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Privacy Issues

Started by mystory.14, December 27, 2010, 06:23:54 AM

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LaurieS

January 18, 2011, 11:16:00 AM #75 Last Edit: January 18, 2011, 11:29:29 AM by luise.volta
I just recorded the original True Grit when it was on tv the other day... hot cocoa, John Wayne.. my  house is a mess but you know, it's a great day to watch a movie.

Faithlooksup


ladyfirstdilsecond

Mystory--I would say no.  Think about it this way: If you wrote something terrible about your DIL when you were mad/upset/hurt, would you want her to see it?  If you posted questions about her behavior on this site, would you feel comfortable with her reading it?  If you wrote something about your DS when you were upset with him, would you want him to see it?  It's unlikely that you would.

As a person, your DIL does have a right to have an online diary and every right to say what she wants.  That's the beauty of a country where people have free speech.  You have the right to a diary and your words as well.  Nobody wants to be called out and screamed at (or even know that their MIL is reading) when they write things that they may truly believe at that moment.  It's not a "me generation" thing--you would be horrendously offended if someone read your paper-based journal, wouldn't you?  Same thing--except this is her version of the paper journal.  If you wouldn't leave a bright yellow sticky note in someone's paper journal saying you'd been there, I wouldn't suggest doing the electronic equivalent.

Best advice--if you find something you don't like, stop reading the online diary--it will save you loads of stress in the long run.

If I had an online diary, I wouldn't want my MIL to read it.  It would feel like snooping and, if I was 14, it would be a different story.  As an adult, though, she has the right to say/do what she wants without feeling like people are lurking over her shoulder ready to pounce if she says the "wrong" thing.  I know I would shut it down before I let my MIL read anything I had written because she feels like she has a right to criticize it.  It's an entitlement issue with my MIL--she feels entitled to tell me how to live my life with my husband, but she doesn't as I am an adult. 

luise.volta

What am I missing here? My diary is on Word and no one can read it unless it's a hacker. Since it would put most people to sleep, not-to-worry. To make something private publicly accessible doesn't make sense to me. When I want to share something in my dairy, like an Ah-ha...I copy and paste it to an email to the person I think would be interested. As I said, what am I missing here?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

I agree, Luise. It's a bit like celebrities who do outrageous things to be in the spot light but then claim to hate the paparazzi.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

holliberri

Pen,

Nail meets head. Negative attention is still attention.

LaurieS

The dil very effectively set her up for failure.. that is one game that isn't worth playing ... I would find it hard to believe that anyone would post something online and have the right to be upset when someone read it.  Kinda like the dumb cheerleader at my dd's school.. posted picture of her drinking in uniform on my space then was upset when the parents sent the photos to the school and ask for her to be removed from the squad... cheerleaders reasoning.. I only posted them on my own "my space" pages. 

Pen

Although I was thinking about signing up this weekend, I don't think I'm ready for FB. My friends and relatives post invitations to showers, parties, get-togethers...and I will just have to miss out. If DIL got upset over some FB misunderstanding it's quite possible we'd never see DS again. The risk is too high.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

LaurieS

You may be right Pen, in this day of mass miscommunication

holliberri

I LOVE Facebook, but I wish people would stop sending out the Facebook invites. I realize it is easy to send a mass e-mail out, but I'm just not used to considering that a real invitation to a party. I still call and say yes or no instead of clicking yes or no. Plus everyone I've seen RSVP normally puts maybe...it's like they're more noncommital about it b/c it's a virutal invitation. Besides, I have visions of accidentally inviting some old acquaintance to a party they'd never be comfortable at...then what? 

Tara

Lately since returning from India, I'm trying out a new fb strategy.  I just post one photo with a description a couple of times a week.    Nothing personal , I am not that comfortable doing more, however that in itself to my surprise  is quite a presence as are writing to me including my nephew, who I haven't heard from for awhile.    I still have my dil 'hidden' so I don't have to see what she writes, and resist the urge to look. 

luise.volta

Good for you! Stick with it!! We all know what's in a septic tank. No need to take the cover off and stick our heads in there. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Tara

Luise,  hahaha   8)  I've been feeling sorrow all morning and when I read this I laughed out loud


catchingup

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This is what I wrote on my facebook page when I was mad at someone.
Most of our enemies criticism of us can be seen as barbie doll clothes hanging on a washing line even the pegs seem oversized. They are known as"Hang ups"

Mariatobe

Hi, I haven't read all of the responses, but there is a part of me that says, if something is private, why post it online?  I have a journal at home I keep and write in when things bother me.  But I would NEVER put that online because I would be horrified if other people read it, as those are my own personal thoughts and feelings.  If you want to keep something personal, the internet is not a good way to go.  So, can you expect privacy when you have an online diary?  That sounds like an oxymoron to me.  Not sure if I'd say anything about it, are there problems she's writing about that are fixable?  Do you continue to read it?  You might not want to keep reading it.  But hopefully, all problems are fixable.  I hope it works out.