What to do now????

[Eva]

thank you everyone
I am praying that next month son let us see our GDs

[JaneF]

I am glad for you as well. My hope is that your DS will continue this practice. I hope you are protecting yourself in the event he does not bring the grandkids back for a while. I have been through that heartbreak, and finally learned to never expect anything. My wish is that all goes well for you of course. I really feel angry when grandkids are used as pawns. Taking away anyone in a childs life that only has love for them, and would never do anything to harm them is just cruel to the innocent kids. I include aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other relatives! How can you teach kids the "do unto others" ideal if you act like a nincompoop? (spelling). I am saddened by the people in the world who are intolerant of others and cannot get along, or have a need to be mean and nasty to others. We are setting a poor example for the next generation. It sounds like you really enjoyed your visit, and so did the kids...what a blessing.

[Eva]

Jane thank you,
the hell our son's new wife bring into our lives,
the hell she put us through, I am sure he wont..

3 years ago when she came first into our lives, she told me
that her ex did brings only worst in her,
but our son brings only good in her
well if this is good -so it is not so good for our son and his 2 girls..
she also said her ex was physically and verbally abusive with her,
that her parents living with them had to call cops on her ex to stop the fights..
and she had restraining order on her ex
then next month she was telling me how she always wanted 4 children,
that her ex family mother, sister all love her very much
but he did not want any more children so they divorced
and living with our son her dream come truth,
but she wanted more children..

in the meantime our son changed so badly
that from happy, easy person
everybody loved he turned into an angry, unhappy person
complaining how everybody hates him and use him
quit his job and took his employer to court -son lost

this is my biggest fear what could happen to our son
and I do not want to sound paranoid -
but he was dating her for 2 month and during sex
she jumped on him and broke son's 2 ribs..
I came to his house to help him with his girls,
but she already moved in
son was telling, that she is so sorry that she want to help him..

and next thing they want call cops on me and
want have restraining order on me
telling that if mother (me) stop by when girls are in their house-
to call cops and call him right away
what a nightmare
when his brothers or DILs asked why -
son and her say that I am crazy,
I have schizophrenia ans I am danger to girls
and I need to be lock up in mental institution..
________________________

http://www.mysterycrimescene.com/heart-full-of-lies.html
Heart Full of Lies:
Liysa Northon (2003)
Ann Rule

Heart Full of Lies is a true crime story of love, betrayal, greed and violence. Liysa King Northon, a woman who murdered her third husband, Chris Northon, in order to collect his insurance money, had a lifetime of sociopathic manipulations and lies which had been expertly hidden behind her façade of perfection as well as her rage to destroy any obstacle to her ultimate happiness, even if it was the man she vowed to love forever.

In March of 1996, Chris Northon, an airline pilot, married Liysa King, a writer and artist. The last two years of the marriage Liysa began telling anyone who would listen that she was the victim of verbal and physical spousal abuse, that her husband drank and smoked pot constantly and became very violent. He had threatened to kill her if she left and took their young son. Liysa had made reports of domestic abuse with police but no charges were ever filed against Chris Northon.

In the fall of 2000, Liysa convinced Chris to go on a camping trip with her and their small son in the remote forests of Oregon.  Later that night, Lisa rushed to friends, telling them she had shot Chris in self-defense after he beat and tried to drown her. She claimed she shot him while running from him; however, Chris's body was found zipped in his sleeping bag with a bullet directly between his eyes. Oregon detectives suspected they were looking at homicide but had little evidence to prove it.

Liysa later admitted to ending her husband's life by shooting him in the head but only in innocence and fear which were caused by her years as a victim of domestic violence. But according to her husband's parents and other sources, Liysa was a manipulative sociopath who spent years crafting a public bluff of abuse persuasive enough to justify the cold-blooded murder of her husband.

Liysa King Northon was tried and found guilty of manslaughter. She was sentenced to serve twelve years at the Coffee Creek Correctional Facility in Wilsonville, Oregon, with an estimated release date of October 9, 2012. She will be eligible for Parole in 2011.

In February 2004, Liysa Northon filed a complaint against Ann Rule claiming her book, Heart Full of Lies, damaged her reputation because she has always claimed that she was the victim of domestic violence at the hands of Chris Northon and that she acted to protect herself and her children. The suit also names the prosecutor Daniel Ousley, claiming Ousley falsely told Rule "there was no evidence Chris Northon used drugs or was abusive to his wife." The suit was dismissed but Liysa Northon appealed the dismissal. Rule's attorneys moved for attorney's fees. Attorney fees were awarded.

Liysa Northon has always claimed and still claims she was a victim of spousal abuse. A web site for her side of the story has been set up at Liysa Northon's Story. Very interesting.

[luise.volta]

I can't go there...

[Eva]

Louise nether I
but too much similarities in our problem and Invisible pain
is what opened my eyes and I am praying since that day for INVISIBLE 
that  God would help her and would bring her granddaughter back to INVISIBLE life
and that God would  protect my son and help him and his 2 daughters to be safe
THANK you and ALL wise ladies here those who help most...

I keep journal with pictures, date, behavior of son and girls-
  for 2 times now we see both girls they came with uncombed hair,
  older girl had pantyhose I bought for her 2 years ago, way to small for her now,
  both girls were dressed in clothes one size smaller

little one was telling me that her dollies got broken so she had non at home now
no dolly, no toys, no puzzles -let her take one big puzzle home with her (she loved puzzles)
I let her pick up dolly from my dolls porcelain collection,
let her play with it, and promise her I would take a good care for her new dolly,
told her  that her dolly would wait for her just here, where she put it to sleep on spare bed under blanket
* eyes just shine as she was giving me big hug telling me she love me..
at least I make her smile and happy

  son for 3 time as we see him, came in came old wear out clothes -
  looks he stop taking proper care of himself

did not bring any present or card for his father for his birthday
it is OK as I help his  girls to make cards as those cards are more special b/c they are from their hearts
______________________________________

126 Invisible
Grandchildren / Re: Granchild's birthday
« on: November 10, 2009, 09:10:23 AM »
When my son was alive I had open communication with him. I would call and he would swing by my house pick up my granddaughter Birthday gift. They always had a party but since his wife did not like me I was not invited.

OK, now my son is dead. I have been told by my DIL I am not allow to give my granddaughter gifts. But I have sent my granddaughter a card for her Birthday with a coupon for a "fun day."  I am not allowed to celebrate holidays with my granddaughter but I took her horse back riding. Once my granddaughter asked me, "What did you give me for my Birthday?" I told her we went horseback riding. She seemed to remember and understand.

I will continue to send cards with "fun day" coupons.

All I can suggest is to do whatever you can to let your grandchild you love and care.
______________________________

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Saw Something Heartbreaking Today
« on: January 06, 2010, 06:54:05 AM »
I bought things for my GD just to find out later she never received them...my DIL just threw the gifts in the garbage. So my "solution" I do not spend a lot on any items that go home with her. I am not allow to participate in Christmas, Birthdays, Easter, ...etc. so I just send a card with a "fun day" coupon. When my GD visits we are always on the move Circus, horseback riding, roller skating, bike riding, bowling...etc. My rationalization, is giving my GD the gift of time. I don't think anyone else gives her the time of day. (Her mother makes her eat her meals by herself in her room.) Her mother does not play with her, take her to parks.....nothing.

I am not going to worry about the physical gift giving. Especially since I know my gifts end up in the trash.

   

[luise.volta]

Eva, you need to take your concerns beyond this site to where they can be individually addressed. It feels to me like your anxiety if building and we aren't helping. That happens sometimes and it is better not to continue. Sending love...

[Pen]

Eva, my feelings go along with Luise's. I understand (oh boy, do I) why you've been going over old posts and sad stories from others, but at some point it can become "wallowing" which can lead to spinning your wheels in bitterness. You are too wonderful a person for us to wish that outcome on. Please take care of yourself, perhaps by limiting your wallow time and trying to spend more time on positive, healing activities that will lead to progress. Best wishes, dear Eva...please take care.