DAUGHTERS POISON

[LaurieS]

Well some do actually uncontrollably cringe   My daughter is an eye roller.. she said that I tend to squint as I'm feeling uncomfortable or becoming irritated.. my dh waves his hand in the air and says 'yes, dear'... lol... do tell what do you do Pen?

[holliberri]

I'm not sure. It took us 5 of the last 6 years we've been married to stop the shopping for extended family, and we still get asked about it from time to time (my DH hasn't seen some of these family members in 7 or 8 years). That didn't go over well, and that was our money!

I try really hard to remember that MIL doesn't live near us, and the gifts are her way of being there all the time. I also know that while it is a LOT in quantity, she buys year round and on discount (that's the only way you would get 5 of the same doll, right?) But, she definitely remembers what she bought and for who, and has always asked. My family is just as guilty, but they seem to forget what they bought, so it's easier, and believe it or not, my mom has jumped on board with me and gave us a nice chunk of change to put in her savings account in lieu of gifts (yay!!).

She got DD the NICEST porcelain doll (different than the dolls mentioned earlier, by the way) this Christmas that I put on display until DD gets older. I tried really hard to show my appreciation for that and how special that would be for DD one day. It was something done for her when she was younger, so she wanted to repeat the gesture...I loved that, so much thought went behind that. One great gift says so much more than 100 gifts, I think.

She's never mentioned it, but I'm sure there is a savings account for DD somewhere too, so if she's already doing that AND getting the gifts, I'm not really sure how to provide some redirection. I think if I approached it that way, she would say, "But I'm already doing that too."

To each their own, right?

[Pen]

Well some do actually uncontrollably cringe   My daughter is an eye roller.. she said that I tend to squint as I'm feeling uncomfortable or becoming irritated.. my dh waves his hand in the air and says 'yes, dear'... lol... do tell what do you do Pen?

Moi? I am the master of the poker face - NOT! I've been accused of making a lot of unattractive facial expressions, LOL, from eye rolling to grimacing in pain. I'm really trying to stop, but too late for wrinkle prevention, alas. When I'm happy though, my smile is 1000 watts!


Holliberri, I'm glad your mom understands and is giving cash instead. Way to go Mom! The doll sounds like something your DD will appreciate when she's older - way to go MIL! They're on the right track, it seems. Perhaps you'll be able to avoid all the 'cringe-wrinkles,' LOL.

[holliberri]

Well some do actually uncontrollably cringe   My daughter is an eye roller.. she said that I tend to squint as I'm feeling uncomfortable or becoming irritated.. my dh waves his hand in the air and says 'yes, dear'... lol... do tell what do you do Pen?

Moi? I am the master of the poker face - NOT! I've been accused of making a lot of unattractive facial expressions, LOL, from eye rolling to grimacing in pain. I'm really trying to stop, but too late for wrinkle prevention, alas. When I'm happy though, my smile is 1000 watts!

Oh, I'm an eyeroller too, I've been caught on videotape not even knowing that I did it (sometimes, I don't even remember why). I chalk it up to being genuine!

[luise.volta]

Laurie, you are so bad! 

[sameoldsong]

Hi Irenic-
I'm new to the website so not really sure what the issue is with your daughter but not thinkin' it is a matter of being inundated with gifts.
No matter how many gifts or what the gifts are it is a matter of manners and respect to thank someone for any gifts received, if they could'nt thank you they could have at least acknowledged they were recevied.
My OGD's birthday was this week on the 13th and this is the first time in 17 years that I did not call her or see her to give her a gift. I attempetd for two days before her b/day to contact her as I wanted to take her to dinner  - once she answered the phone "What ??" then hung up  and the other two times sent me to her vm.I did leave her messages regarding a call back and asked that she call me back but she chose to call my DH instead. I requested he not answer his phone and he did not so she never tried to call after that.   My heart is aching but after much disrepect from my YD and my OGD I decided it was time to step back.
I think the bank account or bond idea is the best bet. My late father left some money for my grandchildren and for YD's kids we opened bank accounts. I think I may be going that route also for future occasions as am pretty certain will not be seeing them anytime soon.They are custodial bank accts and did require kids SS#'s.
Keep smiling Irenic - remember even though our feelings may be hurt -only we can make ourselves feel bad -we need to choose not to !   

[LaurieS]

You're a smart lady SOS, and great advice:  Keep smiling Irenic - remember even though our feelings may be hurt -only we can make ourselves feel bad -we need to choose not to !