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A Suprise I did not expect for Christmas

Started by dablacks, December 24, 2010, 12:44:08 PM

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JaneF

January 01, 2011, 04:04:11 AM #15
Morningdove, first let me say I am not a professional and I agree you need to address these emotional issues with someone that is a professional. When I read your post it was like I was reading my own life story, no joke! My ex husband was also abusive, and we recently discovered he is bipolar. My son who will be 30 soon is also bipolar and like you said, about every two years he goes into a rage and calls me awful names or he does stupid stuff like cheat on his wife or use drugs etc. My son recently cut me out of his life, so I do not talk to him or daughter in law, nor do I see grandaughters. I have been depressed by these things before myself, so I understand how you feel. I chose to go get help and counseling at that time...and it did a world of good! It was suggested to me many many years ago by a therapist that my husband (now ex husband) had gay issues too! We divorced 24 years ago. There are many wise ladies here that can offer you support and kindness. A lot of us have very similar circumstances. Blessings to you.

Faithlooksup

January 01, 2011, 06:41:55 AM #16
Hi Donna,~~~~~ NO you are right~~dont ask your DS if he is Gay... and if he is he will someday come out of the closet and admit it~~but only when he is ready.  My X is 57 years old and he just admitted this back in june 2010, and I just found out a few weeks ago.  Apparently my YS asked him if he was gay and he finially told the truth.  So, someday, some where in time it will happen.
"Perhaps", and In my humble opinion if he is living with this lie, he has to be mad at someone, and unfortunately you are it Mom, why I dont know it is just the way it is.  While My X was hiding all these years~he made me the bad guy all the time...and now that he told the truth about himself I only hope and pray he will tell the truth about everything else, to come clean with all his lies especially about me.  WOW, I would even give him a HUG if that ever happened....
Peace and Happy New Year.....Faith

Faithlooksup

January 01, 2011, 06:54:44 AM #17
Hi Morningdove and Welcome!!!!  Please understand you are not alone with your pain, hurt and anger.
But Please promise us you will not hurt yourself anymore....There is help everywhere all you have to do is reach out.
You were and are a Good Mother so be proud of that.  Why our children are acting the way they are is a mystery to all of us....Do we deserve it~~hell noooooo, but its happening for some reason.
May I suggest a book which I purchased and do like, its called:  When Parent Hurt  by:Joshua Coleman PHD.  This book may give you some valuable insight...

I am sorry about your Dad, may he rest in peace and remember all the wonderful memories you shared with him, hold that near in your heart.

If your DS is going to call you up and rant and rave just hang up on him or tell him, "if you have nothing nice to say to me dont say anything at all." and hang up..... Its called tough Love.

But 1st things 1st...You need to take better care of you, before you tackle anything else...
Sending Peace and HUGS your way...Faith

dablacks

January 03, 2011, 02:41:02 PM #18
Faith,
Thank you for your support, you are a savy woman and I admire you.  I read your post a few times and it is filled with worthwhile advise.

My very best to you,
Donna

luise.volta

January 03, 2011, 08:11:50 PM #19
You're one of the "gang."  :D Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Faithlooksup

January 04, 2011, 06:29:16 AM #20
Quote from: dablacks on January 03, 2011, 02:41:02 PM
Faith,
Thank you for your support, you are a savy woman and I admire you.  I read your post a few times and it is filled with worthwhile advise.

My very best to you,
Donna

Why Donna Thank You~~how very kind, I appreciate that!!!   We are all here to help and maybe, just maybe we might all figure it out together someday~~for "Great Minds Think Alike..."
Just go with your gut feeling about everything~~you are doing good~~sometimes we do not see the light at the end of our own tunnel.  But its there we just have to keep on moving forward to find it...
Peace and hugs,  Faith :)

dablacks

January 04, 2011, 01:47:34 PM #21
Luise, Thank you so much for your reply, I knew from the beginning you are "Top Shelve". Your comment was what I needed at this time.

Faith, Thank you so much too!!!   I did buy that book, "When Parents hurt", and have read less than a third.  I avoid reading at night as this will keep me awake.  It explains so much now, the light bulbs have been popping here,  HAHAHAHAHA  ;D


Morningstar, go on the computer each morning and read the blogs.  You will see that you have so much worthwhile advise to share with the world.  Reach out and help someone, it will feel wonderful.

Hugs to All,
Donna
ps:  I work full time and sometimes can not go online everyday.  Working to save so I don't have to work for someone else someday.
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