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Death of a Mother in Law

Started by Prissy, May 11, 2009, 07:08:38 PM

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2chickiebaby

Ditto, Mom2....almost to a tee except mine started the day after the wedding. She was pure butter before.

I'm afraid to tell all that happened, the world seems to be so small. I felt sorry for her after son broke off with her and got them back together after her working on me non-stop.  I fell for it.

She is a bull and I don't want to be around her either.  The whole place seems like a morgue when she is in it.  She brings a pall over the place like a huge cloud. 

I don't want them here at Thanksgiving....because of her, I hate the holidays. I once loved them and so did our kids.  She has caused irreparable damage in our life. I wish I'd never seen her face.

I guess she's coming here to get her presents.  I think I told you about the dust that she says is here (maid once a week)  Sometimes I want to bring Prissy out of the attic when I'm around her so she can take care of it. 

I'm sick of being the punching bag, they know I'm sensitive so they know they can hurt me.  I think that makes her feel big and victorious. 

mom2

Chickiebaby,

God Bless you. Although I am glad to know I am not alone, I hate to see others who have been treated like I have.
I can't stand my Dil either but my son is not exempt because he allowed all this and he helped her do it; I was tag teamed. Before all this happened, they ( her too ) were my heartbeat as far as loving them.

I wish my problem had started right after the wedding because I wouldn't have had a little Grandson yanked from my life.I would rather have not loved than to have him yanked from my life.

I can't even look at them and not be reminded of how they have treated me. So if a happy little life ,without me in it, is what they wanted, they got it. They lost too... a Mother who loved them, a safe place for their children , holidays etc...

                                                             Peace



                                                              Peace

2chickiebaby

Dear Mom2,
Every word you said breaks my heart because I don't want anyone to know this kind of pain.  It's the exact same pain I felt when my Mother died.  I was 7.   I do wish they had shot me.  I would have at least not had to see and feel all this.

Can anyone recommend a book on how to be a B***?  I would like to know how to become one.  I need training on how to treat people badly, not because I want to but to know how to love myself so that I won't be a punching bag.   Anyone?

Pen

Hi all - I'm new to this site, and I've been a MIL for just over a year. Everyone's stories are so touching, and some are exactly like mine. I was totally blindsided by my DIL's rejection and apparently hatred for us after the wedding (now in hindsight I realize there were signs right before and during the wedding, but we chalked them up to pre-wedding stress.) My son is not happy about this, but we've told him his wife comes first - if they need counseling or whatever they should get it, as my son is keen to do. Of course, my heart is broken and I'm looking forward to being shut out of any future grandchildren's lives as well. We've been great in-laws! We never pop in, only stopping by when they request because they need something from us. We paid part of their rent, helped them move, helped them clean, loaned them a car, etc. etc. We paid what we could for the wedding but apparently didn't do enough. What I need are suggestions on how to move on? I've been journaling and my husband and I try to stay busy with work, recreation and house projects - what else should I be doing??
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

mom2

Penstamen,

Welcome ! I am new too but have already found all things in common with a lot of wonderful Moms/ladies.

My advice to you is , don't even try to do anything more.. leave it alone because it is her problem.
Some DIL's are just NOT having the MIL in their ' husbands ' lives. I just hope your son doesn't turn on you. It took mine awhile but they got the job done.  Letting her know you don't care is probably her best medicine. Again, welcome.                                             Mom2

mom2

Chickiebaby,

If ya find the book I will need a copy of that.

I could write a book on what all has been said and done to me.

                                                                                 
                                                                                Mom2

                                                         


2chickiebaby

Welcome Pestamen,
Our club is hard to get through and I think Mom2's advice about letting them know you don't care is the best advice if you can do it.

I can't seem to...I'm stuck and if anyone can name a book on how to become a B***, please let me know!!!  I mean it.

2chickiebaby

I am SO sorry,  Penstemen!  I spelled your name wrong!! So sorry.

2chickiebaby


luise.volta

I think it's sometimes hard to show we don't care when we care so deeply...but we can always decide no to play. It's a no-win situation and when we react to being baited and let it take us down...we become part of the walking-wounded.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama