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Christmas

Started by nonamehere, November 21, 2010, 12:15:02 AM

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luise.volta

What are you going to do about that?  :o
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

I want to hear that too.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

nonamehere

Laurie,
Yes our holiday plans were made in the summer.  We usually travel at the holidays as it is one of the few times that we can all do this together due to work and school schedules.  The last two years, DD has had a job that would not permit the travel and not wishing to be left behind, DD expressed her sadness about the possibility that we would make the trips without her.  As a result, we all agreed early on that we would pass on annual out-of-state family visits and Christmas ski trip to spend that time together, with DD who had to stay in town.  Friends and family were disappointed that we had decided to pass the last couple of years on the the Thanksgiving/Christmas travel, but we are a close family and that was the deal. 

And yes, I absolutely resent that MIL would suggest, stipulate and imply that DD be within driving distance of hearth and home for twelve days and not visit.  Believe me, I blame/d DD and SIL, but I can also see that MIL has exhibited many behaviors that would make DD think twice before taking a stand.   

 

LaurieS

Is she incapable of making a stance or is she choosing not to?  All I know is that if the war is starting now, then it will continue into the future.  I know my own son has enough pressure and stress in his life, just trying to start a new life with his wife that to much added outside pressure would probably not end in a favorable manner.

Quote from: nonamehere on November 23, 2010, 07:49:32 PM
but we are a close family and that was the deal. 
Like you, maybe this is how the mil is viewing her offer of supplying the gift of a trip. Is it possible that she is saying that this was the deal, so the end result is justified?

I would hate to see a young couples lives turn into a tugging match, and worse yet to have their mothers shooting barbs at each other especially when it's being done through their own adult children.  Your dd is aware of your feelings, maybe if you stepped back she would come to realize that her needs and desires are not being taken into account by her mil.  Working through differences with her new mil is something that only she and her husband can do and only if they choose to. Trust your daughter to make the right decisions for herself and I'm sure she will.  But this isn't your fight and I would use great caution because there could be hard feelings for years.   

Tara

Good point Laurie,  If Nonamehere you 'carry all the feelings' then your DD doesn't have to.  But if you
pull back, she will have an opportunity to digest whats happened and how she feels
about it on a deeper level. 


Pen

Quote from: luise.volta on November 23, 2010, 03:59:36 PM
What are you going to do about that?  :o

They're coming; apparently the plans were set before we were informed. We'll make them as comfortable as possible w/o going bankrupt or disrupting our lives too much. SM's list of requirements will be met with some small adjustments due to logistics. I'm practicing my best smile and generic, non-committal comments. Previous WWU suggestions re: escape hatches are definitely going to be used!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

LaurieS

Wine Pen.. don't forget the wine

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Thanks everyone. Now that Thanksgiving is over we can really concentrate on the "big" holidays, whichever they may be. Blessings of the season be upon you.

I received a cosmic smack upside my head a couple of days ago when I injured myself by walking into something in my living room that was out of place due to a project of DH's. I'm not sure I'll be able to get all the chores done on my list before critical SM & DF show up, let alone the basic things in home and at work. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something? Can I handle having a less-than-perfect house (and trust me, it is!) or am I so vain and self-involved that I'll ruin the season for DH & DDD by expecting them to help with a million projects that really don't matter? I mean, as long as things are clean and tidy, I've put a little effort into seasonal decor, and the food is edible and maybe even tasty, what else is there to worry about?

DH has been saying I'm futilely trying to impress DIL/SM. Since there is no way to do so unless I win a big ol' lottery, I might as well be myself and stop the insanity (anyone remember Susan Powter?) I'm sure DH & DDD will appreciate it!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

I still have Susan Powter's "Stop the Insanity!" workout! Kirk transferred it from VHS to DVD for me! :-)) And as soon as I get my feet operated on this Wed. (OH... NO...THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!,) I may just get back to it. Or I may rejoin Curves come January 1 because I get two-thirds off with my new medi-gap insurance.

Resolutions anyone?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

My toenails, genetically, are curved and it gets worse with age until they grow into the flesh and are constantly infected and painful. I'm having four done at once. They remove 1/3 of the nail and then kill the roots with a powerful chemical. The recovery is pretty intense for the first two or three weeks because what you have are deep chemical burns that ooze and swell but after that is PEACE! :-)

When my surgeon said "It just gets worse with age/" I said..."Tell me what doesn't!"  ;D ;D Younger people can have it done with Novocaine if it's only one toe but four being done on someone 83 requires a general anesthetic.

So, please think of me Wed. Dec. 1, and the following three weeks. Thanks!  :D

I have had three surgeries in this last year, put my husband into nursing and moved! I am ready for a BORING 2011!!!  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Yah, big OUCH. We'll be thinking of you, Luise. 2011 promises to be boring as can be :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

November 30, 2010, 07:15:29 AM #42 Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 07:19:16 AM by luise.volta
You guys are so great! Thanks! The title of this hijacked thread is "Christmas." Maybe I should be singing that old song, (modified,) "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Feet..."  ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Or "Luise, the Red-Toed Reindeer."
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

That's hilarious! My whole family is going to die laughing over that one!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama