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My three adult children hate me.

Started by BROKENHEARTMOTHER, December 16, 2010, 03:51:54 PM

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LaurieS

January 18, 2011, 11:17:21 AM #45 Last Edit: January 18, 2011, 11:29:16 AM by Laurie
and don't come up with that Monroe woman it wasn't her.

Found her 'Mae West'


luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

When the Lord passed out legs, I thought she said kegs and I asked for two big ones.

When the Lord passed out brains, I thought she said trains and I missed mine.

When the Lord passed out busts, I thought she said crusts and I said, "No thanks."
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

neecee

Oh Laurie!  I laughed til I cried!  Those were the funniest church lines.  DH sitting on his computer next to me thought I lost my mind...when I started reading them to him...he did the same!
Made my day. I am recovering from pneumonia and my immune system really needed that laugh!

Gram

Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2011, 09:48:54 AM
Quote from: Gram on January 17, 2011, 09:12:55 PM
I am always amazed at how uplifted and understood I feel in WWU. I am also in awe (really) of Luise. You are so insightful, witty, compassionate, and wise....need I say more? Sometimes I'd like to crawl in your back pocket, and when I feel beat up by the world (DS and DIL that are still breaking my heart), I'd climb out and be encircled by your hug of understanding! Then all would be better with my world! (Yeah, I'm not thinking realistically , but it's nice to dream!) Thanks to Luise and to all of you for the blessings you are to me! Gram
awe wasn't that sweet.. you are an insightful old dame Luise

I actually meant my words about Luise and her comfort in difficult times; guess I got into the humor stream! Sorry.

Pen

Gram, sometimes silliness overtakes these threads. I think it's a matter of "laughing to keep from crying." I'm sure your heartfelt sentiments were taken seriously. I loved your post, BTW, but for some reason I didn't reply. So here I am now, letting you know.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

Well, I'm a "dame" ...and my name is "Luise"...and I often feel "grand"...but where does the "old" come in?  ;D ;D

Honestly, I do appreciate the kind words...they often keep me going...but I can get SO silly  :-[
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS


luise.volta

I know...I know, just horsing around. And actually I love being old!  :D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Mariatobe

I haven't read all of the other posts, but some of them.  Your children grew up with you.  They watched you make mistake after mistake with men.  Put yourself in their shoes.  You now have a brother who is having issues, and keeps guns in the house.  I would not go anywhere near there.  They are protecting themselves and their children (if they have children.)  What do you think it was like growing up there?  A cake walk?  I'm sorry to be harsh, but if a relationship with your children is important, you need to go to counseling, tell brother to find a new home, and get the chaos out of your life.  There is a POLICE REPORT with your name on it.  There was a GUN incident IN YOUR HOME.  I think you need to not blame your kids, but if you continue with these choices, you will live without them, as they are protecting themselves.  Did you protect them when they were younger and you were dating all these losers and bringing violence into your home?  Look at your life, and change it and get help.  Then maybe they will come around.  I'm sure they love you, they've just been hurt over and over again.  Good luck.

Pen

Mariatobe, I just reread BHM's OP and I'm not sure I understand your interpretation. BHM may have had chaos in her life, but it wasn't quite as you portray it. It sounds to me as if most of the chaos happened after her kids were grown and gone. I do agree that she needs help picking better partners, and as a social worker she probably has resources available. I hope she can improve that part of her life, too.

I was impressed by how hard she worked to provide a better life for her kids. I would have hoped her adult children would understand the circumstances and offer forgiveness and support, perhaps even a little gratitude for her effort.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

If you are a newbie and haven't read all of the other posts, it's easy to misinterpret. Just read for a while and it will start to fall into place and make more sense. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Mariatobe

I may be a newbie, but I'm not stupid.  This woman has had many boyfriends (husbands) that have abused her.  Sorry, but when I read something like that, my first thought is about the children in the home.  What was it like watching all these men come and go, and beat up your mother?  That sort of stuff usually comes with alcohol problems.  I don't need to read her other posts.  She had a brother with problems she let live in her home, and had a GUN incident.  This is NOT to be taken lightly.  I won't feel sorry for someone who's children won't talk to them, after envisioning how they grew up.  Did she EVER make time for them?  Or was she always working and getting another man?  Did she ever treat her children as number one, or was she worried about her next boyfriend?  I'm not saying this to be harsh, but look at the reality of the situation.
There was another poster on here who said her story had a number of holes in it.  I agree.  I think if she wants a relationship with her kids, she needs to take ownership of the fact they weren't raised in the greatest home, and hopefully, she is making much better choices.  Although the gun thing says to me, no, she's not.

Pooh

Maria, no one thinks you are stupid, just maybe not understanding her OP.  All the violence and abuse she said has occurred in the last few years, after her children were grown and gone.  I totally agree with you that her decisions as an adult, are on her and her children do not want anything to do with the situations that are occurring now, and I don't blame them either to a certain extent.  They could still offer support from afar and encourage her to get help, instead of writing her off.

But from her post, I see nothing but a single mother trying to make a better life for her children when they were in her house.  I am sure they harbor feelings of "Mom was never around" because she was working so much to help them, but as adults, I would hope they would go back and see the other side of how hard she worked, for them.

I think everyone was encouraging you to go back and reread her original post again.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell