At my wits end

[holliberri]

I think Laurie summed it up nicely. I do felt we got somewhere with this post. We were in all different corners, and I think we moved more toward the middle, even if we don't agree with one another completely; and I think all of us see where things done differently by one person or another would have been of benefit.

[overwhelmed123]

If we are picking a victim, can it be me?? 

[LaurieS]

Well, I got lost and can't seem to catch up. Let me me know when you have exhausted this one or I need to just put a lock on it. Discussion works here...debate, not so well. When we choose up sides, it can heat up unnecessarily.

I only saw one person get their bottom scorched    I think debates are healthy as long as you stay on subject.. now the question is.. will O'Reily be able to make heads or tails out of this?

[luise.volta]

Oh, if she does...I hope she explains it to me!

What was the thread where someone (Pooh) was talking about sending thank you cards to an ex and a sympathy card to his new squeeze? I wrote a reply and it showed up on another thread.

Maybe I'd better take and long nap and get up tomorrow...

[Pooh]

I thought this was a good discussion too.  I think it is healthy and educating to see both sides of an issue.  In doing so, I can sometimes change my mind because I didn't think of something someone else did.  I don't ever give my opinion here with expections of anyone changing theirs.  The only mind I can change is my own.

[luise.volta]

Well, you might radically help someone here to shift a perception and expand...but you will probably never know who or when. A lot of us are pretty open and willing to grow.

[oreilly]

Hi all, well that was some debate!!!
To be honest I think the only loser in my situation is my dear GS who will be caught in the middle of this dreadful situation. I have tried every which way to sort it out but its now down to DS, I told him after the latest hoo haa that his priority is to his son and unborn child. My DH and I have really reached the end of our tethers with it and have made a vow to let them get on with it as we think rightly or wrongly that we can do no more. Its difficult to tell all the facts with a few words here, but be assured I and Dh have always treated Gf with the utmost respect and the outburst fron DH on the phone was very out of character but understandable considering the way he was spoken to. Where is manners and respect for a older man and who has only ever been supportive and loving. Anyway no more, I appreciate all your comments, thoughts, advice. but ultimately no-one can help until GF will talk to us. Up to date nothing from DS who promised to be in contact, I love and worry about him but its his life and his choices. I pray it will all end well.
Much love and thankyou  xx

[LaurieS]

LOL 

"Disclaimer:  It is not my intention or my goal to get Laurie in trouble.  She does it so well on her own, she doesn't need my help."

[LaurieS]

Hi all, well that was some debate!!!
To be honest I think the only loser in my situation is my dear GS who will be caught in the middle of this dreadful situation. I have tried every which way to sort it out but its now down to DS, I told him after the latest hoo haa that his priority is to his son and unborn child. My DH and I have really reached the end of our tethers with it and have made a vow to let them get on with it as we think rightly or wrongly that we can do no more. Its difficult to tell all the facts with a few words here, but be assured I and Dh have always treated Gf with the utmost respect and the outburst fron DH on the phone was very out of character but understandable considering the way he was spoken to. Where is manners and respect for a older man and who has only ever been supportive and loving. Anyway no more, I appreciate all your comments, thoughts, advice. but ultimately no-one can help until GF will talk to us. Up to date nothing from DS who promised to be in contact, I love and worry about him but its his life and his choices. I pray it will all end well.
Much love and thankyou  xx

We all pray it ends well for you.

I kinda butchered your name earlier with my O'Reily spelling  sorry its the upcoming holiday

[Mariatobe]

Louise - sorry about the Natl. Enq. comment.  But I feel when someone is condescending to every post I have it gets old.  Some people need to get their own ideas and not take one quote out of context.  That's just silly and wrong.

[luise.volta]

M - When ever anyone says I'm sorry "but"...I never read the rest.

There are many personalities here. You can always leave a thread if you feel uncomfortable. Keep that in mind. Finding someone condescending is a perception...name calling is an attack.

[LaurieS]

I'm glad you posted back orieilly.  I do hope you get to see your grandchildren.  I can see how you are hurting.  Its just....look, speaking as a DIL I think you and DH should sit down with GF and apologize.  NOT on email, but in person.  DH had no business calling her a nasty name and she had every right to say to someone remove the pic.  Its her baby, and her body.  Sometimes men can be dense about this stuff.  You need to ask the mom if you can show a sonogram pic.  You didn't consider her feelings.  Anyways....
As to why she doesn't like you...sometimes you may never know.  For instance...I do not like my MIL as she is an obsessisive compulsive neat freak who is extremely narcisissitic and her main goal in life is to brag about knowing people with a lot of money.  She talks about it over and over again.  Does this make her near and dear to my heart?  No.  Will I ever tell her about it?  No.  Because she's my husband's mother.  But quit thinking everything is GF's fault, because I can guarantee its not, and look to forgiveness, and communicate with her and APOLOGIZE to her.  If you are serious about seeing your grandkids, you have to do that, in person, and make amends with her.  She's been extremely hurt, and you and DH have the power to keep blaming her, feel you did nothing wrong and NEVER see your grandkids,  Or you can go to her, apologize, start new (or as new as you can), consider HER feelings in the future, and have a much happier life WITH your grandkids.  I did say this before, but she holds all the cards, NOT your son.

Mariatobe.. here is  your original post that I pulled that one sentence from.  I do not feel that I took that statement out of context as I felt that it summed up beautifully what your entire post referenced.  The views you expressed were worthy of discussion and I appreciated the other dil's doing so without the snide National Enquirer remark. But we all have our own way of communicating and for that reason no reply was required on my part.

I took the time to look back over your postings and with the exception of a time where I felt that an action could be looked upon as manipulation and you disagreed, I do not see where I  have been condescending or that there has been any conflict between us.

[Mariatobe]

I never called anyone a name.  Just my perception when someone takes one quote out of context, that's wrong.  Whenever someone attacks someone for one quote taken out of context, that's wrong.  Can't deny it happened.  I give my honest advice.  If someone doesn't like it, then they need to form their own ideas, not take one of mine and rip it to shreds.  That's wrong, and low. 

[Mariatobe]

FYI - I will be moving on to other posts and greener pastures now.  I will not be reading or responding to this post anymore.  He said she said doesn't go anywhere.  Time to move on...
Oreilly - I truly do hope you can make peace with your DIL.  For the sake of your grandchild, new baby on the way, and your family.  I gave you the best advice I could, as I am a DIL, and spoke from the heart.  Good luck.

[luise.volta]

M - You are beating a dead horse. It is my perception that referring to someone as condescending is name calling. What you haven't seemed to have figured out yet is that this my forum. If you take me on, there is no democratic process. Clean up your act and walk carefully if you want to stay.