I genuinely want to know what you think.

[catchingup]

These may be famous last words as I do not have grandchildren yet.
I  Want no GP baby shower
I dont see a need to be at hospital when the bavby is born
I dont want to feed the baby from a bottle of its mothers milk
They can name it " Little devil" if they wish for it shall grow up and answer me and them back.
I want to spend my golden years free of worrying about how the little devils are born,bred and fed.
This is me time

[lancaster lady]

most of the Maternity Units in the UK are kept locked and can only be entered by the staff .
visitors have to be passed before they can enter .This is to prevent people stealing newborns , also to
keep infection at bay .
so no likee , no entree .....lol

[holliberri]

LOL, LL. It is supposed to be that way at our hospitals. Our maternity ward was locked but the waiting room was just outside the surgery area. So....it would be pretty easy to just roll up there in scrubs and say you need to take a newborn; although it would have been harder to get into the maternity ward. I actually wrote a letter about this to the hospital board.

I believe it happens 11 times a year in the U.S. (and by happens, I mean attempts).

Also, the scrubs themselves seem to symbolize ultimate authority. So many people are in and out asking for your baby for tests (vitals, hearing, bilirubin, etc.), that I think parents stop questioning who is taking the baby after awhile. One nurse rolled her eyes at me when I asked to see her ID.

They also have a GPS tracking device on the babies ankles now, although I'm not sure how hard they are to remove. They have done studies and even seasoned nurses will see someone in scrubs and not think a thing of it, and allow them access to just about anything.

The sad part is, some women establish a relationship with the parents before taking their newborn, that way the parents think nothing of handing her their child and letting her leave the room. Just awful.

One woman just found her birth mother afer a few decades; she questioned the story she received from who she thought was her mom and started googling. She found a photo that looked just like her newborn baby. DNA tests proved she was taken at birth. So sad. At least the world is smaller now.

[lancaster lady]

Imagine having your baby stolen .....couldn't even contemplate the feeling .
My ODS went touring after graduating , disappeared with a ticket round the world and a backpack .
I felt as if I had lost a limb ....and I knew he was coming back ....eventually .

[LaurieS]

With my first there was another woman two rooms down with the same name as I... we both spelled first and last names the same... before I even got to see my baby they were delivering beautiful baby pictures.. of course I should have caught on but in the state of mind that I was, I just went on and one with my mom on the phone about how beautiful my baby is.. he looks  just like the Gerber baby I said...   In comes this child that closely resembled the comic Gallagher... still I didn't catch on and thought he was exceptionally photogenic.

Even if it's not the outsiders that you are trying to keep away from your babies, it could be the other new mothers, I had developed shingles with only weeks let to my delivery date, so while I was not contagious, we were taking no chances.... The staff could have just as easily brought me her baby instead of mine, and they were about to until my mother put it all together.... lol.. she reached the other Laurie and at first thought I was delirious from drugs or something... it came down to middle names to figure out what was going on.

There is just to much going on around the birth of a child to be inundated with well wishers.. IMHO

[holliberri]

Laurie,

I forgot about the shingles. I remember having them and the doctor was like, "We have to keep an eye on this and make sure it gets cleared up."

I was like, "Why couldn't this happen after she was born???"

He shook his head and said, "Actually, this is a great time, we've got 20 weeks to clear it up. If you contracted it closer to delivery, you could give it to your baby as she's being born, and then it could spread to all of the other babies as well."

Silly me.

[LaurieS]

No they don't take to many chance with babies and shingles, had I contracted them any closer to my due date he would have been born c-section... as it turns out that is what we should have done anyway

[Anna]

The birth? Oh no, grandparents feel they should be there--after all, it IS their first grandchild
Not sure why you find this offensive, if the gp want to be there it is because they are excited and happy about the birth of their first gc. It is up to you who is in the labor room but what harm could come from some very excited people in the waiting room .  Would it be better if those same gp paid the event no attention and acted like it was no big deal?  I am sure if that was the case, we would be reading how the gp showed no interest in the birth of their gc


Feeding the baby? Even if you BF, GPs think you should pump so they can bond that way too, with the child. Feeding the baby is a necessary thing and in all liklihood the gps are not there all that often. I always felt that it was important that they became familiar with their gc should they babysit in the future and that way they would get to know the baby's habits etc. 

Announcing the baby? How many times have we read about posts on FB, or sending out X-mas cards, or birth announcements? I think announcing that you have had a grandchild is just something that the gp want to share with their friends and family.  I have never seen a birth announcement from a gp nor have I ever seen a Christmas card from a gp . Those two instances might be considered a bit over the top.

Showers? Please---GPs showers are growing in popularity, and they make me sick (yes, MIL had one). Never heard of one other then perhaps gp giving the new mom a shower.

Choosing the name? Again, we hear time and time again about GPs who feel they have the right to either pick the name themselves, or comment on the ones we've picked. I think all gp feel that they should at least be able to offer suggestions and perhaps comment on ones you have picked but ultimately the choice is yours.  Here in Sweden,  you would really have a problem because once you pick a name, it has to be approved by the government and they have vetoed many in the past.

Mother's Day? Not only do we have to share these days, but now there is also GP's day, and even the lovely MIL's day. Ugh. Seriously Before those gp were gp they were also mom and dad.  As far as I know their status of moms did not end once their children got married.  Mother's day is a day that honors mothers and motherhood and is shared from the begining of time by all mothers, someday you will also be a gp and mil and will have to share those days as will

I think what is missing here is the realization that any child with a loving family foundation and support network will only benefit from the experience and you should enjoy that your child is so loved.

Well said!!  Especially the last paragraph! 

[catchingup]

No they don't take to many chance with babies and shingles, had I contracted them any closer to my due date he would have been born c-section... as it turns out that is what we should have done anyway

Shingles comes from the chicken pox virus and is only contagious if athe person has not had chickenpox . Someone who has not had chicken pox can therefore be infected with chickenpox if they come into contact with shingles.
Obviously a baby can be infected at birth.

Joke in our newspaper this evening

A woman received the following letter from her daughter-in-law
Dear mother-in-law
Please do not tell me how to raise my children.
I am married to one of yours and I believe there is room for improvement
Regards
Your daughter-in-law

[pam1]

LOL Funny enough, my MIL would actually enjoy a card that says something like that.  She does have a good sense of humor sometimes.  I'm going to have to make one up for her.

[luise.volta]

Hilarious!!! 

[Nana]

I always felt flattered about my kids having so much love from my family and husband's family.  I did wanted all to enjoy my kids.  They were nurtured with loved coming from everyone around them.  They had  great emotional health.... I thank God they had grandparents who cared about them.  I let them be real grandparents and my children (all grown now) have lovely memories of their grandparents.    Different perspectives. 

I know this is not always possible.  Circumstances are different for all of us.  My in-laws were good people who respected me, my husband and my kids.  They were not pushy or intrussive...

Cant understand what is so wrong about being in the hospital waiting room, just waiting to hear the good news.   Nevertheless I would (and have) always respect my dil's wishes.

Love

[pam1]

Nana, you make a good point.  With my DD's fathers family, I'm so grateful that they take this much of an interest in her.  Her grandparents take her on vacations, makes sure she keeps relationships with extended family.  They are loving and respect me.  Grandma even still tells me she loves me and calls to check up on me, personally without talking to DD.

I've often felt with DH that his family is only interested in me being a birthing cow.  (I posted some of my infertility story previously)  They have *never* asked me questions about myself that would indicate a social nicety.  They've asked amazingly intrusive questions though, about my health, my parents divorce, if my siblings have struggled with infertility etc.  They've *never* asked anything like what my father does, how my siblings are doing etc.  When I've had a family emergency they have never asked how family is doing and offered condolences or anything like that.  They will, however, keep calling at odd hours, waking our household up who desperately needs sleep to figure out if we're going to make it to their chalk drawing contest.  They have never asked about my heritage, I remind them every year that I'm irish, through and through and they still keep trying to insist that corned beef is a traditional dish lol. 

It may be stupid and petty at times, but it's amazing to me just how different my daughters family is and my husbands family.  It's almost like my husbands family treats me as an interloper who can only provide one useful thing, to extend their blood line.

[luise.volta]

Not ever possible understand when doesn't make sense. Sensing love...

[overwhelmed123]

Chalk drawing contest!  LOL!