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update on understanding MIL & how to deal

Started by Rejected, February 18, 2011, 09:37:28 am

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luise.volta

Yeah! That big dog is really scared! I can tell that right away!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

This just goes along with 'rejections' mil who intimidates her on size alone.   I love this picture.. that looks just like my little chihuahua.. but my dog is dumb enough to bite that dane on the nose

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

courtney

Hi Rejected, everyone else. Always when I come here to read I enjoy it!
I agree with not committing to once a month. That's a scary venture to me, when you are dealing with someone who's apt not to be gracious if you have to beg off a time or two!

I agree with keeping the explanation short & sweet abt your grandparents...the shorter, the sweeter! 'I have no idea!' is a great response. But she may feel you've been slighted & ask 'Well, aren't you going to find out?'
You might want to rehearse an answer to that, such as, 'No. I don't care.'

I have found when physical size seems to be being used against me for intimidation (I don't mean out on the street with bullies! This would be just for rude, intrusive people!)...I like to look them in the eyes. Not a challenging stare down, just blankly.
It kinda evens the field, as all other physical attributes fade away. I have found that more often than not, the person backs down from their intrusive demanding questions.
Try it. Look your husband in the eyes, blankly, (don't smile, it will look like a smirk)and say outloud to him, flatly, 'I don't care'. Continue to stare blankly...I'd bet he'll smile, turn away, and say,'okaaaay'.

I think it's generous of you to try to maintain a relationship with this MIL..I don't think I could. I hope all goes well! 
-Courtney


pam1

I agree about practicing responses.  Like if she says anything just say "why would I do that?"  But generally, people do stop their questioning when you turn it around or make it uncomfortable for them. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama