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Privacy Issues

Started by mystory.14, December 27, 2010, 06:23:54 AM

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luise.volta

And if we loved them unconditionally...we probably wouldn't be here, either. Right?

My little dog loves unconditionally. I think I do until I see that I have again drawn a line. Sometimes for survival...but none-the-less...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

Oh, and I do agree with Creme: she'll change her mind in a few years. Louise is right about venting being cathartic; I disagree with DIL's medium, but on some level she probably got some closure out of it. She may not have intended that you ever see it.  Unfortunately, because you saw it, it has unintended consequences.  I really think it was a bad medium; but it isn't totally out of the norm to have to get your rage out on paper (and better it to be in that form than in person, I think).

LaurieS

No it's my dil that I don't love unconditionally :)    I have to ask again.. where would this online diary be?  How did you access it?

holliberri

Laurie,

I think online diary is either a term for "notes" on Facebook, or blogs on a social networking site. I also know people can publish bulletins (we simply think everyone wants to hear our every thought...haha).

I think that is it, *unless* she has her own website and is a paid blogger, but that's probably unlikely. In which case, she's probably be fairly popular and know that family members may visit.

luise.volta

Sometimes on Word, I vent in bold print in 72 font! Wonderful! (And private...which is good because it's never very complimentary to me in the moment. )
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

Louise,

I am going to employ your coping strategy the next time I am feeling the need to vent!

erma

 ;D ;D ;D  hahahahah!!!! love that Laurie!! "its my DIL that i don't love unconditionally"  i love it!! :) ;) :D ;D

LaurieS

Glad I made you smile Erma. If nothing else I try to be honest :)

So this online diary.. the poster knew that everyone who has access to her fb pages would see it? That seems like a horribly cruel way to go about life.

holliberri

Maybe, Laurie. My dad really thought everything on the internet was for his own private use, but he never made his settings on Facebook that way.  Also, some people try to limit who can see what (you can make blogs or notes viewable to only a certain select group), but its cumbersome to do, easy to mess up, and if there is a glitch in security, everyone gets to see it anyway.

Tara

Laurie,  Have you had a chance to look at facebook yet?

Wise Women:
Re:  facebook.  One of my DIL's is active on facebook and is an 'extremist' politically which bothers me.
She says things  about my political party which are shocking and highly irritating.  I've 'hid' her on my
facebook (which I hardly ever look at) so her posts don't come up when I check in but sometimes I would go
and look her up to see how she is doing.  Then be shocked and upset again so I have decided just not to look!!! 
why do I need to know what outrageous and ignorant things she is saying?  It just makes me feel distant,
disappointed and angry.  I'm the kind of person likes to know whats going on but in this case, it doesn't
really serve any positive purpose!  I think I got the idea not to look here on this site.  thank you



LaurieS

All of my kids use facebook.. while my daughter was a minor my son would give me access to his page if we needed to know what she was doing.... yes I am one of those moms.. I probably checked up on her a handful of times .. since she has become legal age, I have no need to check up on her...  She learned early while playing ball in college that facebook can work against you if you aren't cautious... she also realizes that potential jobs are looking on pages like facebook and goggling your name.  I would be highly disappointed if my kids used facebook to rant, make political statement or post unacceptable photos.. people need to realize that the world is watching :) But I was not following the online diary thing.. think I have a grip on it now.

forever spring

Hello Mystory,
you had the chance to read what your DIL thought about you but only at one point in time. As we all know, often things are being said/written in the heat of the moment which we regret later and often apologize for. The general tenor of advice on this posting is to 'let sleeping dogs lie' and I agree with that.
However, I can imagine you thinking about what she wrote, especially in the small hours of the morning. It takes such a long time to purge those things. It's like a wound that takes time to heal.
Avoid reading FB in future? Could that be the answer? Not sure because FB can be fun and a great way of staying in touch also?! And why should these things affect our lives in such a destructive way?

Actually I do love DIL  :)  but I do not always like her.  ::) Should I tell her that? URGHHHH!  NO (72 pt)

lancaster lady

After what happened to me on FB I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not .People tend to say things on FB that they would never ever say if faced with the person they are ranting about .I agree it's a great way to keep in touch with friends and family until one word is taken out of context and twisted until it suits someone's sick purpose .I love the idea of writing a six page letter on word to get all your feelings out of your system ! Then that's what this lovely website is for ..lol
I reckon if you wouldn't say a thing to someone's face ,then don't say it on FB .I actually deleted my page so as not to offend my DIL AGAIN !My friends thought I had deleted them as they couldn't see my page ,so I started up again but I'm very wary of what I say .Anything I now read which offends me goes over my head and slides down my back ! These pages of WW has made me stronger once again and I thank you ....x

cremebrulee

January 17, 2011, 03:58:08 AM #28 Last Edit: January 17, 2011, 04:00:31 AM by cremebrulee
The people on FB that I'm friends with, don't go into rants...and as far as being politically charged, we all are individuals that have a right to our thoughts and feelings regarding our political and spiritual views...to me, today, people are way to sensitive, and it's jeprodising our freedom of speech...

I say if you don't like what someone is saying politically, then ignore it, and allow them they're views....no one is going to agree all of the time, and we all have our personal cultures...

Tara, don't be offended by how someone else thinks and feels, just embrace your own beliefs and be confident in them...your DIL may change political views several times throughout her life, but for now, just ignore it...and be well with yourself...and your own beliefs...we cannot and will never control the way others think and feel...and if we become offended by that, then we have to learn how to not be...again, this is your DIL's culture, not yours...and there is also a generation gap...so try and learn how to allow her, her feelings...and walk off into the sunset hand and hand with your own,  with a feeling of peace...

We may love many people in our lives, but we don't have to like some of they're actions and beliefs...however, that is what makes this world go round, and we have to understand boundaries, and allowance, along with confidence in our own selves...don't take it as if someone is attacking your own beliefs, personally, again, all it is simply put, is two ways of viewing things, and when you can accept that, you will obtain peace and understanding...instead of feelings that someone is saying your wrong for yours....

LaurieS

I know Creme that you will think that I'm out to say the opposite of you at any cost but.... I have to agree with LL...if you can not bring yourself to say something to someone directly then maybe you should leave it off of off fb or any other online social network.  Posting on those types of forums is solely with the intent of having others read your words.

Stating ones political views is a right of all Americans, unless you are not doing so in the proper place. You said:
Quote from: cremebrulee on January 17, 2011, 03:58:08 AM
The people on FB that I'm friends with, don't go into rants...and as far as being politically charged, we all are individuals that have a right to our thoughts and feelings regarding our political and spiritual views...to me, today, people are way to sensitive, and it's jeprodising our freedom of speech...

I say if you don't like what someone is saying politically, then ignore it, and allow them they're views....no one is going to agree all of the time, and we all have our personal cultures...

While I too believe in freedom of speech, there are always lines that can be crossed.  We do not know the extent of ranting that Tara was referring to, until I do I will withhold my views.  But ignoring a situation is sometimes the worse possible thing you can do.  When someone starts to use social networks to vent hatred especially towards another individual, or the government, we have learned in the wake of the Tuscon murders that intervention is a must.  Unfortunately Tuscon is not an isolated event.

While I'm sure this would never be your intention.  The last sentence of the quoted statement from you could be applied to my asking of Luise to close a thread that I found to be possibly offensive and definitely not WWU appropriate, last night.  Once again.. I wholeheartedly agree with freedom of speech, but as wrong as it is to yell fire in that movie theater, it's wrong to bash our government here on this site.  Am I being overly  sensitive?  Maybe, but that is why I'm on this site and not some government/MIL/DIL bashing site to begin with.