Feeling left out in son's wedding plans, what should we do?

[Pooh]

Lol LL!  Well all the rules kind of go out the window when you are not being told anything.  Well kind of.  I knew her wedding colors so I stayed away from those and I wouldn't have done white.  But other than that, if you don't include me or tell me, then don't get mad when I show up in something you didn't want.

[Pen]

We weren't given much time either & then they asked DDD to be in the wedding party too at the last minute so we were a little stressed. I decided to choose a color that looked good with the wedding color scheme but not match it or MOTB's color (OK since I was walking in with DH & DS), but did not match the style of MOTB's long dress since I was having trouble finding something long that didn't scream "dumpy old MOTG." Not having unlimited resources I wasn't comfortable spending hundreds on a dress I'd never wear again, so I opted for a knee-length pencil skirt, elegant blouse  and heels. By that time I think FDIL was willing to agree to anything since she knew she'd put us in a bind timewise. I felt and looked great, but I think MOTB was miffed. She sure looked sour in the photos. I was smilin'...and I hadn't had a drop yet.

[overwhelmed123]

Almost all my HS friends wore black...including my singer...I didn't really care.  There may have been a little more sensitivity to DH's FOO wearing black though, as I already knew they didn't like me.  Just human nature I suppose. 

Pooh, I got married a couple years ago and those rules still apply as far as I know.

GMIL asked me beforehand what my wedding colors are.  "Burgundy and gold."  "Oh...okay, so I should get either a burgundy or gold dress."  "No...no...you don't need to match my wedding colors.  Really."  LOL!

[Pooh]

That was me too Pen.  I didn't do anything formal, but the outfit was classy, stylish and dressy.  MOB was wearing a zebra striped skirt and sparkly blouse that was very informal.  She looked at me when I got there and her eyes got huge.  I think she was very miffed that I wore something so totally different than her.

[Pooh]

Almost all my HS friends wore black...including my singer...I didn't really care.  There may have been a little more sensitivity to DH's FOO wearing black though, as I already knew they didn't like me.  Just human nature I suppose. 

Pooh, I got married a couple years ago and those rules still apply as far as I know.

GMIL asked me beforehand what my wedding colors are.  "Burgundy and gold."  "Oh...okay, so I should get either a burgundy or gold dress."  "No...no...you don't need to match my wedding colors.  Really."  LOL!

Ha ha ha...I just got a great image of GMIL showing up in a gold lame' dress!

[Pen]

That was me too Pen.  I didn't do anything formal, but the outfit was classy, stylish and dressy.  MOB was wearing a zebra striped skirt and sparkly blouse that was very informal.  She looked at me when I got there and her eyes got huge.  I think she was very miffed that I wore something so totally different than her.

Good for you Pooh! I figured that since the wedding photos would be around forever I didn't want DS and my grandkids to be embarrassed of me in the future. If the ILs had to be a bit miffed so be it. I'm not a vain, high-maintainance gal, but I do have some pride.

Gold lame' dress - LOL.

[holliberri]

I hadn't heard any of this what everyone should wear stuff. I totally didn't care who wore what. In fact, my Mom's dress was such a light pink that indoors with the flash it appeared to be white. Ooops. It doesn't really bother me a bit. The photos are still on my wall.

I must be out of the wedding etiquette loop. I think it might be easier that way! 

[LaurieS]

I agree Holli.. it is easier to be out of the loop at times.. I applied common sense and did not pose in front of the bride and groom, nor did I make little horns with my fingers behind the mother of the bride's head. 

[Pooh]

Ha ha...at my wedding, I told everyone to wear what they wanted.  It was going to be outside, with reception inside, so dress comfortably!  I didn't care either.

[LaurieS]

My way was still easier.. I invited no one.. I wore my blue jeans and a white gauze top.. I was skinny, tanned and we had a beach to get to. 

[Pen]

See my new post under "internet." LOL

[lancaster lady]

those were the days Laurie ...bet you had a great time ...!
to spend a fortune on a wedding that only means something to two people ,crazy?
Surely it doesn't matter where or how ,as long as you're happy .

[Pooh]

One of the girls here at work got married 5 months before I did, and her DH was from the country.  So their wedding was all country stuff.  She had a lady make her a wedding dress....yes, a full length with train wedding dress, out of denim!  It was sooo cool.

[LaurieS]

One of my dd's best friend is really shy... and  what do you do about the other 'best' friend.. so here is what they came up with.  One best bud will be the MOH.. the shy one is going to become certified and she will actually conduct the ceremony.. I didn't know there isn't much to being official and allowed to conduct a marriage.. I thought that was a different take.  Shy best friend has a sister who will be married within a couple of months and she is now going to officiate her marriage as well.

[Pen]

Laurie, we found out the same thing. In our state there is a little time factor but that's it and you're good to go. People make some bank doing this!