it is unbelievably weird to me that it is amusing, others....

I posted that we are cut off from the in laws.  Well, neither DH or I have yet to receive an apology or condolences.  After rounds of conversation last month DH had with MIL over her antics and getting no where, he stopped talking to her.  Still no apology, zip, nada, nothing.  So by chance she got to talk to him through a sneak attack (that's another story) and do you think it might be an apology or asking about how we've been or anything remotely compassionate?  Nope, she wants to know when she can celebrate Valentines Day with us.  DH says no, she whines on she has all the presents already.  DH says no, it goes on and on...she ends that she will give presents to him at his work and he can decide whether to give to me or not.

Are you kidding me?  Who does that?  My parents quit with V day when I was a kid.  And all we got was some trinket.  MIL gives us piles of V Day stuff and wants to celebrate with us.  Every year.

She also wants to celebrate our anniversary with us.  I've never heard of people doing that, my parents anniversaries were theirs.  They threw their own parties on milestone anniversaries but otherwise, that's it.  They celebrate on their own.  But every year the in laws try to celebrate with us, we decline.  Then right as we are getting down to having our romantic evening, guess who's calling to wish us happy anniversary?  And talk and talk and talk.  Don't most people leave others alone on their anniversary?

Oh, and lest not forget that she tried to come on our honeymoon with us.  And then FIL called the whole time lol.  Must make presence known.

So, you guys got any Who does that???
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

I agree, super-weird! I know 12 year-olds that are more mature.  ::)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

Couldn't your husband say ... excuse me Mom but I'm in the middle of having sex with my wife, and then you could do your very best Meg Ryan imitation.

Your husband needs to have security meet his mother and escort her back out of the building.

penelope

WOW! that is weird,I don't even celebrate valentines with dh let alone grown kids. Sounds like mil still thinks of him as a little boy:)

pam1

LOL.  No, I don't even want to go there Laurie. 

DH and I don't even celebrate V Day either. 

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

If my boys are home for a visit for anything then yes I'd give them one of their favorite treats and remind them of how much fun we had watching our kids on a sugar high every Feb 14th.   I do tend to pick up cute things because my daughter loves to decorate for each holiday.. but once she is married.. I'll resort to a special treat if she happens to be around.. but to chase my kids down to celebrate with them.. no

Pen

I totally know what causes this syndrome! Does MIL watch Martha Stewart? If so, she probably needs an outlet for all the holiday crafts & food she's creating and you're it! I happened to tune in the other day and it was way over the top. Cute, though...

Actually, and I don't want to sound mean here, MIL's behavior is a bit creepy...
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

penelope

Pen I was thinking the same thing...creepy

LaurieS

I don't think it's creepy.. but without a doubt unhealthy

penelope

extremely unhealthy(CREEPY), I would never wanna go with my ds and dil on their anniv,or them on mine~when my ds had his own apt for 3 months I went their twice,1st time to see it,2nd time to pick up the dog,his gf was sick:) I couldn't imagine wanting to be in your childrens lives,every aspect of it,he lived 4 miles from home:)

LaurieS

Pam.. your mil is married isn't she?

pam1

Quote from: Pen on February 02, 2011, 06:26:01 PM
I totally know what causes this syndrome! Does MIL watch Martha Stewart? If so, she probably needs an outlet for all the holiday crafts & food she's creating and you're it! I happened to tune in the other day and it was way over the top. Cute, though...

Actually, and I don't want to sound mean here, MIL's behavior is a bit creepy...

Hmm, I wonder.  She does come up with all this creative stuff.  But she also just buys stuff too.  I wonder, if it is we are the outlet or she just does this to have an excuse.  B/c every time we say no, she says but she already bought it or made it or had an idea.

Yes, it can get creepy.  After seeing me in a bathing suit for the first time she kept asking me about what I eat and going on and on about it.  Asking how I stay so thin (genetics) and it was sort of getting to me.  I couldn't figure out if she was trying to imply that I'm anorexic or what, she was so intrusive about what I eat and when.  So finally I just asked her did she think I looked too skinny?  Why does she keep talking about this? She said no, that I had a fabulous body and that I was proportionate every where and on and on and on and on.  Like I was an object.  I have never felt so objectified -- and by a woman, no less.  And then after that any time I was in a bathing suit or getting dressed for something I would catch her just staring and analyzing.  She still likes to ask my clothing size after being told several times. 

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

penelope

does he have sisters? and is she a widow? if so maybe she's lonely.

pam1

Quote from: Laurie on February 02, 2011, 06:38:41 PM
Pam.. your mil is married isn't she?

Yep.  And she has a bunch of kids that are married too.  Not like DH is her only source of entertainment.

That reminds me, any time MIL/FIL go on vacation they first try to strong arm any kid/spouse they can get to come with them to do so.  Then whoever can't go they email and call constantly to check in, to describe every mundane detail of their vacation.  Yikes. 

And when we go on vacation they try the same thing.  First they try to come, then when that doesn't work she'll call and email constantly b/c she's worried. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

pam1

Quote from: penelope on February 02, 2011, 06:43:15 PM
does he have sisters? and is she a widow? if so maybe she's lonely.

Yes, multiple ones.  No, not a widow.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift