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Using Facebook apps to reach out?

Started by Ihopeuknow, October 28, 2009, 09:06:54 am

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So that's the latest with my MIL.  She told us that she refused to write to me so that we could work on things.  And now I convinced my husband to start calling his Dad a couple of time a month.  So at least he's keeping in touch with his family.  My MIL sees this and assumes that things are better and instead of reaching out to her son and myself in a mature manner, you know talking to us and addressing our concerns, she's sending us a round of drinks on facebook, she's commenting on my husband's farmville post that she's "proud of him" for getting the artichoke badge.  Does that seem odd to anyone?  I ask because I don't want to be the DIL that assumes the worst.  I understand that she's trying in her own way, but does anyone think it should be different? And how do we respond?  My husband deleted her post and ignored the drink request, he thinks it's childish and said if she wants to reach out to us that there are better ways to do it.  He's afraid, and this has happened before, that if we accept these things that she will think everything is okay and then all our concerns and issues get brushed aside until the next time there's a blow out.

MILs help...give me some insight.


If someone makes assumptions that things are all better just because you are communicating on a kind of superficial level like this, that's really her mistake, don't you think?   

That she's sending these seems to indicate that though she's "tired of trying", she still wants to stay connected.  Maybe on a superficial level, this is all she can do for now.   I don't know that anyone is expected to respond to gifts or comments anyone makes -- from my experience (limited) on Facebook, you comment or gift gifts when you find it appropriate. Maybe you are worrying too much about it, though I know it's kinda hard to draw the line.

I have a very similar situation with my DIL, where she won't communicate with me to work on things.  It does make things awkward.