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Is This The Kind Of Thing MILS Do?

Started by catchingup, November 29, 2010, 01:38:07 PM

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Pooh

Quote from: Laurie on February 10, 2011, 07:30:29 PM
Quote from: holliberri on February 09, 2011, 04:54:06 PM
I just got an e-mail from them: 7 for 3 dollars a piece! Better hit the store!  :D
hmmm I didn't see that offer.. was that just a email offer.. if so send me a copy..pretty please

I didn't get that offer either Laurie, so I am wondering if it was one by area.  I didn't make it by there yesterday, but I will this weekend to see.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

Hey Everyone,

Uh-oh...I meant 6 for $20. I don't  save my BB&W coupons. : ( I'll change that if you guys are  interested. I get them weekly.

But I did look on their website: all their Anti-bac foaming hand soaps are $3 bucks a piece, unlimited quantity. That's the only time I stock up on them.

LaurieS

Ok.. the 6 for 20 is offered nationally.. good I'll try for every extra buck I can.

Hope

From reading your posts, it sounds like a lot of your ds's visit your homes - lucky you!  We moved into our current home with only one of our three children still at home - and she was nearly out of the nest.  A busy teenager - not home much.  I don't think our adult kids think of our home as theirs.   :-[   Except our odd/sil come over quite a bit - and we relish every minute.  Hugs, Hope

cremebrulee

Quote from: Hope on February 12, 2011, 12:19:38 PM
From reading your posts, it sounds like a lot of your ds's visit your homes - lucky you!  We moved into our current home with only one of our three children still at home - and she was nearly out of the nest.  A busy teenager - not home much.  I don't think our adult kids think of our home as theirs.   :-[   Except our odd/sil come over quite a bit - and we relish every minute.  Hugs, Hope

Hope, when my parents moved, I didn't think of they're new home as mine anymore...I can't explain it, however, the home they lived in before, felt like home, b/c I grew up there, once they moved, it was a whole different feeling, and honestly I can't find the words to describe it, I don't know, felt like a guest, maybe is a good way, didn't feel comfortable going into the refrig and getting a drink, and my mom was always so accomodating, and would have never been insulted that I helped myself, however, do you think maybe that is how your children might feel? I dunno, just throwing an idea out there?


Hope

Thanks for your thoughts, Creme. I think you are right.  It is not their childhood home and I can understand them feeling like guests.  It's okay, but if only ds/dil would visit I would feel so much better.  I finally called our ds the other day and asked if there was a way we could see our gs more.  [We have seen him so little, that I could actually recall every visit with him over the last seven months.]  He said that he's been thinking a lot about it and he thinks they should visit both sets of parents once a month.   They live about 15 minutes from us and the same distance from dil's parents.  I told him that I was glad he was thinking about it.  It is progress, but I can't help but feel cheated b/c dil's parents and sister can drop in whenever they want to see him.  Also, it's common for our dil's parents to babysit him and the only time we had the opportunity was once after his bedtime on a work night, from 9:30 pm to 1:00 am.  I happened to be off work the next day, but my dh had to get up 4.5 hours after we made it home.  Our gs was down for the night when we arrived at their house, but he woke later and we fed him a bottle before putting him back to bed.  On the few occassions we get to see him, we are just two people in a sea of relatives since it is on holidays or special occassions.  I can't wait till our dd's have children so we can see what it's really like to be grandparents.
Hugs, Hope

LaurieS

Quote from: Hope on February 13, 2011, 08:08:30 AM
I can't wait till our dd's have children so we can see what it's really like to be grandparents.
Hope.. did you say that jokingly or do you see this as the turning tide... I'm curious as I have a dd that will be married (eventually) and while I've thought oh this is  my chance to help pick out a wedding gown, the thought of getting to see what it's really like to be a grandparent never popped into my mind.

I remember when you were asked to babysit late at night and we teased you about watching for the nanny cam.. was that the last time you got to interact with the child one on one?

Faithlooksup

My Home is open I have nothing to hide, you can look for whatever you need...BUT, if you go thru my desk drawers then I am going to have to question that....for toilet paper, tooth brushes and paste etc will NOT be in there... ::)

Hope

Faith,
I wouldn't like people rummaging through my personal stuff either.  I must admit that when I am a guest in someone's home and the toilet paper is gone and there's not any tissues in sight, I will look to see if there is some tp in the vanity.  That is where it starts and ends.  And I have no problem with anyone looking for tp in my bathrooms either.  :D
I don't ever recall anyone violating my privacy in my home.  Guess I'm lucky.
Hugs, Hope

Barbie

I can't wait till our dd's have children so we can see what it's really like to be grandparents.

Laurie, I know your question was directed at Hope, but speaking for myself, DH and I can't wait for our DD to have children so that we can experience what is like to be grandparents, unfortunetely she's having a very hard time conceiving.

Our only GD is 2 1/2 and we still don't feel like grandparents, it's sad. We see her every couple of months but she sees DILs FOO so much more, whenever i say something to DS he gets mad and blames me saying I don't have a good relationship with DIL, the truth is that even if DIL and I were on good terms, things would still be the same.

We're supposed to see her this weekend, we're all very excited and bought new toys for her to play with but we already know our DS will act like it's no big deal, nothing we do is good enough and a lot of the things we do are considered ridiculous.


Hope

Laurie,
I'm sorry - I did answer your question about whether I was serious about  looking forward to our dd's having children so we can see what it's really like to be grandparents.  The post disappeared!  I didn't realize it till now.
Anyway, I think what my vanished post said was that the only time we were alone with our gs was that one night when we babysat.  I did get to see him for a few minutes a couple times when we dropped something off at their house for dil/ds and twice I gave dil a ride home after bridesmaid dress shopping when we were planning ydd's wedding (they were having transportation issues at the time).  I enjoyed holding our gs for almost a half hour on those two occassions after I asked if I could come inside (I would have felt more welcome if dil had offered first).  Right after gs was born I helped clean their house for a showing and got to hold gs for a few minutes.  Other than those times, we were only two people in a crowd. 
This afternoon we were visiting my fil at the hospital (he just had his hip replaced) and low and behold, our ds/dil/gs walk in.  Both my dh and I immediately felt the tension in the room.  We held gs and made over him.  My dh comes from a large family and there were five people visiting besides me/dh/ds/dil/gs, but we made sure we had time with him.  The other people in the room had no idea that the last time I saw my gs was when they last saw him - on New Year's eve (except for the few minutes when we dropped off the large Christmas gift we gave dil that they didn't have room in their car to take home).  New development - dil got upset with dh again.  That dear man is so giving, considerate, and kind to her - I just don't understand it.  She saw that my husband had a picture of our gs on his phone and she asked somewhat annoyed how he got that picture.  He told her that he got it from her fb.  After she got home, she posted on her fb that someone was downloading pictures of gs from her fb and she wanted to know what she could do to stop it.  The only printed picture they have ever given us is one on Santa's lap.  I'm pretty certain that dil's parents get pictures regularly.  They have loads of professional pics taken.  I don't read dil's fb any more, but our ydd read it and called me quite upset about how they are treating us.  She's not alone.  Our niece told my dh that they (neice, nephew, and their spouses) were noticing the poor treatment toward us and they just don't understand why.  I know it's dil's problem.....and ds's.   
Hugs, Hope   

Nana

Dear Hope and Barbie

I feel like you do.  Yes we do think/wish about our girls having children and know what is like feeling as real grandparents.  I know it perfectly well because I once was in your shoes.  And that was exactly what I told my dil at one time that she did come to me to talk about our distant relationship.  I said "I know that you are the mother...I never pretended to be the mother....I just wanted you to let me be your baby's grandmother":  So I do know the feeling....and it is very sad.  I truly in my heart hope you get lucky just like I did, and you get to enjoy your gc. 

My two daughters haven't married yet....and when I was having a hard time seeing or holding my gs because of my dil, they will tell me "Mom, when I have children they will all be yours to enjoy "and of course I would start crying. 

I will pray for you both.

Love you
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

LaurieS

Here let me try this again.  Hope there is absolutely nothing wrong with your husband obtaining the babies photo for him to carry on his phone.  Your dil is sadly mistaken if she thinks that her postings are private and pictures not able to be copied by anyone who can see them on facebook. What is with these young parents to feel the need to take a power struggle to this level of hurt.. to me if they don't want to spend the money and have a picture printed for you then they should at least send you a electronic file so you can print your own... Where is your son on these decisions?

Scoop

Maybe the DIL was upset because if her FIL could get the pictures, then ANYBODY could.  Some people are really private about pictures of their kids, and with good reason too - there are some CREEPY people out there.

And please stop assuming that the DIL's parents have pictures.  You don't know for sure.  And it only hurts yourself to make that assumption.

If you want pictures, ask your son.  If you know that professional pictures were taken, ask him where, and if it's okay for you to go and buy some for yourselves.

I don't know, it seems like a lot of the Gma's here have these HUGE expectations on how much they should see their GK's.  Okay, my Mom & my IL's are both out of town, but my brother is local and we haven't seen him since Christmas.  And we don't consider it a big deal.  We haven't seen the IL's since October and we saw my Mom at Christmas.  We often go a couple of months without seeing each other and think nothing of it.

jill

Scoop,  all families are different.  If all members are happy seeing each other a few times a year, that is fine.  I used to see my odd and gd more frequently,maybe once or twice a month, but now it is a few times a year.   It is the lack of contact, no phone calls, that bothers me the most....Jill