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Intuition tells me its time to reach out

Started by neecee, January 08, 2011, 01:48:10 PM

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luise.volta

What a powerful thread this is! I am touched by the wisdom an compassion! Sending..love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

Quote from: courtney on January 13, 2011, 11:17:59 AM
I agree with pam1 too, the bottom line being the son and his father making peace. Really, if this can happen and they get a firm handle on trusting each other, all others will have no recourse but to follow. And if the father and son do not ever get along, why would it be important for anyone?
Perhaps the older brother can help with this.
      Each situation is so different, but my older daughter admitted to me how stressful it was for her to hear from me how her sister was treating me, and to hear from her sister how awful she thought I was to her...it put her in the middle, as she wanted a relationship with both of us. I stopped immediately, as I had no idea before that how painful it was for her. So maybe involving the older brother is not such a good idea, if he is like my older daughter.
    Also- If the bio mom is also now getting 'some bad behaviors' from her son & his wife, I'm sorry but I do not understand how this indicates they are ready to be civil to anyone else. Perhaps they are just not nice people.
  Which leads me back to my thoughts of letting the dad & son see if they can make a go of being friends.
  Best wishes to you with this very difficult family problem. -Courtney

Sound advice Courtney, and so true...whenever this happens, no matter who we involve, it puts them in the position of wanting or having to choose sides....estrangement is like a divorce, and as  in any relationship, involves so many others...and causes the entire family much stress...oh, if only we could all just get along?  I strongly feel, we learn about ourselves to the day we take our last breath, and in situations like this, we can learn so much if we'd only apply ourselves and be honest with ourselves...upon my divorce, it was extremely painful....and someone told me, once I got to the point of self examination, and when I stopped blaming him, all the answers to all my why's would come, and they did...and then I could start forgiving and move on...and it's so true with any relationship...if you hold grudges, pain and fight constantly to be right, it puts you in a very dark place...for me, the surrender was very enlightening...